Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Bonnie, Mar 24, 2005.
What are some of yours???
can't think of any cause I'm too busy laughing at yours----------ooooooops there's one right there !!
Damn, you stole my line!
My parents threw a housewarming party some years back, and distant relatives came, you know the ones you hardly ever see except at funerals and weddings. Well my 2nd cousin Linda came so when my mom greeted her at the door she said "oh congratulations when are you due?"
To which my cousin Linda replied..."IM NOT"
Gee how do you put that one back in the bottle???
One of my mom's friends had some sort of brain surgery. A few days after she got out, my parents went to see her. She was complaining about her insurance or the bills or something like that. My Dad replied "you need like that like you need a hole in the head." Luckily, she's a really good-hearted person, so she just laughed about it. He was embarassed, though.
Speaking of someone talking out of turn. Before the PC craze swept the country I was the new Sergeant assigned to the I&I Staff in OKC. Sitting in the office the Master Sergeant called me over and pointed out his window. "Look Sergeant Gwinn," he said, "That is my kind of woman. Girls with one kid puts out. Girls with two kids put out regularly. This girl has two kids and is knocked up. She must be wild." I left the office then meaning to return real quick.
Just as he took a long drink of coffee, I introduced him to my very pregnant wife and two kids. He sputtered half to death, and could not look me in the eye for the rest of the time we worked together.
I was about four or five years old and my mother was taking me to the regular place to get my hair cut. Well as we walked in there was this guy in the chair that maybe had five hairs on his head getting a haircut.
Suddenly I was on the floor. My mother's hand had come from Kansas to visit my face in order to cut off the sound coming from my mouth which was:
"Mommy! Why is that bald guy getting a haircut?!"
"I hate you. I wish I'd never met you."
..said to one specific individual almost a year ago.
Still wish I could take it back, but it's out there. Oh well.
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