Someone Insults Your Wife in Public - What Do You Do?

[Cecilie1200]

Walk away.. if I'm stopped I suffer the consequences. The consequences of inaction would be too high a price to pay, it's my obligation to protect my wife's honor. I have no other choice in the matter.

Good point. If you DIDN'T defend her sufficiently, you'd want the cops to take you into protective custody, because she'd kill you when you got home.

See, I would much rather hear the asshole's filth than spend the rest of my evening arranging for bail for my SO.

I tend to fight my own battles, if only because the cops are unlikely to believe that the big, bad man was abused by the mean, middle-aged housewife.

 

[Cecilie1200]

This is not a bad option and, if this thing were to happen again tonight, I might be tempted. But, again, I would probably have wound up on the wrong side of that one.

I know this - if this had happened when I was younger, I can't say that I would have refrained from popping the guy.

Well, I'm not a man, but I can tell you my response would have been a very loud, "No wonder your kid is such a nasty little animal, with trash like you for a father." Then, when HE swung on ME, I'd have dropped him like a bad habit.

But then, I'm NOT a man, and women can get away with a lot more against a male opponent.

And, would you be writing checks with your mouth that you can't cover and expecting your SO to cover your ass for you?

No offense, but I often feel very sorry for men who end up getting in fights because of a wife or girlfriend who gets obnoxious with her mouth.

Yeah, this guy was obnoxious, too. But the way I look at it is, if my guy would rather not fight this asshole, I am not going to open my mouth and create a situation where he definitely HAS to fight (because the other asshole is already too torqued up and my mouth gives him reason to lose it completely).

No offense, but I think mouthing off is only a good idea if YOU plan on kicking ass, and not expecting your man to kick it for you.

That's just me, though.

And did you read my post before opening your mouth? I guess not, but that's just you.

 

[Si modo]

Good point. If you DIDN'T defend her sufficiently, you'd want the cops to take you into protective custody, because she'd kill you when you got home.

See, I would much rather hear the asshole's filth than spend the rest of my evening arranging for bail for my SO.

I tend to fight my own battles, if only because the cops are unlikely to believe that the big, bad man was abused by the mean, middle-aged housewife.

OK. Cool. If you are willing to physically take the consequences of your words, if any, then that is totally OK in my book.

Personally, I don't fight....ever. Different strokes.

 

[Dot Com]

Wife? Hmmm. Girlfriend? If it was by the Soup Nazi? Nothing 1:26

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJyGJQx2Fgk]Seinfeld-Soup Nazi (Greatest Parts) - YouTube[/ame]​

 

[Si modo]

Well, I'm not a man, but I can tell you my response would have been a very loud, "No wonder your kid is such a nasty little animal, with trash like you for a father." Then, when HE swung on ME, I'd have dropped him like a bad habit.

But then, I'm NOT a man, and women can get away with a lot more against a male opponent.

And, would you be writing checks with your mouth that you can't cover and expecting your SO to cover your ass for you?

No offense, but I often feel very sorry for men who end up getting in fights because of a wife or girlfriend who gets obnoxious with her mouth.

Yeah, this guy was obnoxious, too. But the way I look at it is, if my guy would rather not fight this asshole, I am not going to open my mouth and create a situation where he definitely HAS to fight (because the other asshole is already too torqued up and my mouth gives him reason to lose it completely).

No offense, but I think mouthing off is only a good idea if YOU plan on kicking ass, and not expecting your man to kick it for you.

That's just me, though.

And did you read my post before opening your mouth? I guess not, but that's just you.

Well, my mouth was actually closed when I wrote that.

Irrespective, calm down. I wrote that (at 7:51 PM) BEFORE you wrote that you fight your own battles (7:57 PM). So, it would be pretty hard for me to read something you had yet to write.

Calm down.

 

[Sarah G]

What would you do if some guy called your wife an extremely filthy and insulting name in a public place?

Simple question. Not so simple answer.

(I am posting this in the Law Forum, because I am mainly - but not entirely - concerned with a discussion of the legal consequences that might arise from such a situation.)

I don't think one can answer that question, George, until confronted by the scenario.

Good point. It's interesting to talk about it in the abstract, but when it's in your face, that's an entirely different situation. I'm not even sure what I would do if it happened again.

What kind of a moron would ever say anything to your lovely wife, George?

 

[mudwhistle]

Me? I'd probably say something like "hey asshole, what the fuck's your problem, you want to shout at someone, pick me".

I'd then goad him into a fight, and when he swung first, all legal problems are solved, because now kicking their ass is just self defense.

And, you can't get in trouble for foul language, as they were the ones to start it first.

Pre-emptive strikes are a bad idea in public.

This is not a bad option and, if this thing were to happen again tonight, I might be tempted. But, again, I would probably have wound up on the wrong side of that one.

I know this - if this had happened when I was younger, I can't say that I would have refrained from popping the guy.

Well, I'm not a man, but I can tell you my response would have been a very loud, "No wonder your kid is such a nasty little animal, with trash like you for a father." Then, when HE swung on ME, I'd have dropped him like a bad habit.

But then, I'm NOT a man, and women can get away with a lot more against a male opponent.

Bruce Lee always said keep your eyes on your opponent.

 

[mudwhistle]

See, I would much rather hear the asshole's filth than spend the rest of my evening arranging for bail for my SO.

I tend to fight my own battles, if only because the cops are unlikely to believe that the big, bad man was abused by the mean, middle-aged housewife.

OK. Cool. If you are willing to physically take the consequences of your words, if any, then that is totally OK in my book.

Personally, I don't fight....ever. Different strokes.

There's more than one way to defend yourself.

But you know that.

 

[Cecilie1200]

This is not a bad option and, if this thing were to happen again tonight, I might be tempted. But, again, I would probably have wound up on the wrong side of that one.

I know this - if this had happened when I was younger, I can't say that I would have refrained from popping the guy.

Well, I'm not a man, but I can tell you my response would have been a very loud, "No wonder your kid is such a nasty little animal, with trash like you for a father." Then, when HE swung on ME, I'd have dropped him like a bad habit.

But then, I'm NOT a man, and women can get away with a lot more against a male opponent.

The thing is, you don't always think of snappy retorts like that when all of a sudden, you are thrown off guard by a situation that is unexpectedly shoved in your face.

As I was thinking back on it, what I should have done when he said, "You got a PROBLEM?", was to have smiled confidently and said, "Apparently I do now. Can I help you, sir?" That would have put the ball back in his court and required him to state what HIS problem was. (In these "You got a problem?" confrontations, you understand, the goal is to force the other person into stating what HIS problem is, and refusing to admit that YOU have a problem of any kind.)

But I, at least, do not have the gift of always thinking so fast when the fit hits the shan.

Actually, I DO tend to think like that pretty much all the time. It's a curse. There's actually a good reason why my husband's response to your question was to basically move out of my way. I have a lousy temper, a nasty sharp tongue, and absolutely refuse to let people get away with bullying me because they - erroneously - expect that I will not put them bakc on the receiving end of what they want to direct outwards. And I'm completely capable of doing any physical damage necessary, if it comes to that. I won't start it, but you'd be surprised how many of these people ARE bullies, who feel like hot shit for getting in people's faces when those people are too nice and embarrassed to respond, but feel the exact same sense of humiliation as their victims do when it's turned back on them.

 

[George Costanza]

OK - FYI:

Spurred on by the encouraging remarks on this thread, I in fact called Souper about twenty minutes ago. Their customer care center is in Atlanta. Their main corporate offices are in San Diego. I have yet to talk to anyone from San Diego, and THAT's the folks I want to talk with - not the local manager of this particular restaurant.

I have been assured (by Atlanta) that I will be contacted by someone from San Diego. We'll see. This is the 3rd time I have been told that. This incident happened on 3-8-12.

I have two goals. I want them to tell me what their policy is with regard to handling situaitons like this and I also want to hear that this jerk has been permanently banned from that particular restaurant - not all SoupPlantations (because there are a million of them), just that one.

Not giving up. If they don't give me that satisfaction, they may wish they had. Some type of legal claim has not yet been ruled out, but I hope it doesn't come to that.

Film at eleven . . .

And now, I am going home. We plan on going out tonight for a nice, quiet dinner. Sure hope there aren't any shrieking kids sitting near us . . . .

 

[Si modo]

I tend to fight my own battles, if only because the cops are unlikely to believe that the big, bad man was abused by the mean, middle-aged housewife.

OK. Cool. If you are willing to physically take the consequences of your words, if any, then that is totally OK in my book.

Personally, I don't fight....ever. Different strokes.

There's more than one way to defend yourself.

But you know that.

Yup.

However, if I am confronted with someone who is clearly irrational, I'm not going to do anything to provoke him further. I would have left. The food is not worth it.

If I couldn't have, I would have had my video rolling (for protection) and have already dialed the cops. If I am in fear of my physical safety because some ass is verbally assaulting me, my calling the cops is totally acceptable.

Let them work it out. That's their job.

(Now, if he did try to hurt me, I do have a couple years of Krav under my belt. But, I am not going to start anything physical nor am I going to provoke the other to get physical. )

 

[ABikerSailor]

Scenario guaranteed to get a physical response........use with extreme caution........

Idiot: You got a problem asshole?

Person: Yes, it appears I do, what are you needing?

Idiot: Fuck YOU!

Person: Thanks for the offer, but it looks like your father beat me to it.

Physical response from the idiot almost guaranteed to follow.

Remember if you wish.

 

[High_Gravity]

Me? I'd probably say something like "hey asshole, what the fuck's your problem, you want to shout at someone, pick me".

I'd then goad him into a fight, and when he swung first, all legal problems are solved, because now kicking their ass is just self defense.

And, you can't get in trouble for foul language, as they were the ones to start it first.

Pre-emptive strikes are a bad idea in public.

This is not a bad option and, if this thing were to happen again tonight, I might be tempted. But, again, I would probably have wound up on the wrong side of that one.

I know this - if this had happened when I was younger, I can't say that I would have refrained from popping the guy.

Well, I'm not a man, but I can tell you my response would have been a very loud, "No wonder your kid is such a nasty little animal, with trash like you for a father." Then, when HE swung on ME, I'd have dropped him like a bad habit.

But then, I'm NOT a man, and women can get away with a lot more against a male opponent.

This is very true but I have seen women get arrested for assaulting a man.

 

[freedombecki]

What would you do if some guy called your wife an extremely filthy and insulting name in a public place?

Simple question. Not so simple answer.

(I am posting this in the Law Forum, because I am mainly - but not entirely - concerned with a discussion of the legal consequences that might arise from such a situation.)

I don't know how a man would react, but if someone said something about my better half, they'd get something back, ranging between a snicker to a complete and unflappable cold shoulder, depending on who said it. If his best friend said it, I'd likely die laughing. If his boss said it, I'd be thinking in terms of job role reversal and would help it happen. If another woman said it, she would likely never see the inside of my home before or afterward.

Nobody ever would dare to tell that to him about me before his cerebral accident, or they would see the cruel side of a 100% good man. That would not have been a good place to be. Of course, to my knowledge that never happened, and if it had he'd be too much of a gentleman to tell me the who what and outcome of it. I married a wise and generous man who earned people's love, cooperation, and camaraderie before his cerebral accident. Even afterward, he is the same affable person as ever. Good people liked him so much there was constant laughter in our home from all the ribbing that went on. Lucky me to carry a treasury of happiness in my head about a stellar man.

 

[Katzndogz]

Once a man threatened me. My husband went up to him and told him to shut up. The man said "What are ya gonna do about you f**k. My husband said "Me! Nothing, but she will have your balls for breakfast."

He was a dear about letting me have my little enjoyments.

 

[Two Thumbs]

What would you do if some guy called your wife an extremely filthy and insulting name in a public place?

Simple question. Not so simple answer.

(I am posting this in the Law Forum, because I am mainly - but not entirely - concerned with a discussion of the legal consequences that might arise from such a situation.)

Warn him not to repeat what he's said or he'll get a smack in the mouth.

if he repeats, smack him in the mouth with the warning that next time he gets punched.

It escalates from there.

If he calls the cops, I wonder off, and let the cops laugh at his dumb ass.

 

[freedombecki]

Well, that's one way to look at it, I suppose. Not what I had in mind. I wonder if anyone else wants to jump in here?

How about you jump in as well...

How does Mr. Shrinkage handle the situation?

I'll tell you how I DID handle it two weeks ago when this very thing happened to my wife and myself while we were dining at a SoupPlantation.

My wife, myself and our adult son were sitting there, eating dinner. This guy came up to our table and began hurling insults at all three of us. We had been looking disapprovingly at his nearby table, where he and his wife were encouraging their infant child to shriek loudly, disturbing everyone in the restaurant. He took offense that we disapproved of this conduct.

Anyway, he started in, calling me, my son and my wife, all sorts of really filthy names. Obviously, this guy had issues.

I thought about hitting him, but decided against it. As a criminal defense attorney, I know all too well that mere words, no matter how insulting, are not a legal justification for physical violence in response to those words. So I went to get the manager.

Unfortunately, the manager was this rather small, shy and very polite female, who tried to get this guy to shut up, but failed miserably. He took one look at her, ignored her, and continued with his tirade for two or three more minutes, until he finally sputtered himself out and allowed her to guide him back to his table.

A most disturbing evening, to say the least. I think the incident was handled badly by the manager and am in touch with Soupplantation upper management on that point. I think the manager should have kicked the jerk out on the spot and told him never to return.

But I know I did the right thing not to hit him. I was able to drive my wife home and try to calm her down - she was (of course) very upset by what had happened. I would not have been much use to her if she had had to drive herself home while I was being booked at the local jail.

It was suggested by a friend that I should have decked him and then told the police that I thought he was starting to swing on me. First, that would have been a lie, and the incident was witnessed by several dozen people. Secondly, I am 72 years old and never have been a fighter. Maybe instead of jail, I might have wound up in the hospital. This guy was in his 50's, very solidly built, with tattoos totally covering both arms and a crazed look in his eye. As I said, he clearly had issues.

Issues? I'd say he was a poster boy for confining schizophrenic patients.

/ducking and running

 

[Douger]

What would you do if some guy called your wife an extremely filthy and insulting name in a public place?

Simple question. Not so simple answer.

(I am posting this in the Law Forum, because I am mainly - but not entirely - concerned with a discussion of the legal consequences that might arise from such a situation.)

Spinning backfist. If the creature is able to block it ? 44 special Charter Arms bulldog.

 

[Katzndogz]

Well, that's one way to look at it, I suppose. Not what I had in mind. I wonder if anyone else wants to jump in here?

How about you jump in as well...

How does Mr. Shrinkage handle the situation?

I'll tell you how I DID handle it two weeks ago when this very thing happened to my wife and myself while we were dining at a SoupPlantation.

My wife, myself and our adult son were sitting there, eating dinner. This guy came up to our table and began hurling insults at all three of us. We had been looking disapprovingly at his nearby table, where he and his wife were encouraging their infant child to shriek loudly, disturbing everyone in the restaurant. He took offense that we disapproved of this conduct.

Anyway, he started in, calling me, my son and my wife, all sorts of really filthy names. Obviously, this guy had issues.

I thought about hitting him, but decided against it. As a criminal defense attorney, I know all too well that mere words, no matter how insulting, are not a legal justification for physical violence in response to those words. So I went to get the manager.

Unfortunately, the manager was this rather small, shy and very polite female, who tried to get this guy to shut up, but failed miserably. He took one look at her, ignored her, and continued with his tirade for two or three more minutes, until he finally sputtered himself out and allowed her to guide him back to his table.

A most disturbing evening, to say the least. I think the incident was handled badly by the manager and am in touch with Soupplantation upper management on that point. I think the manager should have kicked the jerk out on the spot and told him never to return.

But I know I did the right thing not to hit him. I was able to drive my wife home and try to calm her down - she was (of course) very upset by what had happened. I would not have been much use to her if she had had to drive herself home while I was being booked at the local jail.

It was suggested by a friend that I should have decked him and then told the police that I thought he was starting to swing on me. First, that would have been a lie, and the incident was witnessed by several dozen people. Secondly, I am 72 years old and never have been a fighter. Maybe instead of jail, I might have wound up in the hospital. This guy was in his 50's, very solidly built, with tattoos totally covering both arms and a crazed look in his eye. As I said, he clearly had issues.

I have found that the parents of misbehaving children invariably get upset at the merest suggestion that their kids should not be behaving badly, screaming, jumping around, throwing a tantrum whatever the little dears are doing. I have gotten into more than a few fights over it. Incidentally, deranged parents are frightfully easy to provoke into escalating to the point where it won't be you hauled off to the cross bar hotel.

You were at your table when this nasty man approached. Were there no knives, forks, plates, ketchup bottle? You are only in need of some serious lessons in street fighting, my friend. Particularly in turning common objects into weapons in various forms of deadly.

 

[earlycuyler]

What would you do if some guy called your wife an extremely filthy and insulting name in a public place?

Simple question. Not so simple answer.

(I am posting this in the Law Forum, because I am mainly - but not entirely - concerned with a discussion of the legal consequences that might arise from such a situation.)[/QUOTE

Maybe slap the offender around some.