Someone Insults Your Wife in Public - What Do You Do?

[George Costanza]

I love ALL of these resposnes. Thanks so much. I feel as though I have some real friends here who are rallying around on this issue. That's a good feeling.

 

[syrenn]

What would you do if some guy called your wife an extremely filthy and insulting name in a public place?

Simple question. Not so simple answer.

(I am posting this in the Law Forum, because I am mainly - but not entirely - concerned with a discussion of the legal consequences that might arise from such a situation.)

What would provoke someone to do this?

OK - I went a little light on this in the OP. Here is what preceded the outburst:

We filled our trays up and were seated at a table about 15 feet or so away from his table. He was in there with two women and an infant child, about a year old, in an infant chair.

As we were entering the seating area prior to being seated, we could hear this child. You know that loud, piercing SHRIEK that only a child of that age can make? The kind that goes through your head like a bolt of lightning? That's what this kid was doing.

As I said, they seated us pretty close to all this. The kid let out one of those shrieks about every three minutes or so. Then we noticed that not only were these people not taking any steps to shut the child up, they were actually encouraging him to do it, lauging among themselves whenever he came out with this annoying sound, chucking him under the chin, etc.

Furthermore, these people had long since finished dinner. They were just occupying a table, fooling with the infant and taking up space. And the damn noise continued, and continued, and continued. The thing that got this guy up out of his chair and storming over to our table was, simply, two or three disapproving glances in their direction, indicating we were not pleased with the noise level of the kid and the way in which they were doing nothing to put a stop to it. That's it. No one at our table ever SAID anything to them. All we did was shoot a couple of admittedly dirty looks at them - no, not even dirty looks; more annoyed looks.

Did I mention that this guy had tattoos covering his entire arms, from his wrists up to the end of his short sleeved shirt? For all I know, they continued on and covered the rest of his body. He was obviously unbalanced. His initial remark to me was the time-worn: "Hey! You got a PROBLEM???" I said yes, I do and pointed out to him that you could hear the child all over the restaurant. "So WHAT?" I said, It's annoying."

That's when he started in. Let's see - I was a "cock-sucking asshole" and my wife was a "fucking bitch." This tirade went on for about 5 minutes. The manager was unsuccessful in getting him to shut up. But I have already gone into all that.

Anyway - that's how it all got started. I am reminded of how many times I have said to my wife in recent years, "You know, you can't even look cross-eyed at someone these days without having it turn into a major incident."

Looks like I was right.

Remember your new pet cell phone? Its got a video camera on it.... with sound.

 

[Zander]

I like the way you handled it George. You were cool under pressure and are mature enough to realize that you folks were not the problem - he's the one with control issues. I'd of done the same thing.

 

[westwall]

I love ALL of these resposnes. Thanks so much. I feel as though I have some real friends here who are rallying around on this issue. That's a good feeling.

Hey, we might not agree with you on most subjects but at least you're nice! We like nice people!

 

[rdean]

Kill them of course. What else can you do?

 

[Si modo]

I love ALL of these resposnes. Thanks so much. I feel as though I have some real friends here who are rallying around on this issue. That's a good feeling.

You're good people, George.

 

[George Costanza]

I like the way you handled it George. You were cool under pressure and are mature enough to realize that you folks were not the problem - he's the one with control issues. I'd of done the same thing.

Thanks, Z-man.

 

[Cecilie1200]

What would you do if some guy called your wife an extremely filthy and insulting name in a public place?

Simple question. Not so simple answer.

(I am posting this in the Law Forum, because I am mainly - but not entirely - concerned with a discussion of the legal consequences that might arise from such a situation.)

My husband's answer was, "Duck, because SHE'S about to turn him into confetti."

 

[AquaAthena]

What would you do if some guy called your wife an extremely filthy and insulting name in a public place?

Simple question. Not so simple answer.

(I am posting this in the Law Forum, because I am mainly - but not entirely - concerned with a discussion of the legal consequences that might arise from such a situation.)

I don't think one can answer that question, George, until confronted by the scenario.

 

[Cecilie1200]

and I was there... confront him..line it up.. and a swift kick to the balls...

OK - he drops like a sack of clams. As he lies there on the floor, he screams: "Call the police!" Someone does.

Now what do you do?

Walk away.. if I'm stopped I suffer the consequences. The consequences of inaction would be too high a price to pay, it's my obligation to protect my wife's honor. I have no other choice in the matter.

Good point. If you DIDN'T defend her sufficiently, you'd want the cops to take you into protective custody, because she'd kill you when you got home.

 

[Ernie S.]

What would you do if some guy called your wife an extremely filthy and insulting name in a public place?

Simple question. Not so simple answer.

(I am posting this in the Law Forum, because I am mainly - but not entirely - concerned with a discussion of the legal consequences that might arise from such a situation.)

What would provoke someone to do this?

OK - I went a little light on this in the OP. Here is what preceded the outburst:

We filled our trays up and were seated at a table about 15 feet or so away from his table. He was in there with two women and an infant child, about a year old, in an infant chair.

As we were entering the seating area prior to being seated, we could hear this child. You know that loud, piercing SHRIEK that only a child of that age can make? The kind that goes through your head like a bolt of lightning? That's what this kid was doing.

As I said, they seated us pretty close to all this. The kid let out one of those shrieks about every three minutes or so. Then we noticed that not only were these people not taking any steps to shut the child up, they were actually encouraging him to do it, lauging among themselves whenever he came out with this annoying sound, chucking him under the chin, etc.

Furthermore, these people had long since finished dinner. They were just occupying a table, fooling with the infant and taking up space. And the damn noise continued, and continued, and continued. The thing that got this guy up out of his chair and storming over to our table was, simply, two or three disapproving glances in their direction, indicating we were not pleased with the noise level of the kid and the way in which they were doing nothing to put a stop to it. That's it. No one at our table ever SAID anything to them. All we did was shoot a couple of admittedly dirty looks at them - no, not even dirty looks; more annoyed looks.

Did I mention that this guy had tattoos covering his entire arms, from his wrists up to the end of his short sleeved shirt? For all I know, they continued on and covered the rest of his body. He was obviously unbalanced. His initial remark to me was the time-worn: "Hey! You got a PROBLEM???" I said yes, I do and pointed out to him that you could hear the child all over the restaurant. "So WHAT?" I said, It's annoying."

That's when he started in. Let's see - I was a "cock-sucking asshole" and my wife was a "fucking bitch." This tirade went on for about 5 minutes. The manager was unsuccessful in getting him to shut up. But I have already gone into all that.

Anyway - that's how it all got started. I am reminded of how many times I have said to my wife in recent years, "You know, you can't even look cross-eyed at someone these days without having it turn into a major incident."

Looks like I was right.

You find tattoos especially intimidating George?

 

[Ernie S.]

I love ALL of these resposnes. Thanks so much. I feel as though I have some real friends here who are rallying around on this issue. That's a good feeling.

You're good people, George.

A bit misguided, but a decent chap.

 

[Si modo]

OK - he drops like a sack of clams. As he lies there on the floor, he screams: "Call the police!" Someone does.

Now what do you do?

Walk away.. if I'm stopped I suffer the consequences. The consequences of inaction would be too high a price to pay, it's my obligation to protect my wife's honor. I have no other choice in the matter.

Good point. If you DIDN'T defend her sufficiently, you'd want the cops to take you into protective custody, because she'd kill you when you got home.

See, I would much rather hear the asshole's filth than spend the rest of my evening arranging for bail for my SO.

 

[Cecilie1200]

What would you do if some guy called your wife an extremely filthy and insulting name in a public place?

Simple question. Not so simple answer.

(I am posting this in the Law Forum, because I am mainly - but not entirely - concerned with a discussion of the legal consequences that might arise from such a situation.)

Cell phone.... get it on tape. If you cant sue him.... vilify him on you tube.

If you can find out where the guy works, you can share the recording with his boss.

 

[Cecilie1200]

Me? I'd probably say something like "hey asshole, what the fuck's your problem, you want to shout at someone, pick me".

I'd then goad him into a fight, and when he swung first, all legal problems are solved, because now kicking their ass is just self defense.

And, you can't get in trouble for foul language, as they were the ones to start it first.

Pre-emptive strikes are a bad idea in public.

This is not a bad option and, if this thing were to happen again tonight, I might be tempted. But, again, I would probably have wound up on the wrong side of that one.

I know this - if this had happened when I was younger, I can't say that I would have refrained from popping the guy.

Well, I'm not a man, but I can tell you my response would have been a very loud, "No wonder your kid is such a nasty little animal, with trash like you for a father." Then, when HE swung on ME, I'd have dropped him like a bad habit.

But then, I'm NOT a man, and women can get away with a lot more against a male opponent.

 

[George Costanza]

What would you do if some guy called your wife an extremely filthy and insulting name in a public place?

Simple question. Not so simple answer.

(I am posting this in the Law Forum, because I am mainly - but not entirely - concerned with a discussion of the legal consequences that might arise from such a situation.)

I don't think one can answer that question, George, until confronted by the scenario.

Good point. It's interesting to talk about it in the abstract, but when it's in your face, that's an entirely different situation. I'm not even sure what I would do if it happened again.

 

[Si modo]

Me? I'd probably say something like "hey asshole, what the fuck's your problem, you want to shout at someone, pick me".

I'd then goad him into a fight, and when he swung first, all legal problems are solved, because now kicking their ass is just self defense.

And, you can't get in trouble for foul language, as they were the ones to start it first.

Pre-emptive strikes are a bad idea in public.

This is not a bad option and, if this thing were to happen again tonight, I might be tempted. But, again, I would probably have wound up on the wrong side of that one.

I know this - if this had happened when I was younger, I can't say that I would have refrained from popping the guy.

Well, I'm not a man, but I can tell you my response would have been a very loud, "No wonder your kid is such a nasty little animal, with trash like you for a father." Then, when HE swung on ME, I'd have dropped him like a bad habit.

But then, I'm NOT a man, and women can get away with a lot more against a male opponent.

And, would you be writing checks with your mouth that you can't cover and expecting your SO to cover your ass for you?

No offense, but I often feel very sorry for men who end up getting in fights because of a wife or girlfriend who gets obnoxious with her mouth.

Yeah, this guy was obnoxious, too. But the way I look at it is, if my guy would rather not fight this asshole, I am not going to open my mouth and create a situation where he definitely HAS to fight (because the other asshole is already too torqued up and my mouth gives him reason to lose it completely).

No offense, but I think mouthing off is only a good idea if YOU plan on kicking ass, and not expecting your man to kick it for you.

That's just me, though.

 

[manifold]

What would you do if some guy called your wife an extremely filthy and insulting name in a public place?

Simple question. Not so simple answer.

(I am posting this in the Law Forum, because I am mainly - but not entirely - concerned with a discussion of the legal consequences that might arise from such a situation.)

I don't think one can answer that question, George, until confronted by the scenario.

Good point. It's interesting to talk about it in the abstract, but when it's in your face, that's an entirely different situation. I'm not even sure what I would do if it happened again.

I'm telling you, go with the Reservoir Dogs line, as long as you're confident enough you can handle yourself if he takes a swing. I used it once in a similar situation and the guy just yelled "FUCK YOU" one last time and then walked away, but I know he was feeling pretty small.

 

[George Costanza]

Me? I'd probably say something like "hey asshole, what the fuck's your problem, you want to shout at someone, pick me".

I'd then goad him into a fight, and when he swung first, all legal problems are solved, because now kicking their ass is just self defense.

And, you can't get in trouble for foul language, as they were the ones to start it first.

Pre-emptive strikes are a bad idea in public.

This is not a bad option and, if this thing were to happen again tonight, I might be tempted. But, again, I would probably have wound up on the wrong side of that one.

I know this - if this had happened when I was younger, I can't say that I would have refrained from popping the guy.

Well, I'm not a man, but I can tell you my response would have been a very loud, "No wonder your kid is such a nasty little animal, with trash like you for a father." Then, when HE swung on ME, I'd have dropped him like a bad habit.

But then, I'm NOT a man, and women can get away with a lot more against a male opponent.

The thing is, you don't always think of snappy retorts like that when all of a sudden, you are thrown off guard by a situation that is unexpectedly shoved in your face.

As I was thinking back on it, what I should have done when he said, "You got a PROBLEM?", was to have smiled confidently and said, "Apparently I do now. Can I help you, sir?" That would have put the ball back in his court and required him to state what HIS problem was. (In these "You got a problem?" confrontations, you understand, the goal is to force the other person into stating what HIS problem is, and refusing to admit that YOU have a problem of any kind.)

But I, at least, do not have the gift of always thinking so fast when the fit hits the shan.

 

[Cecilie1200]

What would you do if some guy called your wife an extremely filthy and insulting name in a public place?

Simple question. Not so simple answer.

(I am posting this in the Law Forum, because I am mainly - but not entirely - concerned with a discussion of the legal consequences that might arise from such a situation.)

What would provoke someone to do this?

Some people just don't know how to behave in human society.

The other day, I'm driving into the parking lot of my local supermarket. There's this asshole walking along the right side of my lane, with his back to me. All of a sudden, he just steps out in front of me without even looking. I hit the brakes, and instead of moving out of my way, he turns around to face my car, spreads his arms, and yells, "What? You gonna hit me, bitch? Fuckin' speeders!" Then flips me the bird and saunters the rest of the way out of the parking lot.

I parked my car and went inside, where I found he was standing there, waiting to yell some more about how I "almost hit him, where the fuck do I get off speeding in a parking lot?" and more of the same. I said, "If I'd been speeding, I'd have fat, greasy Mexican smeared on the front of my car right now." He started yelling some more, to which I said, "Gee, sorry about your tiny penis, dude", then turned to the cop who's regularly stationed in that supermarket and had just arrived, informed him that I felt that my safety was threatened by this out-of-control lunatic, and insisted that he be escorted from the property immediately.

I don't know if the dipshit ever DID get to buy whatever it was he went to the store for. Personally, I calmly went on with my shopping.