Someone Humped My Leg

[JW Frogen]

I have actually witnessed Galapagos tortoises fucking.

No joke, at the Melbourne Zoo.

It is a sound that would make Lady Gaga gag.

A French women turned to me and said "that is not very sexy, is it."

I said, "I am turned on."

But then I like Jimmy Buffet too.

 

[mudwhistle]

on St. Patrick's Day.

I was in a Bar eating lunch on St. Patrick's day. Only other person at the bar was some girl, cursing and texting.

On my way out I thought I'd leave her with a pleasent, hopeful, thought, "I bet this place is gonna be really full tonight for St. Patrick's Day!!"

She says, "Yeah, and I'm gonna be Leg Humping everybody....girls like it more than guys."

I was too shocked to respond. How base had society become? Was she serious?

Anyway, hours later, after I'd had a few, I returned to the bar to investigate whatever "progress" she may have made.

Within a minute she was Humping MY LEG!!!

VIGOROUSLY!!!

I mean I checked my jeans for holes!!!


Is this the latest 20-something method of greeting? I've heard, with great regret, girls calling each other "bitches," but has civilization's glue completely become undone?

Was she hot?

You tell me:

Face: reminded me of Winona Rider.
Hair: Pageboy-short
Hieght: 5'3"
Weight: 100 lbs
Bewbies: Unknown (wearing bulky clothes)
Smell: OK (nothing perceptable over the normal "Ou-Du-Poolhall"
Eyes: Brown? (she was wearing those little square glasses popular among baristas)

I think you just admitted to a felony. She sounds like she's 12.

 

[editec]

Within a minute she was Humping MY LEG!!!

VIGOROUSLY!!!

The horror!​

 

[mudwhistle]

on St. Patrick's Day.

I was in a Bar eating lunch on St. Patrick's day. Only other person at the bar was some girl, cursing and texting.

On my way out I thought I'd leave her with a pleasent, hopeful, thought, "I bet this place is gonna be really full tonight for St. Patrick's Day!!"

She says, "Yeah, and I'm gonna be Leg Humping everybody....girls like it more than guys."

I was too shocked to respond. How base had society become? Was she serious?

Anyway, hours later, after I'd had a few, I returned to the bar to investigate whatever "progress" she may have made.

Within a minute she was Humping MY LEG!!!

VIGOROUSLY!!!

I mean I checked my jeans for holes!!!


Is this the latest 20-something method of greeting? I've heard, with great regret, girls calling each other "bitches," but has civilization's glue completely become undone?

I think she was just blowing off steam after a test. Probably a college student. She might have even took a ruffie.

First thing I would check for is to see if she was "spotting".

I have to admit....I'm not sure what I would do in your circumstance. I'd ether push her away, lay a lip-lock on her, or just let her finish. I think it would all depend on how I was feeling at the moment.

 

[Samson]

Was she hot?

You tell me:

Face: reminded me of Winona Rider.
Hair: Pageboy-short
Hieght: 5'3"
Weight: 100 lbs
Bewbies: Unknown (wearing bulky clothes)
Smell: OK (nothing perceptable over the normal "Ou-Du-Poolhall"
Eyes: Brown? (she was wearing those little square glasses popular among baristas)

I think you just admitted to a felony. She sounds like she's 12.

You know, now that you mention it, had it been anywhere except a bar.....she could've been.

I think she was just blowing off steam after a test. Probably a college student. She might have even took a ruffie.

First thing I would check for is to see if she was "spotting".

I have to admit....I'm not sure what I would do in your circumstance. I'd ether push her away, lay a lip-lock on her, or just let her finish. I think it would all depend on how I was feeling at the moment.

I just let her finish. I guess had it lasted more than 10 minutes, I would've run away (hopefully not dragging her undulating body). But it was over in less than a minute.

Listening in on the conversation she was having with herself as she was texting allowed me to pick up a little information. It seemed she was VERY pissed off, and that someone "had better get their shit OUT TODAY!!!"

 

[Samson]

Really insane people obsess about sex all the time. That and people who never get any...

Humping your leg? If you are making this up, you have a problem with women. If true, she has mental problems.

I'm guessing you're certainly right: Not getting any could drive a person insane.

No, this actually happened. I don't mention it as something terribly sexual, but as something..........somewhat shocking......but entertaining.

My preference is to have a more romantic interlude in private.

 

[Samson]

A French women turned to me and said "that is not very sexy, is it."

Other wimmin could learn much from French Wimmin.

French Wimmin are always, CONSTANTLY, asking: "what else could I do to pleasure a man," even if she may need to imitate a Fucking Galapagos Tortois.

 

[rightwinger]

on St. Patrick's Day.

I was in a Bar eating lunch on St. Patrick's day. Only other person at the bar was some girl, cursing and texting.

On my way out I thought I'd leave her with a pleasent, hopeful, thought, "I bet this place is gonna be really full tonight for St. Patrick's Day!!"

She says, "Yeah, and I'm gonna be Leg Humping everybody....girls like it more than guys."

I was too shocked to respond. How base had society become? Was she serious?

Anyway, hours later, after I'd had a few, I returned to the bar to investigate whatever "progress" she may have made.

Within a minute she was Humping MY LEG!!!

VIGOROUSLY!!!

I mean I checked my jeans for holes!!!


Is this the latest 20-something method of greeting? I've heard, with great regret, girls calling each other "bitches," but has civilization's glue completely become undone?

Reminds me of the scene in Superbad where the girl humping his leg was having her period

 

[xsited1]

Someone Humped My Leg

Sorry about that. You were wearing a squid shirt and I just couldn't resist.

 

[Ringel05]

Burn the pants. If she's been around that much, well........