Some things to ponder - when you're REALLY bored

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Merlin1047, Jan 25, 2005.

  1. Merlin1047
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    Merlin1047 Senior Member

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    I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

    I had amnesia once -- or twice.

    I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?

    Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

    All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

    If the world were a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.

    What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

    They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.

    Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows
    up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.

    Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

    Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

    What if there were no hypothetical questions?

    One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

    When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like
    a nail.

    A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

    What was the greatest thing before sliced bread? Hmmm...

    My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.

    I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

    The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

    How can there be self-help "groups"?

    Is there another word for synonym?

    Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

    The speed of time is one-second per second.

    Is it possible to be totally partial?

    What's another word for thesaurus?

    Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?

    If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

    It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

    Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
     
  2. Joz
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    Joz Senior Member

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    I read them 'cause I was bored. But you typed them!
     
  3. Merlin1047
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    Merlin1047 Senior Member

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    Nay, nay, dear lady.

    Cut and paste job from an e-mail.

    :funnyface
     
  4. no1tovote4
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    no1tovote4 VIP Member

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    Do penguins have knees?!
     
  5. fuzzykitten99
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    fuzzykitten99 Senior Member

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    Is it cruel to feed chicken mcnuggets to seagulls?
     
  6. wolvie20m
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    wolvie20m Member

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    Me TOO!!
     
  7. drowe
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    drowe Member

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    Why do we drive on the parkway and park on the driveway?

    Hmmmm......
     
  8. manu1959
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    manu1959 Left Coast Isolationist

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    i dadted a girl once named milano she would eat them said it was canibalism
     

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