Discussion in 'Religion and Ethics' started by Sky Dancer, Dec 13, 2011.
It's a Buddhaful thing to do
that pun was bad
Bad pun but GREAT intention. Thanks Sky
It's one thing to smile yourself, but to make another person smile is a gift to you both.
A paratrooper was scared to jump. His instructor told him, "If anything goes wrong, say, `Buddha oh Buddha' and you will be saved."
The paratrooper got so scared that he forgot to pull his rip cord. So he said, "Buddha oh Buddha," and a hand came out of the sky and saved him.
He said, "Thank God," and he was dropped.
How many Madhayamka scholars does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One to scew it in.
One to not screw it in.
One to both screw it in and not screw it in.
One too neither screw it in nor not screw it in.
How many Gelugpas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
2 to have a debate about the nature of light and 1 to twist the bulb
How many Sakyapas?
1 to write the instructions and the auto-commentary, 1 to twist the bulb
How many Kagyupas?
But he has to spend years and years sealed in a cave first.
How many Nyingmapas?
But he has to dig up the instructions to find out the bulb is already in.
How many Bonpos?
But their bulbs screw in the other direction.
I got nothing against Buddha, but what is it about a statue of a fat guy with a shit-eating grin on his face? I don't get it. We've got one outside our back door. Sits on an overturned whiskey barrel in the garden. It's hollow (probably made in China) so we hide the door key in his ass end.
I took my brother to the eye clinic today because he needed a driver home. They had to scrape some calcium deposits off his cornea.
Anyway- we get in the elvator, and it's just the two of us and a tiny elderly lady. My brother pushes the button. The lady says "floor 2 please". He pushes 2.
I said "8". Well the building has 4 floors. The lady busted out laughing.
My brother and I get off the elevator and he said that I was stupid for saying that.
So I said "you know what- that may be the only time in that lady's entire week that she had a good belly laugh. That's why I said what I did. Just to brighten a stranger's day".
That's what it's all about folks.
Why are there no good Buddhist blues guitarists?
They have no soul.
A Zen master once said to me, Do the opposite of whatever I tell you. So I didn't.
I do like these quotes and quips, but does anybody have some stories of Zen/Buddha stuff that you pull off by yourself?
Like oh I helped somebody? The fantasy stuff is cool but - anything going on there in the world?
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