Dabs
~Unpredictable~
A man approached the minister at his church. "Reverend," he said. "We have a problem. My wife keeps falling asleep, during your sermons. It's very embarrassing, not to mention disrespectful. What can I do?"
"I've noticed this and have an idea, if you're up to the task," said the minister. "Take this hat pin with you. I can see when Mrs. Jones is sleeping and will motion to you. When I motion you give her a good poke in the leg with the hat pin.
He agreed to the plan. In church the following Sunday, Mrs. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. ". . .and who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mr.Jones.
"Jesus!" Mrs. Jones cried out, as her husband jabbed her in the leg, with the sharp hat pin.
Yes! You are correct, Mrs. Jones!" came the minister's quick reply.
Mrs. Jones then turned and glared angrily at her husband.
Mrs. Jones again nodded off. The minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning toward Mr. Jones.
My God!" howled Mrs. Jones, as she was stuck again.
Right again!" bellowed the minister, a slight grin on his face.
Mrs. Jones again gave her husband a real hard threatening glare. Before long, though, she nodded off once more. This time, however, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon he made a few hand gestures that Mr. Jones mistook as signals to sharply poke his wife with the hat pin again.
The minister asked: ". . .and what did Eve say to Adam, after she bore him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones jumped up and shouted: "You stick that thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it where the sun don't shine!"
Amen!" replied all the women in the congregation.
"I've noticed this and have an idea, if you're up to the task," said the minister. "Take this hat pin with you. I can see when Mrs. Jones is sleeping and will motion to you. When I motion you give her a good poke in the leg with the hat pin.
He agreed to the plan. In church the following Sunday, Mrs. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. ". . .and who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mr.Jones.
"Jesus!" Mrs. Jones cried out, as her husband jabbed her in the leg, with the sharp hat pin.
Yes! You are correct, Mrs. Jones!" came the minister's quick reply.
Mrs. Jones then turned and glared angrily at her husband.
Mrs. Jones again nodded off. The minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning toward Mr. Jones.
My God!" howled Mrs. Jones, as she was stuck again.
Right again!" bellowed the minister, a slight grin on his face.
Mrs. Jones again gave her husband a real hard threatening glare. Before long, though, she nodded off once more. This time, however, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon he made a few hand gestures that Mr. Jones mistook as signals to sharply poke his wife with the hat pin again.
The minister asked: ". . .and what did Eve say to Adam, after she bore him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones jumped up and shouted: "You stick that thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it where the sun don't shine!"
Amen!" replied all the women in the congregation.
