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[Diana1180]

For men, this is how they see it. But women, it's different. A woman may claim that's all she wants... but that's normally not true.

Many times I've seen it where the woman says she's completely happy with the commitment-less relationship... but then they are miserable.

There's a girl (I'll call her Tammy since she didn't give me permission to share this), and she had exactly this kind of relationship. Tammy hung out with this guy for 3 years. Then, he found someone else. Which if Tammy really believed that a commitment-less relationship was fine... she would have just accepted that and moved on. Instead Tammy had a mental break down, and ended up on anti-depressants and 3 years of counseling.

Another girl (Linda I'll call her), was with another guy for 3 years. They joked about how they didn't need marriage or commitment. Linda even joked about marriage. Then the guy found another girl, and moved out. Linda became the most angry bitter person you ever met. She never really was the same after that.

Guy can deal with this floating relationship a ton easier than woman. They say they don't need commitment, but most of them really want something solid and secure, and while you think it's a safe perfectly fine open relationship, you are actually really harming these women. They are not designed for flings and short relationships.

oh trust me.. I wont be good with this for years. I DO want a relationship eventually. And I haven't stopped looking for one because I enjoy this guys company. Like I said, he is a great guy. But I wont pass up a date with a potential Mr. Right

 

[High_Gravity]

It seems that alot of people especially men want the comfort of being in a relationship like the sex, fun, weekend get aways etc without the commitment and head aches that come with it, what I find strange is a good number of women are willing to accomodate these men but the guys that actually want a relationship go in the dustbin, interesting.

 

[High_Gravity]

I have a feeling it is going the same route as it did then. Great guy, have a blast together, good chemistry.... but ... he has said that he still doesnt feel he "is in a good place" to put in the time a relationship deserves. Which is the issue we had before.

But I enjoy his company and we have fun when we go out so I am good with it for now...

First, I have no idea about you, or him, or your relationship.

But I would warn you of one thing. I've seen this before with other men specifically. It's a man thing.

If you, as woman, are available to him, whenever he wants to go out...... You are basically an unpaid adult escort.

*IF*... I don't know the situation. Just based on what you said right there... you are a call girl that isn't paid.

And here's the kicker. If he knows he can call you up whenever he wants you, and doesn't have to make any commitments, and you'll "go away" until the next time he calls.......

Please don't be mad, I'm just saying what I've seen....

.... He will never "feel he is in a good place to put in the time a relationship deserves"...... when doesn't have to. And right now... he doesn't have to. He can call his call-girl whenever he wants, and enjoy the company of a women when he wants it, and doesn't have to put any time into a real relationship that requires commitment.

And here's the other thing.... as long as you are "with" him whenever he calls for a night out... your chances of finding a man that wants something real.... very low.

Again, don't be mad. Just saying what I have seen. Just a messenger.

Well I wouldnt go as far as to call her an escort per say, but yeah if a man gets to have the same kind of fun you get in a relationship like hanging out, sex etc without actually being commited than yes its a big win for the man, and he will not want to commit, why should he? but if shes fine with it, their good to go I guess.

For men, this is how they see it. But women, it's different. A woman may claim that's all she wants... but that's normally not true.

Many times I've seen it where the woman says she's completely happy with the commitment-less relationship... but then they are miserable.

There's a girl (I'll call her Tammy since she didn't give me permission to share this), and she had exactly this kind of relationship. Tammy hung out with this guy for 3 years. Then, he found someone else. Which if Tammy really believed that a commitment-less relationship was fine... she would have just accepted that and moved on. Instead Tammy had a mental break down, and ended up on anti-depressants and 3 years of counseling.

Another girl (Linda I'll call her), was with another guy for 3 years. They joked about how they didn't need marriage or commitment. Linda even joked about marriage. Then the guy found another girl, and moved out. Linda became the most angry bitter person you ever met. She never really was the same after that.

Guy can deal with this floating relationship a ton easier than woman. They say they don't need commitment, but most of them really want something solid and secure, and while you think it's a safe perfectly fine open relationship, you are actually really harming these women. They are not designed for flings and short relationships.

Well I think women are trying to accomodate these guys who want the the relationship fun but not the relationship itself, women tend to think they can "change" men but it never works. Thats heart break waiting to happen, like Diana said if a man says something believe him, he ain't changin.

 

[Vandalshandle]

I have a feeling it is going the same route as it did then. Great guy, have a blast together, good chemistry.... but ... he has said that he still doesnt feel he "is in a good place" to put in the time a relationship deserves. Which is the issue we had before.

But I enjoy his company and we have fun when we go out so I am good with it for now...

First, I have no idea about you, or him, or your relationship.

But I would warn you of one thing. I've seen this before with other men specifically. It's a man thing.

If you, as woman, are available to him, whenever he wants to go out...... You are basically an unpaid adult escort.

*IF*... I don't know the situation. Just based on what you said right there... you are a call girl that isn't paid.

And here's the kicker. If he knows he can call you up whenever he wants you, and doesn't have to make any commitments, and you'll "go away" until the next time he calls.......

Please don't be mad, I'm just saying what I've seen....

.... He will never "feel he is in a good place to put in the time a relationship deserves"...... when doesn't have to. And right now... he doesn't have to. He can call his call-girl whenever he wants, and enjoy the company of a women when he wants it, and doesn't have to put any time into a real relationship that requires commitment.

And here's the other thing.... as long as you are "with" him whenever he calls for a night out... your chances of finding a man that wants something real.... very low.

Again, don't be mad. Just saying what I have seen. Just a messenger.

Well I wouldnt go as far as to call her an escort per say, but yeah if a man gets to have the same kind of fun you get in a relationship like hanging out, sex etc without actually being commited than yes its a big win for the man, and he will not want to commit, why should he? but if shes fine with it, their good to go I guess.

For men, this is how they see it. But women, it's different. A woman may claim that's all she wants... but that's normally not true.

Many times I've seen it where the woman says she's completely happy with the commitment-less relationship... but then they are miserable.

There's a girl (I'll call her Tammy since she didn't give me permission to share this), and she had exactly this kind of relationship. Tammy hung out with this guy for 3 years. Then, he found someone else. Which if Tammy really believed that a commitment-less relationship was fine... she would have just accepted that and moved on. Instead Tammy had a mental break down, and ended up on anti-depressants and 3 years of counseling.

Another girl (Linda I'll call her), was with another guy for 3 years. They joked about how they didn't need marriage or commitment. Linda even joked about marriage. Then the guy found another girl, and moved out. Linda became the most angry bitter person you ever met. She never really was the same after that.

Guy can deal with this floating relationship a ton easier than woman. They say they don't need commitment, but most of them really want something solid and secure, and while you think it's a safe perfectly fine open relationship, you are actually really harming these women. They are not designed for flings and short relationships.

Well I think women are trying to accomodate these guys who want the the relationship fun but not the relationship itself, women tend to think they can "change" men but it never works. Thats heart break waiting to happen, like Diana said if a man says something believe him, he ain't changin.

Absolutely true. For years, I tried to be the person that the women wanted to change me to. That did not work, so I stopped doing that and made it extremely clear to women that I was not going to change. Take it or leave it. Often, they would agree to that, and then a few years later, decide that i had not become what they wanted, and would break it off. When I would remind them that I had announced back at the very beginning that i was never going to be their grandchild's grandfather, or whatever, they would say, "Yes, and i thought that I could deal with that, but I was wrong". Now, I won't even consider a commitment at all, conditional, or not.

 

[High_Gravity]

I told my ex gf when we first met I was not interested in getting married again, 5 years later we broke up and I asked her why, she said I wanted you to marry me.

 

[Andylusion]

I have a feeling it is going the same route as it did then. Great guy, have a blast together, good chemistry.... but ... he has said that he still doesnt feel he "is in a good place" to put in the time a relationship deserves. Which is the issue we had before.

But I enjoy his company and we have fun when we go out so I am good with it for now...

First, I have no idea about you, or him, or your relationship.

But I would warn you of one thing. I've seen this before with other men specifically. It's a man thing.

If you, as woman, are available to him, whenever he wants to go out...... You are basically an unpaid adult escort.

*IF*... I don't know the situation. Just based on what you said right there... you are a call girl that isn't paid.

And here's the kicker. If he knows he can call you up whenever he wants you, and doesn't have to make any commitments, and you'll "go away" until the next time he calls.......

Please don't be mad, I'm just saying what I've seen....

.... He will never "feel he is in a good place to put in the time a relationship deserves"...... when doesn't have to. And right now... he doesn't have to. He can call his call-girl whenever he wants, and enjoy the company of a women when he wants it, and doesn't have to put any time into a real relationship that requires commitment.

And here's the other thing.... as long as you are "with" him whenever he calls for a night out... your chances of finding a man that wants something real.... very low.

Again, don't be mad. Just saying what I have seen. Just a messenger.

Well I wouldnt go as far as to call her an escort per say, but yeah if a man gets to have the same kind of fun you get in a relationship like hanging out, sex etc without actually being commited than yes its a big win for the man, and he will not want to commit, why should he? but if shes fine with it, their good to go I guess.

For men, this is how they see it. But women, it's different. A woman may claim that's all she wants... but that's normally not true.

Many times I've seen it where the woman says she's completely happy with the commitment-less relationship... but then they are miserable.

There's a girl (I'll call her Tammy since she didn't give me permission to share this), and she had exactly this kind of relationship. Tammy hung out with this guy for 3 years. Then, he found someone else. Which if Tammy really believed that a commitment-less relationship was fine... she would have just accepted that and moved on. Instead Tammy had a mental break down, and ended up on anti-depressants and 3 years of counseling.

Another girl (Linda I'll call her), was with another guy for 3 years. They joked about how they didn't need marriage or commitment. Linda even joked about marriage. Then the guy found another girl, and moved out. Linda became the most angry bitter person you ever met. She never really was the same after that.

Guy can deal with this floating relationship a ton easier than woman. They say they don't need commitment, but most of them really want something solid and secure, and while you think it's a safe perfectly fine open relationship, you are actually really harming these women. They are not designed for flings and short relationships.

Well I think women are trying to accomodate these guys who want the the relationship fun but not the relationship itself, women tend to think they can "change" men but it never works. Thats heart break waiting to happen, like Diana said if a man says something believe him, he ain't changin.

Absolutely true. For years, I tried to be the person that the women wanted to change me to. That did not work, so I stopped doing that and made it extremely clear to women that I was not going to change. Take it or leave it. Often, they would agree to that, and then a few years later, decide that i had not become what they wanted, and would break it off. When I would remind them that I had announced back at the very beginning that i was never going to be their grandchild's grandfather, or whatever, they would say, "Yes, and i thought that I could deal with that, but I was wrong". Now, I won't even consider a commitment at all, conditional, or not.

That's another issue. Women tend to think that they can divorce and find another man who will be their babies daddy, or babies grand daddy.

I have been absolutely stunned at the number of singles ads by women with multiple kids.

What exactly you girls are thinking is beyond me. This is why you get married, and stay married. You will never find some guy that wants to be a father to a dozen kids that don't respect him as father, and he isn't a father too.

I think...... total guess here.... but I think it has something to do with all these pathetic cheezy romance novels and movies, where Sleepless in Seattle find the man of her dreams, and the kids all just accept new-mommy and new-daddy.

Crazy. That old joke "You're not my real daddy!" isn't a joke. It's real life. Step-families normally end up on Jerry Springer, or worse Dr Phil. Just watch those programs, and count the blended families.

 

[Vandalshandle]

My step father walked into a buzz saw, when he married my mother when my two brothers and I were only 7 to 13. Today, looking back, I feel sorry for him.

 

[Andylusion]

My step father walked into a buzz saw, when he married my mother when my two brothers and I were only 7 to 13. Today, looking back, I feel sorry for him.

Oh yeah. My uncle married a chick, and had two kids. He had a third with the chick. The third kid turned out perfectly fine. The other two... total train wreck. All kinds of problems and issues. Nightmare.

 

[Diana1180]

I come from a blended family... my father remarried when I was 11. My mother walked out when my brother and I were very young. He married a lady with a son and daughter of her own. It was actually a very successful blending of the families. We all get along great and are all very close. I know this is not the norm..but not ALL people who get remarried are doomed for failure.

Now... I was divorced at 23. Yes, very young and very short marriage. My daughter was about 2 years old. when we divorced. I have purposely not been in a serious relationship since because I didn't want anyone having to think they have to play dad to my child. Now that she is older (16) it will be easier to date..but I have been out of the game so long.... its frustrating lol.

 

[Andylusion]

I come from a blended family... my father remarried when I was 11. My mother walked out when my brother and I were very young. He married a lady with a son and daughter of her own. It was actually a very successful blending of the families. We all get along great and are all very close. I know this is not the norm..but not ALL people who get remarried are doomed for failure.

Now... I was divorced at 23. Yes, very young and very short marriage. My daughter was about 2 years old. when we divorced. I have purposely not been in a serious relationship since because I didn't want anyone having to think they have to play dad to my child. Now that she is older (16) it will be easier to date..but I have been out of the game so long.... its frustrating lol.

It will be extremely difficult for you now. Most of the men your age will be the screwed up wrecks hooked on porn, which is why they are still 'available'. The good guys are already married, or they are looking for chicks a decade younger than you.

Your best bet is to find a guy 10 years senior. Even then it will be hard. After all these years, you and the guy will both be fairly set in your ways. Trying to merge two people after you have all your life patterns set, will be difficult. That's being nice.

It can be done. But this is why you get married, and stay married.

 

[AquaAthena]

I love the complete independence being single gives me. Friends w/benefits, long distance works out very well for my preferred lifestyle.