Shrinkage- From abused to amused? A peek into psychology..

[Procrustes Stretched]

I am beginning a family counseling program for... .. What do you think of all this?

Thanks for your responses.. I will surely appreciate them.. =)

This is not the kind of place for this kind of issue. There are lots of more serious sites for this kind of embarrasing stuff.

want some reall good advice? leave here and come back with a name change.

 

[JD_2B]

LOL Considering all that is really happening is that you three or four lost and confused folks keep pestering me and playing armchair psychiatrist (my appointment is tomorrow- with a real doctor- but its still incredibly funny just how amazingly smart you people seem to think you are) even though I did not ask for your layman's viewpoint on my situation- only to answer a few simple questions about your thoughts and opinions on how to dress and all that- and YET, all I really do in response is just laugh my ass off.. I think this has FAR less to do with my "need for attention", and much more to do with your own insecurities..

And yes- we have beaten the dead horse up several times over, that I said I was leaving and changed my mind. Big flipping deal- alert the presses for christ sakes.. I admitted that I changed my mind.

Is this ALL you guys have got? That is pah-thetic.. =)

 

[KittenKoder]

Bets on her finding a new doctor on Wed?

 

[Old Rocks]

First, stop looking completely. Until you are happy with yourself you will never be happy with someone else. Focus only on your son and yourself. Nothing good will come if you keep seeking out someone to make you "complete" because that will never happen. People do not complete each other, nor do people make each other happy, they compliment each other.

Second, find things that make you happy which require no one else (except maybe your son). If you cannot find at least one thing that makes you happy without needing someone else there, then you need serious counseling.

A warning before you act on ADVICE from Kittenkodder, she hates sex and isn't real fond of men either. Well to be factual, she doesn't like people much at all.

None of which changes the fact that the advice Kitten gave in this case was spot on. Looking for someone else to fulfill your life will result in finding someone else that has the same level of immaturity.

 

[Kat]

LOL! I am not sure I have seen anyone put their personal life out there like this, asking for input, and then when they don't get the answers they want, they go on the attack.

Wishing you the best of help, JD_2B. I think you're going to need it.

 

[Kat]

Oh and btw...I STILL love Seinfeld!

 

[Dis]

First, stop looking completely. Until you are happy with yourself you will never be happy with someone else. Focus only on your son and yourself. Nothing good will come if you keep seeking out someone to make you "complete" because that will never happen. People do not complete each other, nor do people make each other happy, they compliment each other.

Second, find things that make you happy which require no one else (except maybe your son). If you cannot find at least one thing that makes you happy without needing someone else there, then you need serious counseling.

A warning before you act on ADVICE from Kittenkodder, she hates sex and isn't real fond of men either. Well to be factual, she doesn't like people much at all.

None of which changes the fact that the advice Kitten gave in this case was spot on. Looking for someone else to fulfill your life will result in finding someone else that has the same level of immaturity.

Oh, but we don't pay attention to logic like that. It has no place in a flame fest..

 

[Dis]

LOL! I am not sure I have seen anyone put their personal life out there like this, asking for input, and then when they don't get the answers they want, they go on the attack.

Wishing you the best of help, JD_2B. I think you're going to need it.

She ain't the first, and won't be the last..She just *thinks* she's different.. Still feel sorry for that kid, tho... For a maleto have to grow up with a mother that psycho... Hopefully he can break away when he's older.

 

[JD_2B]

Well, I gotta hand it to some of you- you were half right in some respects-

My therapist is awesome.. He helped me to see things that I was not seeing before. And no I do not seek out attention from men, as a result of immaturity.. He said I am looking for a specific type of man and comparing each man to my dead father who died when I was 9. The therapist said I have had bad relationships mostly because I am emotionally torturing myself in the sense that I put myself "out there" in a way that puts me in an easy position to become a target, and that my feelings of guilt over getting myself in such predicaments also play into that somehow, too.

My son has not been seen, but the therapist said that I am TOO focused on my son's health happiness and well being (Contrary to not being focused at all, you fucking half wits, lol) that there may be a codependency issue going on that needs to be rectified. Apparently there is such a thing as being TOO focused on your kids, or in this sense- allowing your children to rely to heavily on you for emotional support and friendship- (which FYI is not something I have not been fighting with him over for a couple of years- trying desperately to get him involed with more extracurricular activities, so that he CAN have a broader social circle- and also, certain things have been done to fix this in the past year anyways, so I imagine that even that has begun to get sorted out, itself.. But I think there may be more we need to do to make sure that the pattern does not return.. )

Kat was about 15-20% right- Its not that I am not getting the answers I want, in the emotive sense- I am pissed here because I just set myself up to be abused by your minion asshole idiot members of the board who seek out people like me for the purpose of abusing. Duh.. And the answers I want(ed) from you people (specifically because you are strangers, also) were all clearly asked in specific interrogatory format in the Opening Post..

Anyhoo- theres my status update on the therapy. I must say, I am absolutely thrilled with how this is going already, and have some great insights on how to make positive change happen, already. Therapy is not nearly as scary as I thought it would be either. It is healthy and helpful- At least I think it is, but I also made the appointment with free will and all that, too (maybe the people who have to be in therapy involuntarily are really the ones who think the doctors are quacks, lol) and I look forward to next weeks session, also. =)

 

[Dis]

I am pissed here because I just set myself up to be abused by your minion asshole idiot members of the board who seek out people like me for the purpose of abusing. Duh..

Umm.. Nobody here sought you out, Twitzilla. You came here, rememember...

 

[Ravi]

Sounds like the therapy didn't take.

 

[Kat]

Kat was about 15-20% right- Its not that I am not getting the answers I want, in the emotive sense- I am pissed here because I just set myself up to be abused by your minion asshole idiot members of the board who seek out people like me for the purpose of abusing. Duh.. And the answers I want(ed) from you people (specifically because you are strangers, also) were all clearly asked in specific interrogatory format in the Opening Post..

Sorry, but that is absolutely absurd. I read this thread. You were not abused (stop playing the victim - it is very annoying). People were giving you sound advice which YOU seeked, and then you went on the attack, which one can only assume it was due to you not hearing what you wanted to hear, why else would you? And yes, you got it right back after that. So, IMO all the name calling you have done bounces back on the OP...YOU.

 

[JD_2B]

Kat- you and the majority of the others have been fine- The ones I am referring to as abusive have been Kitten (a moderator who apparently feels that her status as a mod gives her the right to abuse) and Alli (a supposed child welfare worker who apparently thinks she is above all women who actually did protect their kids from ever getting harmed in the first place, simply because the idiot cop failed to report her, something he is charged with doing mandatorily)- both of whom have classic signs of being sociopaths.. And not just because of the lack of empathy, but the way that they use their status as an excuse or justification to inflict emotional abuse onto other people.
And Dis said a few snide things, too.. But its really primarily been those three.. nobody else has said anything that was not at least in an attempt to be constructive, rather than destructive.

Kat- you are a nice enough person- but I have always had very high self esteem and am always in touch with how manipulative someone is being towards me, or demeaning- both of which are forms of emotional abuse, and I am only saying this to be clear- but sometimes people who do not have that self esteem, do not recognize verbal abuse as readily as those who do. That is not a cut- that is just an observation..

Furthermore, I did not start calling anyone names, and if you scroll back through the posts (around page 2 or 3 I believe?) you will see who cut whom first.. And that all I do is laugh my ass off and call them out on it, when they do, with a couple of exceptions. =)

 

[Dis]

Kat- you and the majority of the others have been fine- The ones I am referring to as abusive have been Kitten (a moderator who apparently feels that her status as a mod gives her the right to abuse) and Alli (a supposed child welfare worker who apparently thinks she is above all women who actually did protect their kids from ever getting harmed in the first place, simply because the idiot cop failed to report her, something he is charged with doing mandatorily)- both of whom have classic signs of being sociopaths.. And not just because of the lack of empathy, but the way that they use their status as an excuse or justification to inflict emotional abuse onto other people.
And Dis said a few snide things, too.. But its really primarily been those three.. nobody else has said anything that was not at least in an attempt to be constructive, rather than destructive.

Kat- you are a nice enough person- but I have always had very high self esteem and am always in touch with how manipulative someone is being towards me, or demeaning- both of which are forms of emotional abuse, and I am only saying this to be clear- but sometimes people who do not have that self esteem, do not recognize verbal abuse as readily as those who do. That is not a cut- that is just an observation..

Furthermore, I did not start calling anyone names, and if you scroll back through the posts (around page 2 or 3 I believe?) you will see who cut whom first.. And that all I do is laugh my ass off and call them out on it, when they do, with a couple of exceptions. =)

Oh, wah. And hogwash. You brought your personal shit to a brand new forum, and expected people to shower you with sympathy, say all the right things, and tell you it's "them", and not you. When that didn't happen, and people started telling you what they really thought, you took offense, and start throwing shit, with the hopes that none of it would stick to you, and that backfired.

FTR, you should probably be *glad* I didn't tell you exactly what I thought, and I was simply a little "snide". Anyone will tell you I'm *very* good at cutting straight to the bone, and not withholding any punches. Allie actually went mild on your ass in comparison.

As for KK's Mod status, SHE didn't bring her Mod status in to it - YOU did, which is the general tactic of someone who's not liking what they want to hear - they always think that's their ace in the hole. Know what? Here it doesn't hold shit for water, and if you want to keep playing that card, let's just say you haven't met Gunny yet.

You don't like it, keep your personal shit personal - in your own house.

 

[Said1]

I am beginning a family counseling program for my son and I, to help us deal with certain issues we both have as a result of my poor choices in men, primarily.

Generally speaking, being abused gave me trust issues, and my son now seems down in the dumps more and more of the time. His grades are not going up, and I am having a hard time feeling like I can actually have a successful and healthy relationship, and sometimes I feel like I am being too sensitive about things, not with friends- just with new men that I do not find desirable in an emotional way, after a few days or weeks. I know that I am making healthy choices when it comes to "tossing the fish back", lol- but the nagging feeling I keep getting is that some of the mean things these jerks say might be true. Thus, I am going to a shrink to figure out how to spot the jerks before they say these things, and also how to verbalize my disdain towards them, without setting them off. I think that I sometimes act a little too scared when I express myself about certain things- and it may be coming off as needy or clingy- neither of which I am.

In fact, I find it amusing now, that I can actually meet a jerk, and within a week, figure out that he is a jerk, and just be done with it- and not end up in a relationship. It is quite amusing! I laugh with my friends all the time now, about all the crazy shit some of these freaks present me with..

Have you, or anyone you have known, ever been to a post-domestic violence therapy, to kind of regroup, and reorganize your feelings- and maybe try to help to compartmentalize some of the stuff you went through? If so, how was it? What did you learn? If you do not have an experience like this- therapy- but you have some tips on how to act on a first, second, third date, etc.. I am open to suggestions. I am 32 years old, but I feel like a 12 year old when it comes to finding a good healthy man. I really just don't know the first thing as to how to go about doing this.

Where should I go? (not bars- I learned that those are a bad choice)

How should I dress? (I am a C/D cup- is showing a little cleavage okay, or does that convey that I am willing to let him open the bedroom doors too quickly?)

Smile big, little, etc?

What do I look for, appearance- wise?

How will I know right away if he is a "shady character" that should be avoided?

Are there any ways that a man might look at you, or things he might say, that should cause me to want to haul ass?

Are there any ways that he might look at you, or talk to you, that would let you know he is a gent?

How would a normal woman react to a guy asking her out? Giggle like mad, and just say OK, for lack of words, or play it cool, and pitch an idea?

Should talking about sex be off limits in the first week or two? Or how long, anyways?

The 90-day rule- that is important, waiting 90 days for sex, to be treated well, right?

I did read Steve Harvey's "Act like a Lady, Think like a Man"- and it did help somewhat. I am now looking for more details, though.. What do you think of all this?

Thanks for your responses.. I will surely appreciate them.. =)

plentyoffish.com/forums

Your welcome.

 

[☭proletarian☭]

I am beginning a family counseling program for my son and I, to help us deal with certain issues we both have as a result of my poor choices in men, primarily.

Oh, that explains so much, my little anti-lifer neofeminazi.... You like to get beaten and then play the victim. You deserve everything you get if you're that stupid.

 

[William Joyce]

There is definitely an Oprah-flavored, You-Go-Girl, wash-that-man-right-out-of-my-hair, Thelma and Louise cult-current out there that holds

1) Men are Bad
2) Women Are Good
3) Relationship Problems Arise Because of 1) and 2)

It's about as subtle as anything that came out of the 1950's vis a vis women should never work outside the home, etc.

Just reversed.

Whatev.

I'm at least glad to hear you're still interested in finding a man.

Here's generalized advice from a pro-white perspective...

Occidental Observer

Staying single into your 30's and 40's is recipe for isolated misery. The natural order of a healthy American life is to get married. Christians believe this, and correctly. Atheist racialist evolutionists believe this, and correctly. Whatever else motivates you, you should believe this, too. Because it's true...

Marriage can be miserable. I need not go on about this. But it is far superior to the alternative: loneliness, partnerless-ness, family-lessness. On balance, I think studies show that married people are happier and live longer. Human beings need a partner, a family, a sense of the future. Lying in bed every night knowing that your body is the end of the genetic line should be a bracing thought. So kill the thought by getting married and having kids.

I am convinced that some Whites (usually women), disappointed by their inability to find a partner, declare themselves to be homosexual and pair off that way. I'm frustrated by this, partly because I doubt the actual "homosexuality" of these folks.

I'm not pointing fingers here, but maybe Whites of both sexes need to dispense with the notion that they'll marry a matinee idol. You might be happier with a chunky White man with bad eyes who can give you children than another miserable chunky White woman who can't.

The bottom line: wait for the perfect man or woman, and you'll be waiting a long time. Marry someone you can stand, who you can imagine waking up next to every morning. Doesn't sound romantic, I know, but there it is.