JD_2B
Little Vixen
I am beginning a family counseling program for my son and I, to help us deal with certain issues we both have as a result of my poor choices in men, primarily.
Generally speaking, being abused gave me trust issues, and my son now seems down in the dumps more and more of the time. His grades are not going up, and I am having a hard time feeling like I can actually have a successful and healthy relationship, and sometimes I feel like I am being too sensitive about things, not with friends- just with new men that I do not find desirable in an emotional way, after a few days or weeks. I know that I am making healthy choices when it comes to "tossing the fish back", lol- but the nagging feeling I keep getting is that some of the mean things these jerks say might be true. Thus, I am going to a shrink to figure out how to spot the jerks before they say these things, and also how to verbalize my disdain towards them, without setting them off. I think that I sometimes act a little too scared when I express myself about certain things- and it may be coming off as needy or clingy- neither of which I am.
In fact, I find it amusing now, that I can actually meet a jerk, and within a week, figure out that he is a jerk, and just be done with it- and not end up in a relationship. It is quite amusing! I laugh with my friends all the time now, about all the crazy shit some of these freaks present me with..
Have you, or anyone you have known, ever been to a post-domestic violence therapy, to kind of regroup, and reorganize your feelings- and maybe try to help to compartmentalize some of the stuff you went through? If so, how was it? What did you learn? If you do not have an experience like this- therapy- but you have some tips on how to act on a first, second, third date, etc.. I am open to suggestions. I am 32 years old, but I feel like a 12 year old when it comes to finding a good healthy man. I really just don't know the first thing as to how to go about doing this.
Where should I go? (not bars- I learned that those are a bad choice)
How should I dress? (I am a C/D cup- is showing a little cleavage okay, or does that convey that I am willing to let him open the bedroom doors too quickly?)
Smile big, little, etc?
What do I look for, appearance- wise?
How will I know right away if he is a "shady character" that should be avoided?
Are there any ways that a man might look at you, or things he might say, that should cause me to want to haul ass?
Are there any ways that he might look at you, or talk to you, that would let you know he is a gent?
How would a normal woman react to a guy asking her out? Giggle like mad, and just say OK, for lack of words, or play it cool, and pitch an idea?
Should talking about sex be off limits in the first week or two? Or how long, anyways?
The 90-day rule- that is important, waiting 90 days for sex, to be treated well, right?
I did read Steve Harvey's "Act like a Lady, Think like a Man"- and it did help somewhat. I am now looking for more details, though.. What do you think of all this?
Thanks for your responses.. I will surely appreciate them.. =)
Generally speaking, being abused gave me trust issues, and my son now seems down in the dumps more and more of the time. His grades are not going up, and I am having a hard time feeling like I can actually have a successful and healthy relationship, and sometimes I feel like I am being too sensitive about things, not with friends- just with new men that I do not find desirable in an emotional way, after a few days or weeks. I know that I am making healthy choices when it comes to "tossing the fish back", lol- but the nagging feeling I keep getting is that some of the mean things these jerks say might be true. Thus, I am going to a shrink to figure out how to spot the jerks before they say these things, and also how to verbalize my disdain towards them, without setting them off. I think that I sometimes act a little too scared when I express myself about certain things- and it may be coming off as needy or clingy- neither of which I am.
In fact, I find it amusing now, that I can actually meet a jerk, and within a week, figure out that he is a jerk, and just be done with it- and not end up in a relationship. It is quite amusing! I laugh with my friends all the time now, about all the crazy shit some of these freaks present me with..
Have you, or anyone you have known, ever been to a post-domestic violence therapy, to kind of regroup, and reorganize your feelings- and maybe try to help to compartmentalize some of the stuff you went through? If so, how was it? What did you learn? If you do not have an experience like this- therapy- but you have some tips on how to act on a first, second, third date, etc.. I am open to suggestions. I am 32 years old, but I feel like a 12 year old when it comes to finding a good healthy man. I really just don't know the first thing as to how to go about doing this.
Where should I go? (not bars- I learned that those are a bad choice)
How should I dress? (I am a C/D cup- is showing a little cleavage okay, or does that convey that I am willing to let him open the bedroom doors too quickly?)
Smile big, little, etc?
What do I look for, appearance- wise?
How will I know right away if he is a "shady character" that should be avoided?
Are there any ways that a man might look at you, or things he might say, that should cause me to want to haul ass?
Are there any ways that he might look at you, or talk to you, that would let you know he is a gent?
How would a normal woman react to a guy asking her out? Giggle like mad, and just say OK, for lack of words, or play it cool, and pitch an idea?
Should talking about sex be off limits in the first week or two? Or how long, anyways?
The 90-day rule- that is important, waiting 90 days for sex, to be treated well, right?
I did read Steve Harvey's "Act like a Lady, Think like a Man"- and it did help somewhat. I am now looking for more details, though.. What do you think of all this?
Thanks for your responses.. I will surely appreciate them.. =)
