Should White Moms sue for Biracial Baby from Wrong Donor?

[emilynghiem]

OK analyze THIS to death:

Should white mom be paid for brown baby mistake - Houston Chronicle

1. One angle: The company impregnated with the wrong donor and not the one selected, regardless of race:

"They're not saying anything racist, they're not saying we don't want a black baby," Barrow said of Cramblett and Zinkon, who profess their love for their now 2-year-old daughter. "They're saying, we asked for something, you gave us something different, and now we have to adjust to that."

2. Another view: Why should these parents get to sue for compensation/inconvenience that other biracial or black kids and their parents have to deal with:

That "adjustment" is a major justification for Cramblett's lawsuit. It cites the stress and anxiety of raising a brown girl in predominantly white Uniontown, Ohio, which Cramblett describes as intolerant. Some of her own family members have unconscious racial biases, the lawsuit says.

That leads some to believe that Cramblett is asking to be paid for the difficulties that many black folks — and white parents of adopted black children — deal with without compensation.

"I don't think I deserve anything more being the white parent of a black child than any parent of a black child does," says Rory Mullen, who adopted her daughter.

3. Another view: is compensation going to help the parents and daughter adjust, is it going to affect the child adversely concerning racial or social expectations, is it within the parents' rights to sue just because of reason #1 that the company did not use the donor the couple had chosen and failed to meet the contract?

Personally I think dealing with the racial relations is personal and up to the people involved to figure out their spiritual path in handling whatever comes up. I know I would need to rely on faith that there is some positive purpose in this; it would be hard for me to focus if I only resented and regretted this, and would be better able to cope if I aimed for positive goals to explore, especially for the daughter's sake; but that is personal and can only be chosen and worked out by the people themselves.

What do you think?

Are you okay separating the racial issues from the fact the company didn't follow the couple's choices?

Are you okay with the couple being open with others and their child that they didn't want or choose to raise a biracial child and have to deal with the social circumstances that come with it?

If you were in this couple's shoes and felt you didn't get what you paid for,
how would you respond?

 

[Moonglow]

Would have to read the contract...this is trying to deal with this on an emotive issue..
Personally I'd take the kid and get another one, but what they hey.

 

[C_Clayton_Jones]

"Should White Moms sue for Biracial Baby from Wrong Donor?"

A lawsuit is perfectly appropriate where the fertility clinic clearly failed to abide by the contract it had with its client.

 

[Asclepias]

Yes. She specifically requested a white male, blonde with blue eyes, and got a black guy. Her reasoning is valid. She has to find out how to best raise the child and also move to a more racially accepting/diverse community.

 

[emilynghiem]

Yes. She specifically requested a white male, blonde with blue eyes, and got a black guy. Her reasoning is valid. She has to find out how to best raise the child and also move to a more racially accepting/diverse community.

Do you think it could be, that there could be a higher purpose for this child to be born and live there,
to introduce new experiences to this community so that all of them can benefit and grow.

Do you think that would help the family, the girl and the community to adjust,
if more people decided this can be a good thing and to ask everyone's help to handle it better.

 

[Asclepias]

Yes. She specifically requested a white male, blonde with blue eyes, and got a black guy. Her reasoning is valid. She has to find out how to best raise the child and also move to a more racially accepting/diverse community.

Do you think it could be, that there could be a higher purpose for this child to be born and live there,
to introduce new experiences to this community so that all of them can benefit and grow.

Do you think that would help the family, the girl and the community to adjust,
if more people decided this can be a good thing and to ask everyone's help to handle it better.

Thats a good way to look at it. However, the real issue is still going to be the specific care the child needs in a world where she is and will be perceived as a Black child. Hair care is a major thing. Her self esteem living around all whites etc.

 

[emilynghiem]

Yes. She specifically requested a white male, blonde with blue eyes, and got a black guy. Her reasoning is valid. She has to find out how to best raise the child and also move to a more racially accepting/diverse community.

Do you think it could be, that there could be a higher purpose for this child to be born and live there,
to introduce new experiences to this community so that all of them can benefit and grow.

Do you think that would help the family, the girl and the community to adjust,
if more people decided this can be a good thing and to ask everyone's help to handle it better.

Thats a good way to look at it. However, the real issue is still going to be the specific care the child needs in a world where she is and will be perceived as a Black child. Hair care is a major thing. Her self esteem living around all whites etc.

Yes, I didn't realize the politics of hair until I saw a short film that covered this and couldn't believe it when I first heard it.

When I look at pictures of Beyonce and how her photos and image
are carefully crafted, comparing before and after photos of her darker and lighter complexions,
I understand the criticism of her and also understand you have to "play" to the market audience to succeed in a media business that is based on marketing the image and not the real person.
Like how Ryan Gosling and others changed their noses, that's part of the professional costs.

I have been in theatre, and understand that's part of the costume to play the part that people want to see and believe. Still I prefer costume changes that are "temporary" and not a permanent change, that would drive me nuts! (I think if you saw pictures of me, looking completely pissed I agreed to cake on stage makeup and do my hair, you would laugh.)

I much prefer to work on an intellectual level where the point is to be as transparent as possible. I still have to learn "how to say things" using terms that people need and want to hear to understand. But the content can't be compromised, it still has to be the right message.

So with this girl, as long as it is the real her, that should not be compromised.
Playing nice, and going along with "what other people need" to be comfortable
and social is part of learning to participate in society.

I hope they find a balance, and learn to find joy in the challenges.

I struggle every day to fit in, and just when I feel like giving up, like an alien
on a foreign planet who longs to go home and hide,
someone reaches out and tells me they like the fact I am different
and don't think like other people.

I hope this girl and her parents and family find that same support
that makes it all the more meaningful and precious when it is found.

I guess we all go through this in different ways,
there is some part of us that doesn't fit in that we all have to struggle with!

I hope they find more commonality, that all people have areas of
absolute struggle that we wish we could change but it makes us who we are.

I fight that every day, and still fuss like a five-year-old kid over it!
Well, maybe an eight-year-old, since I've grown a little....

 

[longly]

I concur, one should get what one pays for; if she paid for blue eyes and blond hair that would be what she should get..

 

[Taz]

Good luck finding the black father and getting him to take some responsibility.

 

[jwoodie]

Nearly all White women change the appearance of their hair, so why shouldn't Black women?

 

[Asclepias]

Good luck finding the black father and getting him to take some responsibility.

You must have a hard time understanding the concept of a sperm bank.

 

[Taz]

She could sue for having a lower IQ baby. And the natty hair has to worth some compensation for sure, just think of all the money black women spend to get rid of that look.

 

[jwoodie]

She could sue for having a lower IQ baby. And the natty hair has to worth some compensation for sure, just think of all the money black women spend to get rid of that look.

Apparently, you have some experience dealing with a lower IQ. Thanks for sharing.

 

[Taz]

She could sue for having a lower IQ baby. And the natty hair has to worth some compensation for sure, just think of all the money black women spend to get rid of that look.

Apparently, you have some experience dealing with a lower IQ. Thanks for sharing.

Gee, how original. What are you, like 6 years old?

 

[High_Gravity]

OK analyze THIS to death:

Should white mom be paid for brown baby mistake - Houston Chronicle

1. One angle: The company impregnated with the wrong donor and not the one selected, regardless of race:

"They're not saying anything racist, they're not saying we don't want a black baby," Barrow said of Cramblett and Zinkon, who profess their love for their now 2-year-old daughter. "They're saying, we asked for something, you gave us something different, and now we have to adjust to that."

2. Another view: Why should these parents get to sue for compensation/inconvenience that other biracial or black kids and their parents have to deal with:

That "adjustment" is a major justification for Cramblett's lawsuit. It cites the stress and anxiety of raising a brown girl in predominantly white Uniontown, Ohio, which Cramblett describes as intolerant. Some of her own family members have unconscious racial biases, the lawsuit says.

That leads some to believe that Cramblett is asking to be paid for the difficulties that many black folks — and white parents of adopted black children — deal with without compensation.

"I don't think I deserve anything more being the white parent of a black child than any parent of a black child does," says Rory Mullen, who adopted her daughter.

3. Another view: is compensation going to help the parents and daughter adjust, is it going to affect the child adversely concerning racial or social expectations, is it within the parents' rights to sue just because of reason #1 that the company did not use the donor the couple had chosen and failed to meet the contract?

Personally I think dealing with the racial relations is personal and up to the people involved to figure out their spiritual path in handling whatever comes up. I know I would need to rely on faith that there is some positive purpose in this; it would be hard for me to focus if I only resented and regretted this, and would be better able to cope if I aimed for positive goals to explore, especially for the daughter's sake; but that is personal and can only be chosen and worked out by the people themselves.

What do you think?

Are you okay separating the racial issues from the fact the company didn't follow the couple's choices?

Are you okay with the couple being open with others and their child that they didn't want or choose to raise a biracial child and have to deal with the social circumstances that come with it?

If you were in this couple's shoes and felt you didn't get what you paid for,
how would you respond?

Legally they can, they requested white sperm and did not recieve that, a black couple would be equally outraged if they recieved white sperm or asian sperm and specificially wanted Black.

 

[Asclepias]

She could sue for having a lower IQ baby. And the natty hair has to worth some compensation for sure, just think of all the money black women spend to get rid of that look.

You must know this from previous experience considering how low your IQ must be. I wonder who spends the most money? White women trying to get a tan or Black women trying to straighten their hair?

 

[Ernie S.]

Is this going to be total spent or are we going to consider percentages again?
I's bet that between straightening, weaves and braiding, the average black woman spends more than the average white woman spends on tanning.

 

[Asclepias]

Is this going to be total spent or are we going to consider percentages again?
I's bet that between straightening, weaves and braiding, the average black woman spends more than the average white woman spends on tanning.

We are only talking about straightening. If you want to add other things I can add booty injections, lip injections, and purchase of rap music etc on your side of the wager.

 

[Ernie S.]

What do booty injections, lip injections, and purchase of rap music have to do with hair? I guess we can add "idiot" to your side of the equation.

 

[Asclepias]

What do booty injections, lip injections, and purchase of rap music have to do with hair? I guess we can add "idiot" to your side of the equation.

The same thing suntans had to do with hair but you had no problem with that. My guess is you must be feeling like you are going to lose the wager. If you want to throw random things in lets minus the number of Black women that straighten their hair simply because Black hair styles are known to be a sure reason to keep you from getting a job or fired from one.