Seeing Red, Feeling Blue By Abe Aamidor firstname.lastname@example.org November 13, 2004 Were you blue or red this past election? National media and politicos determined that each of the 50 states was either Republican red or Democratic blue or leaning that way based primarily on their notions of conservatives and liberals and those in between. While Indiana was red, of course, that doesn't mean every Hoosier is conservative. Most of us, in fact, probably don't fit neatly into a camp. Take this simple quiz and guess which color you'd be painted. Of course, this exercise is totally unscientific. 1. You've just learned that the Bush tax cuts are permanent. What do you do? A) Nothing -- all your money is in tax-exempt municipal bonds anyway. B) Treat yourself to weekend at a health spa. C) Get the air-conditioning in your old Olds Cutlass fixed. 2. The only things on TV tonight are a NASCAR race, a "Frontline" special on PBS, a stock market analysis on CNBC, and "Hoosier Millionaire." Which two shows do you watch? A) NASCAR and Hoosier Millionaire. B) Frontline and NASCAR. C) CNBC and Frontline. 3. You've been invited to a gay wedding. What do you do? A) Accept the invitation, attend and enjoy. B) Make up some excuse; you don't go. C) You come out of the closet yourself. 4. Where are you going on your next vacation? A) Branson, Mo. B) Paris, France. C) Cairo, Ill. 5. Your car needs servicing. Where do you take it? A) Firestone. B) The Audi dealer. C) You fix it yourself. 6. Which of the following is standard English usage? A) "I have never seen such a magnificent steed before." B) "I never seen a horse like that before." C) "You talkin' to me? Well I'm the only one here." 7. It's Sunday morning. Where do you go? A) Back to sleep. B) To church. C) Out for brunch. 8.Those Midwestern winters are something else. What should you wear? A) Burberry's trench coat. B) Eddie Bauer down parka. C) Carhartt duck cloth jacket. 9. It's time to renew your magazine subscriptions. What do you read? A) Guns & Ammo and Inside Basketball. B) Saturday Evening Post and Reader's Digest. C) Mother Jones and Architectural Digest. 10. Your neighbor tells you that she "home schools" her daughter. What do you think she means? A) It's something like detention; she's been suspended. B) She's teaching her to sew, cook and clean. That's nice. C) She follows a state-prescribed curriculum and teaches her child at home. 11. You're flipping through some vintage records at a flea market. Which one do you buy? A) "Lost Highway" by Hank Williams B) "I'm a Tiger" by Fabian C) "Blowin' in the Wind" by Bob Dylan 12. Your son just enlisted. Your reaction? A) Make an appointment for him with a psychiatrist. B) Pop open a couple of Bud Lights. C) Support him the best way you know how. Red State: 1. C, 2. A, 3. B, 4. A, 5. C, 6. B, 7. B, 8. C, 9. A, 10. C, 11. A, 12. C Blue State: 1. B, 2. C, 3. A, 4. B, 5. B, 6. A, 7. C, 8. B, 9. C, 10. A, 11. C, 12. C Swing State: Any other answer or 50-50 split!