Secularists vs Traditionalists

[PoliticalChic]

LMAO----are we getting serious now ? and what do you mean weird ???

Hey, I'm the one interrogating here!

Now answer the question.

ok ok---did the one night stand with the drunken ugly women turn me on ? Probably.
but I did feel bad the next morning . guilty and everything

Now that wasn't so bad was it?

I'll untie you when I get back...

 

[dilloduck]

Hey, I'm the one interrogating here!

Now answer the question.

ok ok---did the one night stand with the drunken ugly women turn me on ? Probably.
but I did feel bad the next morning . guilty and everything

Now that wasn't so bad was it?

I'll untie you when I get back...

HELP --------anyone !!!!!!!!

 

[RodISHI]

A family-oriented magazine that calls itself "The NYC Parents' Guide to Culture & Entertainment," in one fell swoop, saddened, disappointed, and outraged me with their "Family Portrait." Prior to this issue, the articles didn't contain material that couldn't be discussed in front of children.

For those of you who believe that the culture war doesn't exist, here's a-priori evidence that it does. In addition to the two steps I've taken: 1) discarding the magazine and 2) writing a letter to the editor, help me relieve my frustration. Are there any other suggestions? And please don't tell me to get over it.

Family portrait
The Cavanahs, Park Slope

Tom Ackerman, Claire Cavanah, and Quill Cavanah, 3

Claire Cavanah, 44, was raised in Casper, Wyoming, by a widowed Republican father who never discussed sex. In 1993, she cofounded the feminist sex shop Babeland in Seattle; five years later, she moved to New York City and expanded the business. Today, Babeland has three locations in Manhattan and Brooklyn. Cavanah’s three-year-old son, Quill—conceived with a generous donation from a friend, Tom Ackerman—loves a good vibrator.

How did you come up with the idea for Babeland?
I was in Seattle in the early ’90s, and my friend Rachel Venning and I wanted to start a business. We talked about opening a coffeeshop, but I didn’t want to clean up after people. Rachel saw some lube on my table, and I told her I had gotten a gift certificate to a sex store. I didn’t like the lube or the store, and we realized we could create a sex place that people would want to come to. It was a eureka moment, and we’re still following it. We want a Babeland dildo on every nightstand.

You come from a small town. How does your family feel about your choices: a sex store and single parenthood?
My dad was waiting for me to do something spectacular. I went to Putney, a private boarding school in Vermont, and I had a great undergrad education at Brown. But when I told him what I wanted, the conversation got out of control. We didn’t talk for a year.

Has Dad come around?
Yes. The Soho store was the first he visited. When we were mentioned in O magazine in 2006, it confirmed our legitimacy for him. Now he calls us a “small business”; and because of that, he says, I should become a Republican. That’s not going to happen.

If you could change something about our culture in regard to sex, what would it be?I would change the laws. You can’t come into Babeland without a legal guardian if you’re younger than 18. I would allow 15- and 16-year-olds to come in and get straight talk about sex. I wish we could have a BabelandKids, like GapKids, for teenagers.

What are you most proud of?
When we first got here, Mayor Giuliani was trying to zone the sex stores. He didn’t want them within 500 feet of a house of worship, a school or residences. We broke all those rules. We had tenants living upstairs, a temple across the street, a middle school nearby. In spite of all that, we’ve become a house brand in New York. Zagat gave us an award for customer service. We beat out Bloomingdale’s and Van Cleef & Arpels!

Does Quill know what Mommy does for a living?
I plan to introduce him to it. I don’t want to keep my domestic and professional lives separate. That would be untenable and crazy.

Do you ever take Quill to work?
I did once, to the Park Slope store, and he was playing in the window. People on the street took out their iPhones and started taking pictures. Next thing I knew it was on Gawker.

Oy.
Yeah. I want to protect him from this prurient interest in what I do. I have to help him be the kid whose mom owns a store that sells penises.

The school teasing is going to be a bitch.
It’s gonna happen. My fervent wish is that we’ll have the kind of relationship that he will tell me. If we have a strong enough bond, he can come home and find sanctuary in that. Maybe I can make a Faustian bargain at that moment that our culture will really change, and he’ll be the coolest kid in school.

Maybe he’ll become a Republican.
ROTC, I know. That’s my fate—he’s going with Granddaddy into the Navy.

Has Quill ever found your toys at home?
He has two vibrators as toys, the G-Spotter and the Laya Spot. It’s a microphone to him. He’s a bit of a performer and sings into the vibrator. Hey, Tickle Me Elmo is a vibrator. I believe vibration is like a force of life: When you sing, you’re vibrating.

Tell me about your sperm donor.
Tom is from my hometown, and I reconnected with him in New York. Quill and I hang out with him once a week. Quill calls him Tom, but he is just now getting the fact that he’s his dad. I do 100 percent of the parenting, though.

Was the fertilization process difficult?
No. I got pregnant really fast. I did it punk-rock style in my house, with a little syringe and nice music. I did everything the books told me. I had orgasms and it was great. I felt like I was transforming my whole life.

One more question. Do you ever lie about what you do for a living?
Only on a plane when I don’t want to talk to the person for five hours. Other than that, I tell anyone. It isn’t worth the obfuscation. But on a plane, I say I have a bookstore.

–Susan Avery

Family portrait - Time Out New York Kids

How many family magazines comparable to this one are in print?

 

[Sky Dancer]

Family values are values that are specific to each family. This is an unusual family with values out of the mainstream breaking alot of barriers-- single motherhood, a feminist owner of 'Babeland' and a part-time, sperm donor dad. No wonder you're shocked.

With three stores, she should definitely become a Republican. Her dad is right.

 

[Ravi]

I'm not quite getting why anyone would share something called a Parent's Guide with their kids.

Such fauxrage! Enjoyed your little S&M discussion, PC. I guess I can't let my daughter read this message board anymore.

 

[jillian]

I'm not quite getting why anyone would share something called a Parent's Guide with their kids.

Such fauxrage! Enjoyed your little S&M discussion, PC. I guess I can't let my daughter read this message board anymore.

I always find it amazing when people think adult reading, viewing and listening material should be made child appropriate. I think I'm pretty capable of deciding what I want to read about and what I don't. And I'm capable of keeping what my son reads appropriate for him.

Ah well...

 

[editec]

What can YOU do about it?

What makes you feel that you must do anything at all?

Is the existence of this goofy store a threat to your or yours?

Please explain why you care.

Seriously, I am confused about what is upsetting you.

 

[midcan5]

I have to agree with this woman's worldview and view on sexual knowledge. The people I know who have the least hangups about sex are those with open minds and an understanding of sex in both its intrinsic biologic nature and its psychological power. I am part of a large family and have seen all approaches and openness is best. Consider that most sexual deviants come from so called normal families, that requires either depravity is inherent or experience related. I remember once going through vcr tapes our boys used and finding much porn. Never said a thing and they are good married fathers today. More to life than weirdness and weirdness requires others thing. Sex is magic if done right and shouldn't be surrounded by idiocy.

 

[dilloduck]

I have to agree with this woman's worldview and view on sexual knowledge. The people I know who have the least hangups about sex are those with open minds and an understanding of sex in both its intrinsic biologic nature and its psychological power. I am part of a large family and have seen all approaches and openness is best. Consider that most sexual deviants come from so called normal families, that requires either depravity is inherent or experience related. I remember once going through vcr tapes our boys used and finding much porn. Never said a thing and they are good married fathers today. More to life than weirdness and weirdness requires others thing. Sex is magic if done right and shouldn't be surrounded by idiocy.

Did y'all use didoes as pacifiers too ? How many butt plugs did you have for pets ?

 

[Said1]

I thought everything was ok until the dildo part. In any case, I'm sure a lot of parents find that although they have done a decent job raising their kids, they have also made some mistakes. I'm sure (I hope!) this will be one of them. Either way, I'm sure it'll be addressed in future therapy sessions.

 

[Sky Dancer]

I have to agree with this woman's worldview and view on sexual knowledge. The people I know who have the least hangups about sex are those with open minds and an understanding of sex in both its intrinsic biologic nature and its psychological power. I am part of a large family and have seen all approaches and openness is best. Consider that most sexual deviants come from so called normal families, that requires either depravity is inherent or experience related. I remember once going through vcr tapes our boys used and finding much porn. Never said a thing and they are good married fathers today. More to life than weirdness and weirdness requires others thing. Sex is magic if done right and shouldn't be surrounded by idiocy.

Did y'all use didoes as pacifiers too ? How many butt plugs did you have for pets ?

Are you usually this crude?

 

[dilloduck]

I have to agree with this woman's worldview and view on sexual knowledge. The people I know who have the least hangups about sex are those with open minds and an understanding of sex in both its intrinsic biologic nature and its psychological power. I am part of a large family and have seen all approaches and openness is best. Consider that most sexual deviants come from so called normal families, that requires either depravity is inherent or experience related. I remember once going through vcr tapes our boys used and finding much porn. Never said a thing and they are good married fathers today. More to life than weirdness and weirdness requires others thing. Sex is magic if done right and shouldn't be surrounded by idiocy.

Did y'all use didoes as pacifiers too ? How many butt plugs did you have for pets ?

Are you usually this crude?

Are you usually this unable to see how this relates to the OP ?
I can be plenty open about sexuality but I draw lines------kids playing with sex toys and hanging out in sex toy stores is over my line. Or are you one of those "open minded" types who thinks kids are just little people and should be exposed to everything adults are ?

 

[Sky Dancer]

Did y'all use didoes as pacifiers too ? How many butt plugs did you have for pets ?

Are you usually this crude?

Are you usually this unable to see how this relates to the OP ?
I can be plenty open about sexuality but I draw lines------kids playing with sex toys and hanging out in sex toy stores is over my line. Or are you one of those "open minded" types who thinks kids are just little people and should be exposed to everything adults are ?

I think kids ought to be with their mothers when their baby sitting falls through. I see no harm in this child being with his mother at her store sometimes.

This woman's store is not a traditional sex industry business--the owner is a feminist and the store caters to women.

 

[Procrustes Stretched]

What part of "The NYC Parents' Guide to Culture & Entertainment," did you miss? The part about 'Parents'' or Culture & Entertainment'?

Why would all the articles in a parent's magazine need to be discussed with the children? Are you tutoring child parents?

A family-oriented magazine that calls itself "The NYC Parents' Guide to Culture & Entertainment," in one fell swoop, saddened, disappointed, and outraged me with their "Family Portrait." Prior to this issue, the articles didn't contain material that couldn't be discussed in front of children.

For those of you who believe that the culture war doesn't exist, here's a-priori evidence that it does. In addition to the two steps I've taken: 1) discarding the magazine and 2) writing a letter to the editor, help me relieve my frustration. Are there any other suggestions? And please don't tell me to get over it.

Family portrait
The Cavanahs, Park Slope

Tom Ackerman, Claire Cavanah, and Quill Cavanah, 3

Family portrait - Time Out New York Kids

 

[Procrustes Stretched]

I feel that the atmosphere that this child is FORCED to grow up in is not conducive to a healthy upbringing. Imagine it this way: A normal child may walk by this store and see one in a window, but this little boy is given one as a toy.

Is this the kind of toy you gave your kid when he was 3?

Every child is forced to grow up in an atmosphere. I agree with the poster above that this is weird, and not the way that I would go about it, but I don't know that it is really that bad. I don't think the kid is probably harmed by this. It is just... weird.

Let me clarify further. I was p_ssed that a child-family centered magazine featured a lesbian woman who had a child out of wedlock. This woman owns sexshops which I don't object to, but she thinks it's perfectly ok for her own child and those of others to wander around the store discussing sex and in fact yearns for the day when younger teenagers can come to her store so that she can inform them about "truth" which I believe is several standard deviations from the norm. In addition she allows her child to play with dildos. It's not just the kid playing with adult sex toys. It's the constellation of her behavior, views, and devil-may-care attitude.

Hey, look on the bright side. The kid will most likely become a celibate Christian when it rebels against mommy.

 

[Sky Dancer]

For those you who have never visited a feminist sex shop, think fun brightly-lit store, minus sketchy people and plus super knowledgeable (and usually feminist-minded) employees. Think sex-positive. Think products made with women in mind, for a whole spectrum of sexualities and identities. Think packaging without playmate-like models on every toy, and toys that are safe to use and good for our bodies. These places make talking about vibrator choices as unembarassing as picking out a toothbrush.
Can't get enough of those feminist sex shops... - Feministing

Here's another:

There are even sex shops just for Christians--it's called 'mybelovedgarden' another one is called book22
http://sexuality.about.com/od/sextoys/ht/sex_shop.htm

 

[PoliticalChic]

I have to agree with this woman's worldview and view on sexual knowledge. The people I know who have the least hangups about sex are those with open minds and an understanding of sex in both its intrinsic biologic nature and its psychological power. I am part of a large family and have seen all approaches and openness is best. Consider that most sexual deviants come from so called normal families, that requires either depravity is inherent or experience related. I remember once going through vcr tapes our boys used and finding much porn. Never said a thing and they are good married fathers today. More to life than weirdness and weirdness requires others thing. Sex is magic if done right and shouldn't be surrounded by idiocy.

Separate and apart from the total morons who have responded in this thread, I'm disappointed that so many educated and intelligent members of this board continue to live the "60's," where self-actualization is more important than any obligations to society, and to the young that they have brought into this world. This individual in this article, cerrtainly not a lady, personifies so many single mothers, so many who live in the moment, doing whatever feels good, rather than giving the due respect to the values and traditions that have nurtured society for so long. Perhaps there is no G-d, no afterlife, or even no absolutes, but that does not give one the right to abrogate our obligations to our children.

I believe sexuality should be revealed like peeling the layers off an onion, not like Heather Has Two Mommies imposed on kindergarteners or vibrators given as toys for a 3 year old. Perhaps if there was a loving committed husband with an alternative view, he might be able to put the brakes on this kind of behavior.

But rather than conjecture on the upbringing of the child, in a committed married relationship. Here are some of the cold hard facts:

The single most important indicator that a child will end up in prison is to have that child be raised by a single mother. The majority of juvenile rapists and murderers come from single mother homes.

So you secularists, still believe that raising a child in a single mother home is acceptable?

The majority of those children having babies as teenagers, dropping out of school, and committing suicide were raised by single mothers.

Runaways, junvenile delinquents, and child murderers, the same.

Still can't budge you from your progressive opinion? It's pretty clear that your opinion is based on feeling, and not on knowing.

How about insisting that young girls be sexually promiscuous? Good idea? Chances are good if they are raised by a single mother.

And let's make sure that as adolescents that they are substance abusers as well: single mother homes.

So here's my point. I totally disagree with this woman's lifestyle, but I am also upset that what used to be a family friendly traditionalist magazine is now supporting this bizarre environment for this child. Woe betide us.

 

[Sky Dancer]

Woe betide us?

Consider yourself more educated now since you've read the article than you were before, and stop your subscription to the magazine if you can't stand it's content.

There is a poster here who wants to lock all those citizens whose morals he disagrees with in prison. I think you may have common cause with the poster named Sunni Man.

 

[PoliticalChic]

Woe betide us?

Consider yourself more educated now since you've read the article than you were before, and stop your subscription to the magazine if you can't stand it's content.

There is a poster here who wants to lock all those citizens whose morals he disagrees with in prison. I think you may have common cause with the poster named Sunni Man.

You are of course the perfect example of the secular progressive that makes totally false claims. Could you please find anything in my post that suggests locking anybody up. You probably never heard of this, but it is called creating a strawman. Do you feel more educated now?

I notice that you were unable to argue any of the points that I did make. Was that by choice or inability?

 

[Sky Dancer]

Woe betide us?

Consider yourself more educated now since you've read the article than you were before, and stop your subscription to the magazine if you can't stand it's content.

There is a poster here who wants to lock all those citizens whose morals he disagrees with in prison. I think you may have common cause with the poster named Sunni Man.

You are of course the perfect example of the secular progressive that makes totally false claims. Could you please find anything in my post that suggests locking anybody up. You probably never heard of this, but it is called creating a strawman. Do you feel more educated now?

I notice that you were unable to argue any of the points that I did make. Was that by choice or inability?

I don't agree with your Henny Penny the sky is falling hysteria over a magazine article. Is that clear enough for you? My point is that you and the poster Sunni Man have views in common.