Score one for Fathers/Men

Discussion in 'Current Events' started by dmp, Jul 14, 2004.

  1. dmp
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    dmp Senior Member

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    From FoxNews.com

    I have several major annoyances in life. Speed-enforcement, lane discipline, and How badly the 'father' gets screwed by the state if/when a divorce happens, and child support is to be paid. If my wife and I were to seperate, and she was awarded full custody of my kids, I'd likely be out over $1000 a month in 'child support' to their mother.

    a THOUSAND DOLLARS a month...wow. Let's break it down:

    Housing:

    Assuming she'd rent an appartment, the difference between a 1 bedroom place (which she'd have to rent anyway, if she had no custody) and a three bedroom place = $400. Since they are HER kids two, Cut that in half:

    Housing costs + half of increased utilities= $250/month
    Food = $200 -
    Clothes = ($500 year/12/2) $21

    That leaves $500+/month for the ex-wife to blow on a car payment...or anything. The extint to which the father of the kids gets jacked beyond reason nausiates me; Why aren't "Men's Rights Group" picketing; lobbying to change laws?

    There are guys out there who give the bitch Thousands and thousands of dollars per month; the woman lives in luxury, using 75% of that 'CHILD' support for HER housing, fashion, cars, etc.

    Blah..

    Anywho, it's GREAT to read about at least ONE Guy (who wasn't even the father) have things go right.

    :)

    Please drive thru.
     
  2. freeandfun1
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    freeandfun1 VIP Member

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    I got a girl pregnant in high school and her mother wouldn't let me see her. Since my "girlfriend" was a minor, her mother convinced her to sign over rights to her. I objected, but being young and poor, I didn't know what to do. I ended up joining the Army when I was 17 and I always tried to keep in touch. I would send letters, etc. but would never get a reply (at this point I understood as she was still very young). After being in the Army a while and learning more about what my rights were, I had JAG file a petition for me to have visitation rights. Boy, was that a mistake. At this point, my daughter is already 6. So in reply to my petition for visitation rights, I get a bill from the state for $25,200 in back child support plus interest. the total amount was nearly $45,000. I am then told, if I want to see my daughter, I have to pony up all the back child support that had accrued (even though it was never court ordered or even asked for). So basically, I was told, pay up, go to jail, or give up your parental rights.

    There wasn't much of a choice and I had to give up my parental rights. It bothered me, but frankly, I didn't know her and it was obvious I was never going to get to know her so I figured it was the best route to go. I regret it some days and others I don't. It was a tuff decision but one that I feel I was forced to make by the system.
    and then about 5 years later, my military pay started being short about $350 a month. Seems like the mother went and filed for child support against me while denying me the chance to see my child (when I would be home she NEVER would allow me to see her). Now that I was a little more mature and knowledgable, I went to JAG and they filed a petition on my behalf trying to force visitation.
     
  3. lilcountriegal
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    lilcountriegal Senior Member

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    Thats pretty screwed up free. If you signed over your paternal rights, they should not be allowed to force you to pay support.

    Im on the other end of the spectrum, I receive child support. I agree that the system is biased toward the mother in most cases. I once had a boyfriend who had to pay almost half of his monthly income out in child support and kept trying to get another job to cover it, and she'd go for an increase due to the new job and get it. Its nuts. There should be some kind of happy medium somewhere. I dont receive much support, I could probably get a couple hundred more a month (which I definitely need), but I opt out just because my daughter's father and I get along well now, I wouldnt want to tarnish that for her.

    Darin... I completely agree with your post, except the part that leaves her $500 for car payment, etc. According to "the law" child support is to cover everything from food, shelter, electricity, clothing, to car payments. I believe they look at all of those things as a necessity in the upbringing of a child.
     
  4. dmp
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    dmp Senior Member

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    I listed the neccissities of upbringing - Food, Shelter, Clothes, I could have listed health-care insurance.

    I understand that the $ is 'only supposed to go for the child' but that is completely un-inforceable, imo. What I see is the Mother having Custody - and the FATHER paying 100% for the child's 'neccessities'. I guarantee my wife and I don't invest $1000/month into our kids.

    If the Mother has custody, she should pay for excactly HALF of what the kid needs - The most obvious abuse of a declaration of needs is 'clothes'. Hell, I doubt we spend $500 a year on clothes for both our kids; God Bless older Cousins of theirs. :)

    A car payment for my wife isn't neccessary to raise kids. HALF a car payment, or the amount of the difference between a sedan and a wagon, maybe...but $500 gets her a $30,000 car.

    :bs: to that :)


    Some ppl argue a kid needs $100+ a month for clothes...wow.

    Anywho - I'm all bent out of shape, I know; but like Traffic law enforcement, this topics brings my blood to a boil.

    hehe :)
     
  5. freeandfun1
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    freeandfun1 VIP Member

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    to clarify, initially I didn't give up my rights the mother did to her mother. but then her mother would always have an excuse for why I could not see "her" daughter. Sometimes she would even come out and just say, "I don't want you around her".

    She had never applied for Child Support. It wasn't until I went to court to get visitation rights that she replied with a suit against me for back child support. She didn't need it nor had she ever asked fori it, it was her way of blackmailing me. As long as I didn't get the courts involved, she wasn't worried about CS. But once I sued to see my child, she used it. That is why the bill was so much.

    Anyways, we have a relationship today and she has a child so I guess I am a very young GP. As much as we try, we haven't been able to get that close but time will take care of that I am sure.
     
  6. dilloduck
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    dilloduck Diamond Member

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    Damn--you hit MY pet peeve here! I filed for divorce from my wife and was in postion to have full custody with standard visitation. I was also entitled to $500 child support since I was the main caretaker of the child (basically a role reversal deal) In the interest of my son, I only asked for the minimal child support and made sure that he was with his mother 50% of the time. She kept the house and I found an apartment .
    While looking for a job to support my self and my son 50% of the time, my ex sued me to have all my child support taken away and won because I didn't have a job yet! I got to pay attorney fees also!
    She again to me to court the following year (in spite of legal agreements to mediate) and due to Texas law, I was now required to pay HER child support even though I had voluntarily given her thousands for expenses for my son !
    Worst part was that she didn't even initiate the suit! It "popped up " on some computer that showed that no one was paying support to the other and a warrant was automatically issue against ME. She took advantage of it and the rest is history.

    What a totally fucked up sexist system that does more to promote animosity than care for the child.
     
  7. lilcountriegal
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    lilcountriegal Senior Member

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    The laws definitely need rewritten somewhere. But where is that fine line? I think sometimes people forget that this is for the kids and one person just tries to "screw" the other. In the case of my ex-boyfriend, he was paying over $500 a month for one child... he drove around in a company truck and couldnt afford a car payment along with a house payment. His ex was driving around in a brand spankin new SUV with nice jewelry, etc. Those kids would have been "taken care of" had she been driving around in a tiny little Neon.

    BUT... on the other spectrum... when I got divorced years ago, my ex husband filed for spousal support when I was making $12,000 a year and won. I was the "sole breadwinner" (he failed to mention his pension check he received for close to $100,000) so I was ordered to pay him $100 a month. His defense: he was an alcoholic who suffered from an anxiety disorder and was unable to work so he needed me to support him.

    The whole thing is BS. Unfortunately, I dont foresee any reasonable way to fix the system.
     
  8. freeandfun1
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    freeandfun1 VIP Member

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    yep. i am a proud texan, but that state's system is the one that screwed me up too.
     
  9. dilloduck
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    dilloduck Diamond Member

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    Lawyers don't want it fixed. It's thier bread and butter. Can you imagine how much money could have gone to the kids instead of having to pay the lawyers ???
     
  10. dmp
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    dmp Senior Member

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    Validation and justification expense reports - each month, the person receiving support payments annotates and justifies EVERY expenditure over $50 on a form - when the form is validated by an impartial party, the person paying writes the check. :)
     

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