Saturday night sex thread

Lumpy seems to have abdicated his responsibility, so I'll start.
What advice do the ladies and gentlemen at USMB have for a woman who has been out of circulation for 7 years (and untouched by human hands for nearly five) upon re-entry to the world?
Assume that she is:
dumb as a post
not in as much of a hurry as one would think
and this is important:
already well aware of the grooming required once that "special day" arrives.

Okay, it'a after closing time so I can take a couple minutes on this one before I gotta head to the house.

Advice?
Be cool. Take it slow. Don't try to rush anything.

After my divorce, I was in no hurry.
Swore off women, almost entirely, and focused on me.

Then, one day, BAM!!!
:redface:
17 years, next month :cool:
 
I think this whole type of thread is someone else's area:eusa_eh:

This one doesn't seem as fun. Syren started a fun one. Lets all move over there.

LOL...what thread did i start????

But first a few questions.

Are you asking about getting back into the sex
or are you asking about how to start into the new relationship area?


They are two totally different set of answers. :lol:
 
I think this whole type of thread is someone else's area:eusa_eh:

This one doesn't seem as fun. Syren started a fun one. Lets all move over there.

LOL...what thread did i start????

But first a few questions.

Are you asking about getting back into the sex
or are you asking about how to start into the new relationship area?


They are two totally different set of answers. :lol:

Actually, it was Aqua Athena. Last pot I saw there was yours, so I mistook it for your thread.
And both.
 
I think this whole type of thread is someone else's area:eusa_eh:

This one doesn't seem as fun. Syren started a fun one. Lets all move over there.

LOL...what thread did i start????

But first a few questions.

Are you asking about getting back into the sex
or are you asking about how to start into the new relationship area?


They are two totally different set of answers. :lol:

Actually, it was Aqua Athena. Last pot I saw there was yours, so I mistook it for your thread.
And both.

Cmon Barb---keep up !! :lol:
 
LOL...what thread did i start????

But first a few questions.

Are you asking about getting back into the sex
or are you asking about how to start into the new relationship area?


They are two totally different set of answers. :lol:

Actually, it was Aqua Athena. Last pot I saw there was yours, so I mistook it for your thread.
And both.

Cmon Barb---keep up !! :lol:

Have mercy! I have a bad cold. Lost my voice even (naturally, the family is devastated), and I'm on antibiotics even!
Naturally, the brandy (PEACH! they make peach brandy!) I'm taking is PURELY for medicinal purposes and has NOTHING to do with any mistakes made...:eusa_angel:
Not fer nothing Dillo, I thought we was tight. :doubt:
 
Actually, it was Aqua Athena. Last pot I saw there was yours, so I mistook it for your thread.
And both.

Cmon Barb---keep up !! :lol:

Have mercy! I have a bad cold. Lost my voice even (naturally, the family is devastated), and I'm on antibiotics even!
Naturally, the brandy (PEACH! they make peach brandy!) I'm taking is PURELY for medicinal purposes and has NOTHING to do with any mistakes made...:eusa_angel:
Not fer nothing Dillo, I thought we was tight. :doubt:

cmon Barb--just keeping you on you're toes. ( go with the Apricot)
 
Cmon Barb---keep up !! :lol:

Have mercy! I have a bad cold. Lost my voice even (naturally, the family is devastated), and I'm on antibiotics even!
Naturally, the brandy (PEACH! they make peach brandy!) I'm taking is PURELY for medicinal purposes and has NOTHING to do with any mistakes made...:eusa_angel:
Not fer nothing Dillo, I thought we was tight. :doubt:

cmon Barb--just keeping you on you're toes. ( go with the Apricot)

Apricot is good (they make that too?), but I'm partial to peach. There's something about the scent of fresh ripe peaches that just makes me happy. And okay, somebody has to keep me on my toes
lest they curl.
 
Have mercy! I have a bad cold. Lost my voice even (naturally, the family is devastated), and I'm on antibiotics even!
Naturally, the brandy (PEACH! they make peach brandy!) I'm taking is PURELY for medicinal purposes and has NOTHING to do with any mistakes made...:eusa_angel:
Not fer nothing Dillo, I thought we was tight. :doubt:

cmon Barb--just keeping you on you're toes. ( go with the Apricot)

Apricot is good (they make that too?), but I'm partial to peach. There's something about the scent of fresh ripe peaches that just makes me happy. And okay, somebody has to keep me on my toes
lest they curl.

If you toes curl you're doing a mighty fine job
 

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