Saturday night sex thread

Discussion in 'Arts & Crafts' started by Barb, Jul 17, 2010.

  1. Barb
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    Barb Carpe Scrotum

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    Lumpy seems to have abdicated his responsibility, so I'll start.
    What advice do the ladies and gentlemen at USMB have for a woman who has been out of circulation for 7 years (and untouched by human hands for nearly five) upon re-entry to the world?
    Assume that she is:
    dumb as a post
    not in as much of a hurry as one would think
    and this is important:
    already well aware of the grooming required once that "special day" arrives.
     
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  2. hortysir
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    hortysir In Memorial of 47

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    Send her a mapquest link to my job.
    (can't come to the house, sorry)
    :redface:
     
  3. Gremlin-USA
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    Gremlin-USA <<< Me in 1970

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    Don't you want to know what she looks like first? :razz::lol::razz::lol:


    .
     
  4. hortysir
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    hortysir In Memorial of 47

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    She had me at, "dumb as a post"....
    :eusa_whistle:
     
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  5. masquerade
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    masquerade positivity

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    Be sure you're treated like a lady! Unless of course you want a disrespectful pig, it's all about me kind of guy hanging all over you. If that's the case, do everything that feels best!
     
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  6. Gremlin-USA
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    Gremlin-USA <<< Me in 1970

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    So, you just go for the easy ones, huh? :lol::lol:
     
  7. hortysir
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    hortysir In Memorial of 47

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    Not really.......
    I'm FOS, mostly ;)
    Happily marred, dammit
    :cool:
     
  8. Barb
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    Barb Carpe Scrotum

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    Out of the question, and not looking for offers...next
     
  9. dilloduck
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    dilloduck Diamond Member

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    Dive in quickly before those nasty emotional ties catch up with ya.
     
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  10. Barb
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    Barb Carpe Scrotum

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    Dumb as a post does NOT necessarily mean "easy":evil:

    It means inexperienced. :eusa_angel:
     

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