Saturday night sex thread

Barb

Carpe Scrotum
Apr 2, 2009
5,717
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in a house.
Lumpy seems to have abdicated his responsibility, so I'll start.
What advice do the ladies and gentlemen at USMB have for a woman who has been out of circulation for 7 years (and untouched by human hands for nearly five) upon re-entry to the world?
Assume that she is:
dumb as a post
not in as much of a hurry as one would think
and this is important:
already well aware of the grooming required once that "special day" arrives.
 
Be sure you're treated like a lady! Unless of course you want a disrespectful pig, it's all about me kind of guy hanging all over you. If that's the case, do everything that feels best!
 
Lumpy seems to have abdicated his responsibility, so I'll start.
What advice do the ladies and gentlemen at USMB have for a woman who has been out of circulation for 7 years (and untouched by human hands for nearly five) upon re-entry to the world?
Assume that she is:
dumb as a post
not in as much of a hurry as one would think
and this is important:
already well aware of the grooming required once that "special day" arrives.

Have two glasses of wine and then do absolutely anything and everything that feels good and let that happen to you. Sex is a very fun activity but for me it has to be with someone I really care about...
 
Lumpy seems to have abdicated his responsibility, so I'll start.
What advice do the ladies and gentlemen at USMB have for a woman who has been out of circulation for 7 years (and untouched by human hands for nearly five) upon re-entry to the world?
Assume that she is:
dumb as a post
not in as much of a hurry as one would think
and this is important:
already well aware of the grooming required once that "special day" arrives.

Have two glasses of wine and then do absolutely anything and everything that feels good and let that happen to you. Sex is a very fun activity but for me it has to be with someone I really care about...

Don't think the wine would be required if the one I really cared about showed up...
 
Lumpy seems to have abdicated his responsibility, so I'll start.
What advice do the ladies and gentlemen at USMB have for a woman who has been out of circulation for 7 years (and untouched by human hands for nearly five) upon re-entry to the world?
Assume that she is:
dumb as a post
not in as much of a hurry as one would think
and this is important:
already well aware of the grooming required once that "special day" arrives.

Have two glasses of wine and then do absolutely anything and everything that feels good and let that happen to you. Sex is a very fun activity but for me it has to be with someone I really care about...

Don't think the wine would be required if the one I really cared about showed up...

Not a requirement....an enhancement. Didn't you say a period of years had passed? I would like to loosen up all but one part of my mind and body connection, in that case..lol
 
Have two glasses of wine and then do absolutely anything and everything that feels good and let that happen to you. Sex is a very fun activity but for me it has to be with someone I really care about...

Don't think the wine would be required if the one I really cared about showed up...

Not a requirement....an enhancement. Didn't you say a period of years had passed? I would like to loosen up all but one part of my mind and body connection, in that case..lol

It's called foreplay
 
Have two glasses of wine and then do absolutely anything and everything that feels good and let that happen to you. Sex is a very fun activity but for me it has to be with someone I really care about...

Don't think the wine would be required if the one I really cared about showed up...

Not a requirement....an enhancement. Didn't you say a period of years had passed? I would like to loosen up all but one part of my mind and body connection, in that case..lol

I'm thinking an afternoon at the spa...
 
Don't think the wine would be required if the one I really cared about showed up...

Not a requirement....an enhancement. Didn't you say a period of years had passed? I would like to loosen up all but one part of my mind and body connection, in that case..lol

It's called foreplay

SNAP! That's still around! Kewl.:woohoo:
I seem to remember a few things about that. It's FUN to make you guys twitch.
 

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