SAS Test

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Bootneck, Aug 9, 2008.

  1. Bootneck
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    Bootneck Diamond Member

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    Three guys, one Airforce, one Army and one Royal Marine are taking the test to join the SAS. They have all passed the mental and physical sections and are down to the final interview.

    Guy from the Airforce walks in to be confronted by the SAS Head Shed who gives him a gun and says, "There are 6 bullets in that, your wife is upstairs, go up and kill her".

    The guy disappears but comes back 2 minutes later to say,

    "Sorry I really want to be in the SAS but she's my wife and I love her"

    "Sorry" says Head Shed,"But if you can't take orders, we don't want you"

    Guy from Army walks in and the same thing happens, he gets the gun and is told to go upstairs and kill his wife, but also can't do it, so is told to thin out.

    The Marine walks in and is given the gun. Off he goes and suddenly 6 shots ring out from upstairs, followed by an almighty commotion, and 10 minutes later he walks back into the room drenched in sweat.

    He looks at the Head Shed and chucks the gun at him saying, "You bastard, they were blanks, I had to strangle the bitch!!!"
     
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  2. editec
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    editec Mr. Forgot-it-All

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    So now, this is no shit...

    An Army General, Air force general, Marine Corps general and Navy admiral were loaded in the O club. They were debating the meaning of courage.

    "You want to see courage? " the Army brass asked, " I'll show you courage!"

    "Private!" he yelled and a PFC snapped to attention:

    "Sir! Yes, Sir!"

    The General continued: "I order you to take your rifle and attack that fortified pillbox"

    Dutifully and with great courage, the PFC attacked the pillbox singlehandedly. He was cut in half by heavy machinegun fire hundreds of yards before he got even close to his mission.

    Gentlemen, the Army general slurred, " That's courage!"

    "Negatory," said the Marine general, " I'll show you raw courage... Recruit!

    "Sir! Yes, Sir!"

    "Take your K-bar and attack that Abhrams tank"

    The young Marine dodged heavy fire, valient though he was, he was obliterated 500 meters from his target.

    "That is Semer Fidelis courage" the Marine said.

    The Airforce General scoffed: " Gents, courage is overcoming natural fears, fears that are hard-wired into all of us. Airman!"

    "Sir! Yes, Sir!" came the reply from an airman.

    "Tell the pilot of that jet to take you up to 10,000 feet and then bail without without a parachute"

    "Sir! Yes, Sir!", and that's just what that young brave lad did. SPLAT!

    The salty old admiral, said, " You men are damned fools, and none of you understands real courage. Follow me to my carrier.

    Standing on the flight deck he called up to a Seaman second class who was on the highest most point of the commuications stanchion, painting... six stories above the flight deck.

    "Lad," called the admiral to the seaman

    The seaman looked down on all that brass shining in the sun, and replied

    "Sir! Yes, Sir!"

    "Lad, I want you to take a swan dive and land right here on the flight deck"

    " Sir?" the incedulous sailor yelled back.

    "You heard my order, sailor Jump off and do a swan dive onto the deck, NOW!"

    "Sir... fuck YOU, SIR"

    The admiral looked to his fellow brass, and said: "Now that, gentlemen, is true courage."
     
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  3. Bootneck
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    Bootneck Diamond Member

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    Nice one Editec. Reminds me of this little story:


    Military Etiquette

    Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a £5 note?

    Soldier: Sure mate, hold on and I'll dig out my wallet.

    Officer: That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again. Do you have change for a £5 note?

    Soldier: NO, SIR!
     
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  4. Gunny
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    Gunny Gold Member

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    LMFAO! :rofl:
     
  5. Gunny
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    Gunny Gold Member

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    I think I KNOW that Sailor ....:eusa_eh:
     

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