Russian Jokes

Discussion in 'Humor' started by mightypeon, Sep 9, 2008.

  1. mightypeon

    mightypeon Active Member

    Aug 4, 2008
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    Berlin Germany (NOT MASSACHUSETS)
    Here are some moderatly funny tidbits from Russia. Mind that these are important jokes, because some people got into Gulag for them.

    An unidentified mummy is found. Scientists from the US, France and Great Britain where are unable to figure out who the Pharao is and when he lived. For some reason, 3 KGB interrogators are in the area and offer their help. They are admitted by the scientists, usher everyone out of the tomb and begin their work.
    After 2 days they come out and exclaim: "He was Ramses the 4. born 2362 before Christus, plotted the downfall of the Hethitian Empire and had an incestous relationship with his step-sister." The scientists are amazed, "How did you find that out?" They ask, "Well" awnser the KGB experts, "He confessed everything."

    On a literature meeting, a price will be handed out for the best book about elefants. Several nations compete. The US sends in a "How to" booklet, titled "How to become an elephant in 100 days". The French send in a book with an erotic cover, titled "The Elephant and the Amazon". Germany sends in a 20 pound tome titled "Basic elephant science". The book of the Soviet Union had a red cover and is titled "The Soviet Elephant as the carrier of world revolution."

    And here my (long winded) all time favourite:

    A buisnessman arrives late in moscow, most hotels are closed, and the only room still have is one shared with 3 other persons. While the buisnessman tries to sleep, the 3 other persons smoke, drink and tell political jokes. When they would not become silent, the buisnessman discovers a cunning plan.
    He walks out and asks the room service to bring 4 tee to the room in 30 minutes. He then returns and asks, "Hey mates, arent the politcal jokes a bit risky? This place may be wiretaped and under KGB surveillance". "wiretapes in a hotel room?" They belittle him "You are joking!". "Ok," awnsers the Buisnessman, "lets make a test.". "Comrade captain" He shouts, "Could you please send 4 cups of tea to this room?". Again the three other persons laugh, and obviously fall silent when the room maid appears with the 4 cups of tea that the buisnessman previously ordered. As the 3 guys are now silent, our buisnessman can happily fall asleep.
    On the next day, he wakes up and discovers that the 3 other persons are away. "What happened to them?" He asks the room maid. "Oh, the KGB came and took them" she awnsers. "But why didnt they take me?" he returns, "Well, Comrade captain said he liked your joke with the tea."
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2008

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