- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
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This is a TrumpUSA parody inspired by Alien: Covenant and Scary Movie.
Signing off,
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All the NASA scientists working for the Trump Administration were really excited about the new discovery regarding what seemed to be a completely gold-leafed planet! The trees and grass on planet LG-123 had enough of an isotope of the element Gold (Au) to be a world blanketed in shimmering (and precious!) gold! The Trump Administration ordered NASA to assemble a team of space-explorers for the experimental new ship (one that could travel at the speed-of-light) which would take astronauts to LG-123. Included in crew was female Navy officer Ellen Ripley.
Ripley was trained in hand-to-hand combat and was skilled in various tool-and-tech-use requisites. She was also an avid science-fiction fan and sci-fi horror comics reader and collector. In fact, Ripley tried to attend the annual sci-fi comics convention in D.C. every July. However, this July would see her board the NASA space-exploration vessel Judas and try to reach LG-123 to collect that precious gold for America(!). Ripley was very excited and considered the mission 'symbolic' for TrumpUSA.
When the crew of Judas landed on LG-123 one year later (in July!), Ripley served as field-exploration commander. All crew members (Dallas, Ryan, Emma, Theodore, and Charlene) were armed with high-tech laser weapons capable of disintegrating a head from long-range. Ripley herself was quite adept as using her laser-gun (equipped with a tracking-and-aiming device). Ripley spotted something from a distance while leading the crew of Judas on the expedition (during which Charlene collected bushels and bushels of gold-leaves for the mission). Ripley spotted what seemed to be a rather large insectisoid-like and even dragon-like dark-colored 'creature' moving towards her crew.
RIPLEY: Who are you and what do you want?
XENO: My name is simply 'Xeno' and I'm here to 'greet' you.
RIPLEY: You look vicious; are you being sarcastic, Xeno?
XENO: What is your name?
RIPLEY: I'm Commander Ellen Ripley of NASA vessel Judas.
XENO: You're here for the gold on LG-123, right?
RIPLEY: That's right; are you a guardian of this gold?
XENO: No! The gold is there for the taking...
RIPLEY: What is your purpose, Xeno?
XENO: I intend to hunt your crew like prey.
RIPLEY: What?
XENO: That's right; you came for gold, which is a snare for my prey.
RIPLEY: So LG-123 is a hunting-arena for predatory creatures such as yourself.
XENO: Correct again; I know you're here as an 'emissary of TrumpUSA.'
RIPLEY: Are you implying that our TrumpUSA is 'gold-hungry' or juvenile?
XENO: Trump was a casino-mogul, was he not (before becoming President)?
RIPLEY: That's true, but if LG-123 is a gold-snare hunting-trap, you're savage!
XENO: This planet was meant to lure in my 'witnesses.'
RIPLEY: If you're enhancing your own power/delight, you're merely a tyrant.
XENO: Tyranny is merely the 'Big Brother' of fertility, Ellen...
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Signing off,
====
All the NASA scientists working for the Trump Administration were really excited about the new discovery regarding what seemed to be a completely gold-leafed planet! The trees and grass on planet LG-123 had enough of an isotope of the element Gold (Au) to be a world blanketed in shimmering (and precious!) gold! The Trump Administration ordered NASA to assemble a team of space-explorers for the experimental new ship (one that could travel at the speed-of-light) which would take astronauts to LG-123. Included in crew was female Navy officer Ellen Ripley.
Ripley was trained in hand-to-hand combat and was skilled in various tool-and-tech-use requisites. She was also an avid science-fiction fan and sci-fi horror comics reader and collector. In fact, Ripley tried to attend the annual sci-fi comics convention in D.C. every July. However, this July would see her board the NASA space-exploration vessel Judas and try to reach LG-123 to collect that precious gold for America(!). Ripley was very excited and considered the mission 'symbolic' for TrumpUSA.
When the crew of Judas landed on LG-123 one year later (in July!), Ripley served as field-exploration commander. All crew members (Dallas, Ryan, Emma, Theodore, and Charlene) were armed with high-tech laser weapons capable of disintegrating a head from long-range. Ripley herself was quite adept as using her laser-gun (equipped with a tracking-and-aiming device). Ripley spotted something from a distance while leading the crew of Judas on the expedition (during which Charlene collected bushels and bushels of gold-leaves for the mission). Ripley spotted what seemed to be a rather large insectisoid-like and even dragon-like dark-colored 'creature' moving towards her crew.
RIPLEY: Who are you and what do you want?
XENO: My name is simply 'Xeno' and I'm here to 'greet' you.
RIPLEY: You look vicious; are you being sarcastic, Xeno?
XENO: What is your name?
RIPLEY: I'm Commander Ellen Ripley of NASA vessel Judas.
XENO: You're here for the gold on LG-123, right?
RIPLEY: That's right; are you a guardian of this gold?
XENO: No! The gold is there for the taking...
RIPLEY: What is your purpose, Xeno?
XENO: I intend to hunt your crew like prey.
RIPLEY: What?
XENO: That's right; you came for gold, which is a snare for my prey.
RIPLEY: So LG-123 is a hunting-arena for predatory creatures such as yourself.
XENO: Correct again; I know you're here as an 'emissary of TrumpUSA.'
RIPLEY: Are you implying that our TrumpUSA is 'gold-hungry' or juvenile?
XENO: Trump was a casino-mogul, was he not (before becoming President)?
RIPLEY: That's true, but if LG-123 is a gold-snare hunting-trap, you're savage!
XENO: This planet was meant to lure in my 'witnesses.'
RIPLEY: If you're enhancing your own power/delight, you're merely a tyrant.
XENO: Tyranny is merely the 'Big Brother' of fertility, Ellen...
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