Rewarding bad behavior

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by chanel, Oct 6, 2009.

  1. chanel
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    chanel Silver Member

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    A friend has been fostering two teen girls 16 and 18 for several months. Sad situation - mom in jail, no where to go, etc. They've caused her quite a bit of heartache and trouble, cutting school, staying out all night, etc., but she is determined to see they are safe and graduate from high school. But of course, they don't like her rules. Especially the older one.

    She claims that now that she is 18 - no one can tell her what to do. So she complained to DYFS that the rules were too strict, and she could not live there anymore. DYFS has set her up in her own apt, courtesy of the tax payers. SHE IS STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL!!! She cannot even get herself up in the morning.

    I have mentioned on this board that there is an epidemic of teen pregnancies in our school. There is no doubt that some of these girls see welfare as a way out of their parents' homes. Now it seems they don't even have to get pregnant to get their own crib.

    Is this insane or what?
     
  2. Annie
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    Annie Diamond Member

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    Chanel, it's a crazy situation indeed. Truth is though, even if the 18 year old was her own daughter, she'd be able to move out on her own. That children and family services provides an apartment, I don't know that any kid can get that, at least that quickly. A ward of the state? Yeah.
     
  3. chanel
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    chanel Silver Member

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    Good point. Yet it is nearly impossible for an 18 year old to get emancipated in order to qualify for financial aide for college. What's the difference?

    This is the first time I have heard of something like this. I have students who are mothers and have their own place, but never anyone single. News like this travels fast. It's only a matter of time before she lets all her friends know how to get their own apts. And trust me, some of these kids would do anything to get out of their parents' homes, and I kinda can't blame them.

    The girls have four case managers. This is not just a rent check. I imagine the whole shebang adds up to over 6 figures a year.
     
  4. editec
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    editec Mr. Forgot-it-All

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    Sounds pretty crazy to me.
     
  5. AllieBaba
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    AllieBaba BANNED

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    The difference is an 18 y.o. seeking emancipation to attend college is generally trying to do it to make themselves eligible for financial aid, when their parent's income precludes them from it.

    If a family is responsible for their kid until she's 18, then it's dishonest to emancipate them at 18 just so you don't have to pay their tuition or any part of it, and the government is hip to that.

    Parents who make enough to exclude their kid from financial aid, but who don't actually have enough to send their kids, should move the kids out of the house and have them work at a shit job for a year. THEN the kids file for financial aid using their own tax returns, and they're eligible.

    But that's why it's hard to get most 18 y.o. kids emancipated for the purpose of attending college.
     
  6. AllieBaba
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    AllieBaba BANNED

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    Foster kids are generally pushed out into the real world as soon as they turn 18. Your friend may be one of the exceptions, but believe me, foster care isn't necessarily a good thing for most kids...not just because of the quality of ppl who do it, but because the way the state insists on moving them around.

    Right now my co-worker is one of 9 workers in the state surveying foster kids. Know what he's finding? Foster parents are holding the system hostage by insisting the kids (some as young as two) have issues which result in a bigger paycheck. He has ppl fostering 2 year olds who are claiming the children have communication issues, anger management issues, ADHD (you can't even screen for that at 2) and a variety of other things which are just typical 2 year old behavior (no shit....follows the foster parents when they leave the room. Has separation anxiety. Will light the stove if left alone in the kitchen. NO SHIT? A 2-year-old who can't be LEFT ALONE? HORROR!) One foster mom insists that her foster child, who is 17 or 18 now, has worked at the same job for 2 years, is enrolled full time in college, has all these horrendous self-destructive behaviors, depression, etc., when it's obvious the girl doesn't..and never has. She went through a rebellious stage about 9 years ago, and that was it.
     
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2009
  7. Annie
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    Annie Diamond Member

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    Last I knew, at least in IL, you must be out of the parental home 3 years before being considered on your income alone. Thus most couldn't begin college until 21. (Sorry about changing the 't' with an asterisk, school filters and all.)
     

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