Terry
Shut the $%$ Up!
- Jan 15, 2009
- 5,222
- 1,136
- 48
The Navy found they had
too many officers and decided to offer an earlyretirement bonus.. They
promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000
for every inch measured in a straight line between any Twopoints in
his body.. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who
accepted asked that he be measured from the top of Hishead to the tip
of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with abonus of
$72,000.
The second officer who
accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of
his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with$96,000.
The third one was a
non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he
would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my weenie to my
testicles.'
It was suggested by the
pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining
about the nice big checks the previous two Officers had
received.
But the old Chief
insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the
measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.
The Medical Officer
arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,'
which He did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on
the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back.
Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where Are your
testicles?'
The old Chief calmly
replied, '
Vietnam'.
too many officers and decided to offer an earlyretirement bonus.. They
promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000
for every inch measured in a straight line between any Twopoints in
his body.. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who
accepted asked that he be measured from the top of Hishead to the tip
of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with abonus of
$72,000.
The second officer who
accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of
his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with$96,000.
The third one was a
non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he
would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my weenie to my
testicles.'
It was suggested by the
pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining
about the nice big checks the previous two Officers had
received.
But the old Chief
insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the
measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.
The Medical Officer
arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,'
which He did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on
the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back.
Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where Are your
testicles?'
The old Chief calmly
replied, '
Vietnam'.
