Why did the chicken cross the road? > JOHN KERRY The chicken intentionally mislead us into letting it cross > the road. I actually did vote for the chicken to cross the road, before > I voted against it. The chicken should have given the UN more time to > inspect the other side of the road before pre-emptively crossing it. I > will make sure that the chicken does not have to bear the full burden of > this unwarranted road crossing alone by enlisting the help of other > chickens like France and Germany. > GEORGE W BUSH It does not matter why the chicken crossed the road. We > just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road. The chicken > is either for us, or against us. Evil doer chickens will be hunted down > on both sides of the road and anyone found harboring these chickens will > be plucked. > DAN RATHER An undisclosed but reliable capon has given me unverifiable > documents that prove that the chicken got preferential treatment and was > allowed to cross the road to avoid crossing the highway, and that the > chicken went AWOL and did not satisfactorily complete it's road > crossing. While I don't know which side of the road these documents came > from and agree they are probably chicken scratch, I still believe the > information in them is true and you should trust me because I'm Dan > Rather and you're not. > RALPH NADER The chicken's habitat on this side of the road has been > polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the > unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed > by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV. > PAT BUCHANAN To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American. > RUSH LIMBAUGH I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it > was getting a government grant to do it. I'll bet some chicken hugging > liberal out there is already forming a support group to help chickens > with crossing-the-road syndrome and wants taxpayers to foot the bill. > MARTHA STEWART No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was > going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs > when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any > insider information. > DR SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? > Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been > told. > ERNEST HEMINGWAY To die in the rain. Alone. > MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR I envision a world where all chickens will be > free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. > GRANDPA In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. > Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough. > BARBARA WALTERS Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be > listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming > story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to > accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road. > JOHN LENNON Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads > together - in peace. > ARISTOTLE It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. > KARL MARX Itwas an historic inevitability. > CAPTAIN KIRK To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. > SIGMUND FREUD The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken > crossed the road reveals your underlying insecurity and attraction to > poultry. > BILL GATES I have just witnessed eChicken2005, which will not only cross > roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance > your checkbook. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken. > ALBERT EINSTEIN Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road > move beneath the chicken? > BILL CLINTON I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. The answer > depends on your definition of chicken. > HILLARY CLINTON Even though I am the smartest woman in the world and > know all there is to know about everything, I do not know anything about > any chicken including the one allegedly found in my residence. > AL GORE I invented the chicken! > THE BIBLE And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken > "THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD." And the chicken didst cross the road, and > there was much rejoicing. > COLONEL SANDERS Did I miss one? > >Are you still alive, or did you die laughing?!!!!!!