responses to the ole chicken joke

Discussion in 'Humor' started by dilloduck, Oct 28, 2004.

  1. dilloduck

    dilloduck Diamond Member

    May 8, 2004
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    Austin, TX
    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    > JOHN KERRY The chicken intentionally mislead us into letting it cross
    > the road. I actually did vote for the chicken to cross the road, before
    > I voted against it. The chicken should have given the UN more time to
    > inspect the other side of the road before pre-emptively crossing it. I
    > will make sure that the chicken does not have to bear the full burden of
    > this unwarranted road crossing alone by enlisting the help of other
    > chickens like France and Germany.
    > GEORGE W BUSH It does not matter why the chicken crossed the road. We
    > just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road. The chicken
    > is either for us, or against us. Evil doer chickens will be hunted down
    > on both sides of the road and anyone found harboring these chickens will
    > be plucked.
    > DAN RATHER An undisclosed but reliable capon has given me unverifiable
    > documents that prove that the chicken got preferential treatment and was
    > allowed to cross the road to avoid crossing the highway, and that the
    > chicken went AWOL and did not satisfactorily complete it's road
    > crossing. While I don't know which side of the road these documents came
    > from and agree they are probably chicken scratch, I still believe the
    > information in them is true and you should trust me because I'm Dan
    > Rather and you're not.
    > RALPH NADER The chicken's habitat on this side of the road has been
    > polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the
    > unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed
    > by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
    > PAT BUCHANAN To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
    > RUSH LIMBAUGH I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it
    > was getting a government grant to do it. I'll bet some chicken hugging
    > liberal out there is already forming a support group to help chickens
    > with crossing-the-road syndrome and wants taxpayers to foot the bill.
    > MARTHA STEWART No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
    > going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs
    > when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any
    > insider information.
    > DR SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
    > Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been
    > told.
    > ERNEST HEMINGWAY To die in the rain. Alone.
    > MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR I envision a world where all chickens will be
    > free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
    > GRANDPA In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
    > Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
    > BARBARA WALTERS Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
    > listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming
    > story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
    > accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

    > JOHN LENNON Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
    > together - in peace.
    > ARISTOTLE It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
    > KARL MARX Itwas an historic inevitability.
    > CAPTAIN KIRK To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
    > SIGMUND FREUD The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
    > crossed the road reveals your underlying insecurity and attraction to
    > poultry.
    > BILL GATES I have just witnessed eChicken2005, which will not only cross
    > roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance
    > your checkbook. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.
    > ALBERT EINSTEIN Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
    > move beneath the chicken?
    > BILL CLINTON I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. The answer
    > depends on your definition of chicken.
    > HILLARY CLINTON Even though I am the smartest woman in the world and
    > know all there is to know about everything, I do not know anything about
    > any chicken including the one allegedly found in my residence.
    > AL GORE I invented the chicken!
    > THE BIBLE And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken
    > "THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD." And the chicken didst cross the road, and
    > there was much rejoicing.
    > COLONEL SANDERS Did I miss one?
    >Are you still alive, or did you die laughing?!!!!!!
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  2. Merlin1047

    Merlin1047 Senior Member

    Mar 28, 2004
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    Copied those. Sent them to the liberal, kerry-voting wife of a friend of mine. Titled the e-mail "Chicken jokes for Chicken Lips".

    That ought to wind her up for a day or two.

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