Racism in Corvallis, Oregon.

[WhatsTheAnswer?]

I am a grad student from India studying at OSU, Corvallis. I have never felt more lonely in my life than the time I spent in Corvallis. People here, at best, smile at me and move on. Even if I go to a bar, people never look at me as another human being and speak spontaneously the way they do with other fellow Americans. I tried to find a girl, to date, using Match.com, Eharmony, Yahoo, OKCupid etc. Let alone dating me, they didn't even respond to my emails. I tried for like 2 years and they'd just not speak to me. I am 6'3" tall and I am not fat/unattractive. The American people in my lab, who are predominantly Caucasian, never talk to non-white immigrants and they have their own group into which, they carefully manage to exclude others. They speak with me ONLY if they NEED something from me. Otherwise, they'd N_ever go personal with me.

I have been to SF, Sand Diego, LA, Bakersfield, San Jose, Austin,.......White people spoke to me as though they were blind to my skin color. They spoke to me the way my Indian peers in India would. The story is different in Oregon and especially in Corvallis. I asked white people in the psychological counseling department and I asked white people who work in shops that I usually go to: They just won't admit that people here are racists.

I wish to know from people who know about Corvallis, Oregon, as to why this is happening to me. Please do not advise me the way you'd to a Fresh Off the Boat Indian. I do N_ot smell bad. I have an accent but people here can easily understand me without having to ask me to repeat what I said. I dress well. I do not pick my nose. I can go on with this list but the point is that from my side, there is nothing that could possibly repel an American. I know this for a fact because I hired a dating consultant and payed him to tell me if I was repulsive and on the contrary, he said I have quite an attractive personality.

Please help me with your honest opinion. I have absolutely nobody else to ask for help.

 

[JenyEliza]

You're a liar!

EVERYONE picks their nose---they just won't admit it.

I don't know what to tell you, but I have worked with some amazing and interesting people from India. I loved picking their brains (vs. the nose ) to find out the things they've seen and done in thier lives and what India is like.

I just watched the Oprah show today....a very neat Indian couple who are (apparently) very very famous actors the world over were on. I'd never heard of them, and couldn't prounounce their names if I tried, but the man was extremely handsome and the wife was absolutely gorgeous with amazing emerald green eyes. Their English was flawless and they were very kind and gracious.

I've always been quite fond of my friends from India. You'd be more than welcome here in Atlanta. We have a large Indian community, as well as folks are are quite accepting of this community.

Hope you find the answers (and the girl) you're looking for!

Best wishes!

Jen

 

[WhatsTheAnswer?]

Thanks Jeny. I know that the culture is different in different parts of US. Unfortunately, I live in this part of Oregon which seems to be very different from the rest of the west coast cities. I am under extreme stress mostly due to the lack of a friendly American community in this town, apart from the research work that goes on 24/7 in our research group.
Nice to know that things are different in Atlanta.

 

[The Baiter]

Jen wants you to drop out of college and open up a liquor store in Atlanta. Yeah, she despises black people like that.

 

[Baruch Menachem]

Racism in Corvallis... That sounds very strange. It is as rare, I would think, as snow in Madras.. India. Snows a lot in Madras, OR.

I would think, given what I know of the place that you would have exactly the opposite problem. People would treat you as an interesting exotic, and be all over you.

I really think you may have to look inside yourself for some answers to this one, as people here are are usually seen as excessively outgoing, and the folks in Eugene and Corvallis even more so.

 

[WhatsTheAnswer?]

I have been told that brown immigrants are thought of as being exotic. That does not explain why college kids shout at me on the streets saying 'Go back to your country' or flip the bird at me. I tried to speak with the undergrad kids and they'd be as superficial as possible and later, avoid me as much as possible. Also, thinking that I am exotic is not right. I must be treated as another human being just the way they'd treat other fellow Americans.

The ONLY exception to this is the Christian community. They are very friendly and helpful but again, they inevitably bring religion in a subtle way each time we meet and when I ask them as to why people here are so indifferent, they'd say "how do you feel spiritually" and give me a sermon on what is said in the Bible. I have lived here for over 3 years. I have tried a LOT to mingle with people here. But it was extremely disappointing. Highly disappointing.

 

[Baruch Menachem]

This is in Corvallis? This is so far off the map of what I know of the place I am almost wanting to challenge your knowledge of the place

But you are there now and I am not.

It may very well be (I am not defending the behavior if it is there, just trying to get an understanding of it) that since so many engineering jobs are going off shore to India these days that they see you as a competitive threat. It was mostly an engineering school. You come here, get education at a state school (Lots of folks don't realize that overseas students pay a lot higher tuition than Oregonians) and then go back home with a diploma and a job that some Oregonian didn't get. You realize that Oregon has one of the highest unemployment rates in the country, don't you? That is your not your fault, we voted in Kitshauber and Kulengowsky in for two terms each, and the legislature..... less said the better. Anyway, this sounds weird to me. But with everything going smash, people sort of loose the north.

 

[mudwhistle]

I am a grad student from India studying at OSU, Corvallis. I have never felt more lonely in my life than the time I spent in Corvallis. People here, at best, smile at me and move on. Even if I go to a bar, people never look at me as another human being and speak spontaneously the way they do with other fellow Americans. I tried to find a girl, to date, using Match.com, Eharmony, Yahoo, OKCupid etc. Let alone dating me, they didn't even respond to my emails. I tried for like 2 years and they'd just not speak to me. I am 6'3" tall and I am not fat/unattractive. The American people in my lab, who are predominantly Caucasian, never talk to non-white immigrants and they have their own group into which, they carefully manage to exclude others. They speak with me ONLY if they NEED something from me. Otherwise, they'd N_ever go personal with me.

I have been to SF, Sand Diego, LA, Bakersfield, San Jose, Austin,.......White people spoke to me as though they were blind to my skin color. They spoke to me the way my Indian peers in India would. The story is different in Oregon and especially in Corvallis. I asked white people in the psychological counseling department and I asked white people who work in shops that I usually go to: They just won't admit that people here are racists.

I wish to know from people who know about Corvallis, Oregon, as to why this is happening to me. Please do not advise me the way you'd to a Fresh Off the Boat Indian. I do N_ot smell bad. I have an accent but people here can easily understand me without having to ask me to repeat what I said. I dress well. I do not pick my nose. I can go on with this list but the point is that from my side, there is nothing that could possibly repel an American. I know this for a fact because I hired a dating consultant and payed him to tell me if I was repulsive and on the contrary, he said I have quite an attractive personality.

Please help me with your honest opinion. I have absolutely nobody else to ask for help.

It may be against your nature but being outgoing would change their natural reaction to you.

Most people that live in the Northwest don't see too many people from other countries....so they are a bit scared to talk to you.

 

[WhatsTheAnswer?]

Please do trust me when I say these things on a discussion forum. Everything I have said is true. I have been shouted at and people still do that here. It is unfortunate that I have to live in this hell-hole for some more time. What does it take for people here to talk to me while I am in a coffee shop after me having smiled at them with a "how's it goin" routine? Why wouldn't they ask me about stuff that is going on in India or with my gradschool? Why has that never happened, let alone the discussion maturing into an invitation to their party on Saturday night?

Why am I being treated as an alien and not as a human being?

 

[Luissa]

I am a grad student from India studying at OSU, Corvallis. I have never felt more lonely in my life than the time I spent in Corvallis. People here, at best, smile at me and move on. Even if I go to a bar, people never look at me as another human being and speak spontaneously the way they do with other fellow Americans. I tried to find a girl, to date, using Match.com, Eharmony, Yahoo, OKCupid etc. Let alone dating me, they didn't even respond to my emails. I tried for like 2 years and they'd just not speak to me. I am 6'3" tall and I am not fat/unattractive. The American people in my lab, who are predominantly Caucasian, never talk to non-white immigrants and they have their own group into which, they carefully manage to exclude others. They speak with me ONLY if they NEED something from me. Otherwise, they'd N_ever go personal with me.

I have been to SF, Sand Diego, LA, Bakersfield, San Jose, Austin,.......White people spoke to me as though they were blind to my skin color. They spoke to me the way my Indian peers in India would. The story is different in Oregon and especially in Corvallis. I asked white people in the psychological counseling department and I asked white people who work in shops that I usually go to: They just won't admit that people here are racists.

I wish to know from people who know about Corvallis, Oregon, as to why this is happening to me. Please do not advise me the way you'd to a Fresh Off the Boat Indian. I do N_ot smell bad. I have an accent but people here can easily understand me without having to ask me to repeat what I said. I dress well. I do not pick my nose. I can go on with this list but the point is that from my side, there is nothing that could possibly repel an American. I know this for a fact because I hired a dating consultant and payed him to tell me if I was repulsive and on the contrary, he said I have quite an attractive personality.

Please help me with your honest opinion. I have absolutely nobody else to ask for help.

It may be against your nature but being outgoing would change their natural reaction to you.

Most people that live in the Northwest don't see too many people from other countries....so they are a bit scared to talk to you.

You have obviously not been to Portland or Seattle recently.
What you say is true for most of the northwest but not those two cities, along with Vancouver BC. If you go to a mall and you are white, you will feel like a minority.
I have heard that about Corvallis from a friend who went there, so I am not surprised by his opinion.

 

[WhatsTheAnswer?]

Mudwistle. I am pretty outgoing. I am friends with a LOT of people who go to the Baptist Church and the people who go to Calvary Chapel. They just want to convert me more than wanting to be my friend. It is just that when I smile at someone and if they walk off with just a smile without talking anything, it is very embarrassing for me to pursue them for a conversation. It happens so naturally to sane people. You don't even smile. You just start talking. That's it. Just start talking. You can talk about so many things. It could be about so many things that I don't know anything about. It could be about so many things that they don't know about. The important thing is this feeling that both the people should have. The feeling that 'yes, hes is as normal and as nice as I am and we should talk'. When they speak to their brothers, sisters or friends, they HAVE that feeling of familiarity and confidence. Why does it not show up when they talk to me?

 

[WhatsTheAnswer?]

Luissa. You make complete sense to me because women from Vancouver used to reply to my emails saying that they are looking for a Christian who lives close to them. Portland and Seattle are pretty far from Corvallis. I have been to Portland and it is m_uch better than Corvallis but is still not a percent of what San Francisco is.

 

[mudwhistle]

Please do trust me when I say these things on a discussion forum. Everything I have said is true. I have been shouted at and people still do that here. It is unfortunate that I have to live in this hell-hole for some more time. What does it take for people here to talk to me while I am in a coffee shop after me having smiled at them with a "how's it goin" routine? Why wouldn't they ask me about stuff that is going on in India or with my gradschool? Why has that never happened, let alone the discussion maturing into an invitation to their party on Saturday night?

Why am I being treated as an alien and not as a human being?

Maybe you need to keep it up. But strangers aren't the best ones to start with.

Maybe being around other folks that may not appear to be from another country might make some of them open up....but it takes time...living in a small town means you have to earn everyone's trust. And being standoffiish tends to put up a brick wall.

Make friends with people you work or go to school with. Being nice all of the time tends to disarm people.

 

[William Joyce]

Hurry up with my chicken tikka masala, goddammit.

 

[WhatsTheAnswer?]

Mudwhistle. Why do you think I am come out as being standoffish? I just asked people on this forum as to why people around me, in this town, do not even speak to me the way they do to another normal human being. Does that make me an arrogant person? I may have vented out my frustration but please know that I have tried really really hard. To live alone in a cheap apartment in a small town which is half way around the globe, where it rains all the time, and where people just wont talk to you, is really really frustrating. I have endured this for over three years and all I want to know is whether it is with me or if it is with the people of Corvallis.

If I have offended anyone, please forgive me. I never meant to hurt anybody on a discussion forum where I am trying to get help.

 

[mudwhistle]

Mudwhistle. Why do you think I am come out as being standoffish? I just asked people on this forum as to why people around me, in this town, do not even speak to me the way they do to another normal human being. Does that make me an arrogant person? I may have vented out my frustration but please know that I have tried really really hard. To live alone in a cheap apartment in a small town which is half way around the globe, where it rains all the time, and where people just wont talk to you, is really really frustrating. I have endured this for over three years and all I want to know is whether it is with me or if it is with the people of Corvallis.

If I have offended anyone, please forgive me. I never meant to hurt anybody on a discussion forum where I am trying to get help.

This post pretty much spells out what the problem is.

You reacted to positive re-enforcement with negativity.

Perhaps you come off wrong and nobody wants to talk to you.


Keep in mind that it's not who you are that matters as much as how you act.

 

[WhatsTheAnswer?]

That may rationalize the case. But it does not explain why a conversation never gets initiated. Like I said, I smile at people and say good things to them when I come across them. I am a different person when I meet people. I am being very open here only because it is a discussion forum where you are required to be so.

 

[coolhandluke]

I am a grad student from India studying at OSU, Corvallis. I have never felt more lonely in my life than the time I spent in Corvallis. People here, at best, smile at me and move on. Even if I go to a bar, people never look at me as another human being and speak spontaneously the way they do with other fellow Americans. I tried to find a girl, to date, using Match.com, Eharmony, Yahoo, OKCupid etc. Let alone dating me, they didn't even respond to my emails. I tried for like 2 years and they'd just not speak to me. I am 6'3" tall and I am not fat/unattractive. The American people in my lab, who are predominantly Caucasian, never talk to non-white immigrants and they have their own group into which, they carefully manage to exclude others. They speak with me ONLY if they NEED something from me. Otherwise, they'd N_ever go personal with me.

I have been to SF, Sand Diego, LA, Bakersfield, San Jose, Austin,.......White people spoke to me as though they were blind to my skin color. They spoke to me the way my Indian peers in India would. The story is different in Oregon and especially in Corvallis. I asked white people in the psychological counseling department and I asked white people who work in shops that I usually go to: They just won't admit that people here are racists.

I wish to know from people who know about Corvallis, Oregon, as to why this is happening to me. Please do not advise me the way you'd to a Fresh Off the Boat Indian. I do N_ot smell bad. I have an accent but people here can easily understand me without having to ask me to repeat what I said. I dress well. I do not pick my nose. I can go on with this list but the point is that from my side, there is nothing that could possibly repel an American. I know this for a fact because I hired a dating consultant and payed him to tell me if I was repulsive and on the contrary, he said I have quite an attractive personality.

Please help me with your honest opinion. I have absolutely nobody else to ask for help.

You hired a guy to tell you that you have "quite an attractice personality" ? Also I notice that you weren,t told you were good looking. So that answers your question. You obviously look like a troll and scare women and children.

 

[California Girl]

Jen wants you to drop out of college and open up a liquor store in Atlanta. Yeah, she despises black people like that.

Jeny only hates them if they're Muslims. She's broadminded like that.

 

[AmericasBrave58]

I am a grad student from India studying at OSU, Corvallis. I have never felt more lonely in my life than the time I spent in Corvallis. People here, at best, smile at me and move on. Even if I go to a bar, people never look at me as another human being and speak spontaneously the way they do with other fellow Americans. I tried to find a girl, to date, using Match.com, Eharmony, Yahoo, OKCupid etc. Let alone dating me, they didn't even respond to my emails. I tried for like 2 years and they'd just not speak to me. I am 6'3" tall and I am not fat/unattractive. The American people in my lab, who are predominantly Caucasian, never talk to non-white immigrants and they have their own group into which, they carefully manage to exclude others. They speak with me ONLY if they NEED something from me. Otherwise, they'd N_ever go personal with me.

I have been to SF, Sand Diego, LA, Bakersfield, San Jose, Austin,.......White people spoke to me as though they were blind to my skin color. They spoke to me the way my Indian peers in India would. The story is different in Oregon and especially in Corvallis. I asked white people in the psychological counseling department and I asked white people who work in shops that I usually go to: They just won't admit that people here are racists.

I wish to know from people who know about Corvallis, Oregon, as to why this is happening to me. Please do not advise me the way you'd to a Fresh Off the Boat Indian. I do N_ot smell bad. I have an accent but people here can easily understand me without having to ask me to repeat what I said. I dress well. I do not pick my nose. I can go on with this list but the point is that from my side, there is nothing that could possibly repel an American. I know this for a fact because I hired a dating consultant and payed him to tell me if I was repulsive and on the contrary, he said I have quite an attractive personality.

Please help me with your honest opinion. I have absolutely nobody else to ask for help.

I am sorry, that you are having these problems. I live in a state, much like Oregon, in fact they call it the sister state to Oregon. In some parts of Washington, if you are not a blue eyed blonde haired person, you are looked upon as an outcast, from others. That would be in places like the North End and the Western part of Washington.You may stand a chance in Eastern Washington, or the areas of our capital Olympia.They have many different races in that area. These dating sites online, are not so much for serious at heart and you have to pay an arm and a leg in these big match making sites like E-Harmony. I quit going into those sites.All i can say, is i wish you all the very best of luck, in your search.