Some not-too-complimentary expressions of affection "I'd climb the highest mountain for you, but I do get nosebleeds." "Of course I love you .... some restrictions apply, dealer prep and destination charges extra, limited time offer, available only to U.S. residents, non-refundable deposit required, includes rebate, findings not verified by independent council, trade-in contribution may affect APR and total amount financed." "My love for you is innumerable, like the hairs on my butt." "Your nose glimmers like a blade of grass in the morning sun." "Girl, I miss you like the biscuit misses the gravy." "Your eyes are like deep flowing streams of algae." "I love you so much that I can't hold my bladder." "Baby, you are the Cheezwiz on my potato." "Oooh, those eyes, those lips, those chins!" "You're #1 on my top ten list"