Prison Or Work

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Johnney, Apr 13, 2004.

  1. Johnney
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    Johnney Senior Member

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    Just in case you ever got the two mixed up. This should make
    things a bit clearer.

    IN PRISON.. you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
    AT WORK... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

    IN PRISON...you get three meals a day.
    AT WORK...you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it.

    IN PRISON...you get time off for good behaviour.
    AT WORK...you get more work for good behaviour.

    IN PRISON...the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
    AT WORK...you must carry around a security card and open all the
    doors for yourself.

    IN PRISON...you can watch TV and play games.
    AT WORK...you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

    IN PRISON...you get your own toilet.
    AT WORK...you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.

    IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
    AT WORK...you can't even speak to your family.

    IN PRISON...the taxpayers pay all expenses with no work required.
    AT WORK...you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then
    they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

    IN PRISON...you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to
    get out.
    AT WORK...you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

    IN PRISON...you must deal with sadistic wardens.
    AT WORK...they are called managers.

    Have a Great Day at WORK!!
     
  2. Aquarian
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    Aquarian Member

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    haha :)

    I used to dream of going to prison, no work, free food/ place to live... lots of quiet time to think...

    but then I realized a mental ward would be much better, still get the roof over your head and food in the belly, but with the extra benefit of being medicated and when you are ready to leave just prove yourself sane and you're scott free :)
     
  3. Hobbit
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    Hobbit Senior Member

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    Well, I did hear a good rendition of the 12 days of Christmas with such gems as:

    Give me some more alamony
    Daughter needs some braces
    You've got a social virus
    The Plaaaaaaant is shuuuuttiiiiiiing doooooooooooooooown
    Think I might be pregnant
    Need a long vacation

    It ends with "sent my butt to prison," after which the above lines are changed to

    Got my long vacation
    (can't remember)
    The plaaaaaaaant can shuuuuuuut oooooon doooooooooooooooown
    Inmates get free health care
    Get your own braces
    Forget about your alamony
     

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