slackjawed
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Prepare for your new Midget Masters
- Thread starter slackjawed
- Start date
slackjawed
Self deported
- Thread starter
- #22
FACTS About midgets:
1. Midgets like to bite people
2. Midgets legs don't touch the ground when they are on the toilet
3. 10% of the American female public has a "midget fetish"
4. Midgets can use a strawberry crate as a shark cage
5. Midgets aren't really humans. They are spawns of a demon. This is why they are so ill tempered!
6. Midgets can trace their ancestry back to Ironforge
7. Midgets watch a lot of porn, but need to do the two-knuckle shuffle when jerkin'.
8. The smaller the midget, the more they want to attack.
9. The only known enemy to midgets is rollercoasters.
10. The majority of midgets will only hump/mate with full sized women
11. Midgets are portable, ladies. You can put them on the tops of your shoes and they can service you while you run errands.
12. If you punt a midget across the street you'll be charged with conspiracy to commit violent acts on a midget.
13. Midgets were behind 9/11 because they were sick of the building being so tall
14. Midgets usually aren't given utensils at the dinner table because they are known very very well for trying to stab dinner guests with their fork
15. If a midget gets constipated, they have to poop from their mouths because there is no where for the poop to go.
16. Midgets can be used for shark bait by dressing them up in a silver spandex glitter outfit and casting them behind a moving boat.
1. Midgets like to bite people
2. Midgets legs don't touch the ground when they are on the toilet
3. 10% of the American female public has a "midget fetish"
4. Midgets can use a strawberry crate as a shark cage
5. Midgets aren't really humans. They are spawns of a demon. This is why they are so ill tempered!
6. Midgets can trace their ancestry back to Ironforge
7. Midgets watch a lot of porn, but need to do the two-knuckle shuffle when jerkin'.
8. The smaller the midget, the more they want to attack.
9. The only known enemy to midgets is rollercoasters.
10. The majority of midgets will only hump/mate with full sized women
11. Midgets are portable, ladies. You can put them on the tops of your shoes and they can service you while you run errands.
12. If you punt a midget across the street you'll be charged with conspiracy to commit violent acts on a midget.
13. Midgets were behind 9/11 because they were sick of the building being so tall
14. Midgets usually aren't given utensils at the dinner table because they are known very very well for trying to stab dinner guests with their fork
15. If a midget gets constipated, they have to poop from their mouths because there is no where for the poop to go.
16. Midgets can be used for shark bait by dressing them up in a silver spandex glitter outfit and casting them behind a moving boat.
slackjawed
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slackjawed
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. If you hit a midget with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.
2. If you throw a midget into a tub of hot water, he makes Sleepytime tea!
3. 7 midgets thrown into a sausage machine makes 2 pounds of Kielbasa.
4. it takes 2 midgets to make one order of Midget McNuggets.
5. They have little hands.....and little eyes....they go around telling....little lies.......
6. If you lose a fight to a midget, you become one.
7. If you use a net and capture a few midgets and keep them as pets and train them to follow instructions, you will sell your dog
8. Little people (midgets if you will), need a little passport to go to Little Italy....
9. A studio apartment is a mansion to a midget.
10. A Ford fiesta is a limo to a midget.
11. A nerd candy is a jaw breaker to a midget.
12. A bathtub is an olympic sized pool to a midget.
13. small hands, smell like cabbage
14. Midgets must never cry. If they do their eyes fall out.
15. If you add water to a midget, they make their own gravy..
16. Midgets are scared to eat pussy because one wrong move and their back in the womb.
17. A midget looses no weight at the time of death. Proof that midgets have no soul?
18. the chinese ones are more rare and cost more.
19. If you hit a midget in the groin it makes a noise that only dogs and little children can hear
20. During WWII, Nazis kidnapped 100 midgets to polish the insides of shell casings.
21. "Midgets are the cause of all wars" - Mel Gibson
22. Midgets are reportedly the ONE and ONLY thing that Chuck Norris is afraid of.
23. Midgets explode in a violent chemical reaction when exposed to common sea salt.
24. Midgets have hollow places in their bodies where they hide very small weapons, and for that reason are often used for industrial espionage.
25. Midget limbs fall off easily and regenerate as a self defense mechanism.
26. Although midgets shed their skin every 22 months, they DO NOT grow.
27. Ivory Soap floats in water, so do midgets, but they can't at the same time.
28. Midgets do not dream.
29. From 1691 to 1695, midgets were legal tender in Austria.
30. Topps and Fleer used to include them with baseball cards during the bubble gum shortages of WW II.
31. If you rub a midget vigorously against your sweater, you can stick them to a wall
32. those tiny pellets you see in the woods arent rabbit-turds....
33. Every time a midget gets thrown down a flight of stairs, an angel gets their wings....
34. Midgets were used to repair the tracks to the underground railroad during the Civil War...
35. Midgets cannot be sold on Ebay...
(but can be on Overstock.com in certain circumstances....)
36. seven midgets have won the Congressional Medal of Honor, the last one for crawling down the spider hole to grab Saddam...
37. Midgets have 3 kidneys and are born without an appendix...
38. Midgets are born with the ability to speak Norweigan, nobody knows why...
39. Midgets are an excellent alternative fuel
40. Midgets NEVER get the extended warranty.
2. If you throw a midget into a tub of hot water, he makes Sleepytime tea!
3. 7 midgets thrown into a sausage machine makes 2 pounds of Kielbasa.
4. it takes 2 midgets to make one order of Midget McNuggets.
5. They have little hands.....and little eyes....they go around telling....little lies.......
6. If you lose a fight to a midget, you become one.
7. If you use a net and capture a few midgets and keep them as pets and train them to follow instructions, you will sell your dog
8. Little people (midgets if you will), need a little passport to go to Little Italy....
9. A studio apartment is a mansion to a midget.
10. A Ford fiesta is a limo to a midget.
11. A nerd candy is a jaw breaker to a midget.
12. A bathtub is an olympic sized pool to a midget.
13. small hands, smell like cabbage
14. Midgets must never cry. If they do their eyes fall out.
15. If you add water to a midget, they make their own gravy..
16. Midgets are scared to eat pussy because one wrong move and their back in the womb.
17. A midget looses no weight at the time of death. Proof that midgets have no soul?
18. the chinese ones are more rare and cost more.
19. If you hit a midget in the groin it makes a noise that only dogs and little children can hear
20. During WWII, Nazis kidnapped 100 midgets to polish the insides of shell casings.
21. "Midgets are the cause of all wars" - Mel Gibson
22. Midgets are reportedly the ONE and ONLY thing that Chuck Norris is afraid of.
23. Midgets explode in a violent chemical reaction when exposed to common sea salt.
24. Midgets have hollow places in their bodies where they hide very small weapons, and for that reason are often used for industrial espionage.
25. Midget limbs fall off easily and regenerate as a self defense mechanism.
26. Although midgets shed their skin every 22 months, they DO NOT grow.
27. Ivory Soap floats in water, so do midgets, but they can't at the same time.
28. Midgets do not dream.
29. From 1691 to 1695, midgets were legal tender in Austria.
30. Topps and Fleer used to include them with baseball cards during the bubble gum shortages of WW II.
31. If you rub a midget vigorously against your sweater, you can stick them to a wall
32. those tiny pellets you see in the woods arent rabbit-turds....
33. Every time a midget gets thrown down a flight of stairs, an angel gets their wings....
34. Midgets were used to repair the tracks to the underground railroad during the Civil War...
35. Midgets cannot be sold on Ebay...
(but can be on Overstock.com in certain circumstances....)
36. seven midgets have won the Congressional Medal of Honor, the last one for crawling down the spider hole to grab Saddam...
37. Midgets have 3 kidneys and are born without an appendix...
38. Midgets are born with the ability to speak Norweigan, nobody knows why...
39. Midgets are an excellent alternative fuel
40. Midgets NEVER get the extended warranty.
slackjawed
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- #25
Midgets are satan's stubby little toes!
slackjawed
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chrisophera is a midget
slackjawed
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slackjawed
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just a public service for those that missed my important thread the first (or 1oth or 22nd) time around.
slackjawed
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slackjawed
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Merry christmas!
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slackjawed
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I recently moved up to the coastal mountains of california. Since I been here there have been several people tell me that there are regular sightings of giant evil midgets with large feet around here.
This must be ground central.....
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This must be ground central.....
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slackjawed
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Ok, I escaped from eureka and the threat of captivity by mental midgets.......
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