Predictions for 2006

[Annie]

I saw Angelina Jolie's lesbian ex... wow... she certainly doesn't like them feminine looking, does she? Definitely not an attractive woman... more like the sort that bays at the moon....

Icky! I don't like to think of that stuff...

 

[Jimmyeatworld]

Texas will beat USC 34-31 on a 43 yard field goal with 2 seconds left, winning the National Championship. This will prompt Nancy Pelosi to demand the impeachment of President Bush.

The New England Patriots beat the odds and repeat as Superbowl Champions, defeating the Seattle Seahawks 38-20. One player will suffer an injury that threatens to end his career, prompting Liberals to demand the impeachment of President Bush.

In the Windy City Series, the White Sox beat the Cubs 4 games to 2 and repeat as World Series Champions. This will prompt every Democrat outside of Illinois to demand the impeachment of President Bush.

Heath Ledger will win Best Actor at the Golden Globes for "Brokeback Mountain", prompting "Out" magazine to demand the impeachment of President Bush. Ledger will not even be nominated for an Oscar, prompting Roger Ebert to demand the impeachment of President Bush.

Throngs of stupid people line up to see a surprise screening of "Fahrenheit 9/11 1/2", helping Michael Moore pay for another year of private school for his daughter. While Moore drowns himself in chocolate covered raisins, the theater mistakenly runs the 1986 film "Nine 1/2 Weeks". In the confusion, Liberals demand the impeachment of Kim Basinger.

By mid April, the first of a series of letters to the editor will appear in an American newspaper. It will be written by someone that claims to have always supported Republican candidates but will now vote Democrat. It will end with "...but I wouldn't know, because I don't have a job." The following letter will demand the impeachment of President Bush.

The CBS Evening News will revamp, reschedule, and rework their broadcast several times over the year. It will not help their ratings, however the 14 viewers they still have will be quite entertained. Their viewers will fall to 12 after a story in June demands the impeachment of President Bush.

There will be a significant withdrawal of troops from Iraq and Afghanistan. At first, Democrats will take credit. Eventually, Liberals complain that troops were pulled out too early, making the area they left too dangerous and demand the troops be sent back. Using this, they demand the impeachment of President Bush.

In a new twist on Thomas Jefferson's words, the ACLU will decide that "separation of church and state" actually means churches are not allowed to be built on the soil of a state and must hover off the ground. Until churches make the necessary changes, the ACLU will claim the words God, religion, Christianity, soul, Jesus, Jesus Christ, Christmas, nativity, holy, and Bible can not be used within a church. They will also demand the Ten Commandments not be posted on church grounds, no prayer should be allowed within a church, and no holy water will be available. All images of Christ, crosses, crucifixes, and pictures of Pope Benedict should be removed, as they are subject to separation of church and state. Synagogues, mosques, and the like will be exempt in the ACLU's eyes, as for some unexplained reason they will recognize them as secular buildings. The ACLU will then demand the impeachment of President Bush.

In the congressional elections, despite "leaks", three year old stories appearing on the front page of the New York Times, and the "because I don't have a job" letters to the editor appearing nationwide, Republicans will pick up one seat in the house. Liberals will demand the impeachment of President Bush, just for the hell of it.

 

[NATO AIR]

- The Democrats will force the hand of Republicans in Congress and force the "nuclear option", leading to a number of critical GOP-backed bills being freed up to be passed finally, but poor leadership in both Houses and ongoing scandals (see below) will weaken resolve and execution and only half or less will actually make it to the President's desk.

- Corruption probes related to Jack Abramoff will find credible, solid evidence of numerous GOP senators and congressmen on the take and making highly unethical decisions, leading to the resignation of at least a half a dozen or more politicians. At least one Democrat will resign as well.

- Democrats will gain Senate seats in OH, MT, MO and PA. GOP will add Senate seats in MN, FL (not Katherine Harris though) and MD.

- Pres. Bush will retool his WH team, making it less idealogical but more effective and Karl Rove continues his amazing run as the maestro behind the sweet music.

- Mark Warner will emerge as the front runner for the Democrat nomination, "triangulating" even more successfully than Bill Clinton did. Speculation will continue to run rampant for Condeleeza Rice to be the surprise GOP nominee, but GOP hands for top candidates (McCain, Romney, Allen) will propose leaving her at State for the 4 years of their term, allowing her to continue her time as the most effective Secretary of State since the last secretary to stay in multiple administrations; Henry Kissinger. Sam Brownback will emerge as the dark horse candidate with a legislative agenda far more effective and impressive than Allen's thin record.

Foreign Policy (Surprises)

- By the end of the year, Bangladesh will ask for the assistance of India and the US to put down an increasingly effective Islamic insurgency via security assistance, joint operations and training. US and Indian special forces will be hunting down insurgents and terrorists, while Chinese and Indian police secure the streets as part of a new and unique "stablization" effort to dampen insurgency-linked crime (heeding the lessons America wished it could apply in Iraq (but lacks the manpower and the foreign assistance).

- Burma's isolation from the international community will continue, leading the Chinese (their loan remaining backers) and the Japanese and Indians (their 2nd and 3rd biggest trading partners respectively) to pressure the military junta to transfer power to an ASEAN/UN collective that will utilize peacemaking/peacekeeping and development to prepare the nation for democratic elections in 3 years.

- Pakistan's president (Musharraf) will be assasinated by Islamic terrorists and the country will be taken over by Islamic parties. Months later, Iran successfully detonates a nuclear bomb. The security relationship between India and America becomes a de facto alliance.

- Iraq effectively splinters, but the Shiite South will begin to resent and revolt against its Iranian backers.

- Genocide continues in Darfur, then spreads to Eastern Sudan. Millions die, no one intervenes, the entire region destablizes as Ethiopia and Eritrea go to war, Sudan and Chad pursue a low-level conflict with a high body count among the impoverished, sick genocide suriviors in the middle and the Libyans support both sides for economic profit.

- Zimbabwe collapses into anarchy and the South Africans intervene to stablize and rebuild the country (just like they did in Mozambique).

 

[Adam's Apple]

-
- Mark Warner will emerge as the front runner for the Democrat nomination, "triangulating" even more successfully than Bill Clinton did.

I agree that Mark Warner is the best that the Democrats can offer if they want to have any appeal in the Red States. This "appeal" will all depend, of course, on who the Republican candidate is. From what I have been reading about Gov. Romney, I believe he would be a good choice for the second spot on the Republican ticket. Don't think he's ready for the top spot yet, but he does have a lot of good experience in business and government to draw from.

- Pakistan's president (Musharraf) will be assasinated by Islamic terrorists and the country will be taken over by Islamic parties. Months later, Iran successfully detonates a nuclear bomb. The security relationship between India and America becomes a de facto alliance.

Heavens forbid! Let's hope that one does not materialize. Gives me the shivers just thinking about it.

 

[NATO AIR]

I agree that Mark Warner is the best that the Democrats can offer if they want to have any appeal in the Red States. This "appeal" will all depend, of course, on who the Republican candidate is. From what I have been reading about Gov. Romney, I believe he would be a good choice for the second spot on the Republican ticket. Don't think he's ready for the top spot yet, but he does have a lot of good experience in business and government to draw from.



Heavens forbid! Let's hope that one does not materialize. Gives me the shivers just thinking about it.

I agree, Romney would be a fine VP as it is now. I like Allen a lot, but he has done next to nothing in the Senate of consequence. For that matter, I like Brownback the most, but he is the least likely of any to get the nomination. Warner would be a fine candidate for the dems, especially if more centrist elements revolt against the deans and pelosis of the world. A beating in 2006 will go a long way towards fixing the democrat party, but i don't see it sadly, because the GOP has such weak candidates in OH, MT and PA.

 

[Avatar4321]

- Democrats will brag about how they will wipe the floor with Republicans in 2006 and then be dumbfounded when Republicans gain more power in both houses of Congress. and then start rioting.

- My sister will be married much to the shock of everyone else in the family.

- I will find true love.

- I will finish 5 semester of law school.

- Lots of death and violence...

 

[007]

I saw Angelina Jolie's lesbian ex... wow... she certainly doesn't like them feminine looking, does she? Definitely not an attractive woman... more like the sort that bays at the moon....

Well Karl, one of them has to assume the male role in the relationship, and wear the strap on.

 

[Annie]

http://www.indepundit.com/archive2/2005/12/my_meaningless.html

My Meaningless Predictions for 2006

I'M REALLY going out on a limb with some of these, but here goes:

...

Terrorism -- Facing a less permissive atmosphere in Iraq, al Qaeda begins to shift operations to the West Bank, southern Lebanon, and East Africa.

Terrorists bomb a public transportation hub in a European city. Several Islamic extremist groups claim responsibility. Europeans blame Bush.


Politics -- A politician is forced to resign after being indicted in a scandal involving trading votes for campaign contributions.

Democrats accuse President Bush of every crime under the sun -- and some openly discuss impeachment -- but nothing ever comes of it.

Republicans return to their fiscal-conservative roots by pushing for spending cuts (as long as the cuts don't include projects in their own districts).

Incumbent-safe districts mean that few seats change hands in the midterm elections, leaving the Republicans in control of Congress.

In December, Howard Dean resigns as DNC Chairman. He is replaced by a candidate favored by the centrist Democratic Leadership Committee. This marks the beginning of the Democrats' swing back towards the center, in advance of Hillary Clinton's 2008 Presidential run.

...

 

[LuvRPgrl]

USC will beat Texas in the Rose Bowl and win their third National Championship in a row. Even though I went to UCLA, I will pull for USC against the Longhorns. Mess with Texas!

If there is a God, then Duke will not win the NCAA basketball title.

The White Sox will not repeat as World Series champions. Sorry Beantown, it will be the Bronx Bombers.

USC and Texas in the rose bowl?????

SC will beat texas. Nobody can stop their running game. Reggie Bush is unbelievable.

 

[KarlMarx]

Steve Jobs just didn't realize that he started a revolution.....

I've said it before, I'll say it again, I believe that 2006 will prove me right...

Downloadable video content, as in TV shows and movies will take off in a big way... leaving the networks scrambling to find a new revenue model other than commercials.....

Think of it, download your favorite TV shows, movies and documentaries (for a price, of course), and get to keep them!

However, broadband Internet must become more widespread....

Within 10-15 years, downloadable TV shows will be the norm, not the exception...

We are in the midst of (and I hate using this phrase, honestly, I do!) a paradigm shift (argggh!!!! that was painful!!!!)

Move over Time Warner... here it comes!!!!