Political jokes

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Votto, Oct 23, 2019.

  1. bluzman61
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    bluzman61 Gold Member

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    What would you call someone with an I.Q. of 80 at a school with all liberal teachers and all liberal students? Valedictorian.
     
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  2. ChemEngineer
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    ChemEngineer VIP Member

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    Tarzan was swinging through the jungle vines when he fell into the river and his penis was bitten off by a crocodile before Tarzan could swim to shore. He rode a zebra to the hospital where surgeons tried to find a substitute for his lost manhood. All they could come up with was a trunk of a recently deceased elephant, so they sewed that on.

    Months later after recuperating, Tarzan returned to the hospital and the surgeon asked him how his new penis was working.

    Tarzan said "It's tremendous! And it's so sensitive and flexible. There's just one problem."

    Surgeon : "What's that?"

    Tarzan: "It keeps shoving hay up my ass."
     
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  3. ChemEngineer
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    ChemEngineer VIP Member

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    Bubba said Hillary had more girlfriends than he did.
     
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  4. bluzman61
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    bluzman61 Gold Member

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    Hilarious! Thanks for the post.
     
  5. ChemEngineer
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    ChemEngineer VIP Member

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    bluzman61 You most welcome, Friend. Now please this:

    The devil walked into a church one Sunday and everyone ran out the nearest door immediately except for one old man. He just sat in the pew with his arms crossed.
    Devil stormed over aid sneered, "Do you know who I am?"
    Old man: "I know who ya are."
    Devil: "Ain't you afraid of ME!"
    Old man: "Naw I ain't afraid of you!"
    Devil: "WHY NOT!"
    Old man: "Cause I been married to your sister for thirty-eight years!"

    Women LOVE this joke, I promise. It's as if to say, "And don't you forget how tough we are, Mister!"
     
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  6. bluzman61
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    bluzman61 Gold Member

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    Thanks for ANOTHER hilarious joke.
     
  7. ChemEngineer
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    ChemEngineer VIP Member

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    Bluzman61 is a great Bud of mine.

    Didja hear about the farmer asittin' on his front porch? A boy walks down the dirt road in front of his porch carrying a roll of chicken wire.
    Farmer: "Hey boy where ya goin' with that chicken wire?"
    Boy: "Gonna get me some chickens."
    Farmer: "You cain't catch no chickens with chicken wire!"
    An hour later, the boy returns in the other direction carrying two live, squawking chickens.

    Next day the boy is walking by and farmer says, "Hey boy, where ya goin' with that duck tape?"
    Boy: "Gonna get me some ducks."
    Farmer: "You cain't catch no ducks with duck tape."

    An hour later the boy walks back in the other direction carrying two live, honking ducks.
    Farmer scratches his head.

    Next day the boy is walking back down the dirt road.
    Farmer: "Hey boy where ya goin' with them sticks?"
    Boy: "These ain't sticks, these here is pussy willows."
    Farmer: "Hold on I'll get my hat and come with ya."
     
  8. SaxxyBlues
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    SaxxyBlues Gold Member

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  9. SaxxyBlues
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    SaxxyBlues Gold Member

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  10. SaxxyBlues
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