S
Sandy73
Guest
1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see
if it's really dead.
2. Never read a book of demon-summoning aloud, even as a joke.
3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.
4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which
they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot
of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several
rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who
speak with somebody else's voice.
5. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
6. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt.
This would apply to any other house of the dead as well.
7. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for
short-circuits; just get out.
8. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.
9. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good
reason for it. Don't stop and look around.
10. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you
know what you're doing.
11. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic
behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes,
increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.
12. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are
listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog
(you're in trouble if you recognize this one),anywhere in Texas
where chainsaws are sold, the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town
in Maine.
13. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road,
do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.
If you think that it is strange you ran out of gas because you
thought you had most of a tank, shoot yourself instead. You are
going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten.
14. Beware of strangers bearing tools. For example: chainsaws, staple
guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines,
lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any
devices made from deceased companions.
15. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the
time to move in with the in-laws.This also applies to houses that
had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died
in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic
practices.
16. Dress appropriately. When investigating a noise downstairs in an
old house, women should not wear a flimsy negligee. And carry a
flashlight, not a candle.
17. Do not go looking for witches in the Maryland countryside.
18. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and
find out that it's just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT!
HAVE A SAFE AND HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!
if it's really dead.
2. Never read a book of demon-summoning aloud, even as a joke.
3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.
4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which
they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot
of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several
rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who
speak with somebody else's voice.
5. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
6. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt.
This would apply to any other house of the dead as well.
7. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for
short-circuits; just get out.
8. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.
9. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good
reason for it. Don't stop and look around.
10. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you
know what you're doing.
11. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic
behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes,
increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.
12. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are
listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog
(you're in trouble if you recognize this one),anywhere in Texas
where chainsaws are sold, the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town
in Maine.
13. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road,
do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.
If you think that it is strange you ran out of gas because you
thought you had most of a tank, shoot yourself instead. You are
going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten.
14. Beware of strangers bearing tools. For example: chainsaws, staple
guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines,
lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any
devices made from deceased companions.
15. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the
time to move in with the in-laws.This also applies to houses that
had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died
in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic
practices.
16. Dress appropriately. When investigating a noise downstairs in an
old house, women should not wear a flimsy negligee. And carry a
flashlight, not a candle.
17. Do not go looking for witches in the Maryland countryside.
18. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and
find out that it's just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT!
HAVE A SAFE AND HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!
