Pizza in 2008

Discussion in 'Current Events' started by Mr. P, Jan 20, 2006.

  1. Mr. P
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    Mr. P Senior Member

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    If this didn’t seem as though it’s VERY possibly in the near future I’d have posted in Humor, but it’s really not funny.


    OPERATOR: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID
    number?

    CUSTOMER: Hi, I'd like to place an order.

    OPERATOR: I must have your NIDN first, sir.

    CUSTOMER: My National ID Number, yaeh, hold on, eh, it's
    6102049998-45-54610.

    OPERATOR: Thank you Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland
    Drive, and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at
    Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number is 266-2566. Email
    address is sheehan@home.net. Which number are you calling from sir?

    CUSTOMER: Huh? I'm at home. Where'd you get all this information?

    OPERATOR: We're wired into the HSS, sir.

    CUSTOMER: The HSS, what is that?

    OPERATOR: We're wired to the Homeland Security System, sir. This will
    add only 15 seconds to your ordering time.

    CUSTOMER: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat
    Special pizzas.

    OPERATOR: I don't think that's a good idea, sir.

    CUSTOMER: Whaddya mean?

    OPERATOR: Sir, our medical records and commode sensors indicate that
    you've got very high blood pressure and extrememly high cholesterol.
    Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice.

    CUSTOMER: What?!?!?! What do you recommend, then?

    OPERATOR: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll
    like it.

    CUSTOMER: What makes you think I'd like something like that?

    OPERATOR: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your
    local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.

    CUSTOMER: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.

    OPERATOR: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids.
    Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99.

    CUSTOMER: Lemme give you my credit card number.

    OPERATOR: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.
    Your credit card balance is over its limit.

    CUSTOMER: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver
    gets here.

    OPERATOR: That won't work either, sir. Your checking account is
    overdrawn also.

    CUSTOMER: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.
    How long will it take?

    OPERATOR: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45
    minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'up up while
    you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle
    can be a little awkward.

    CUSTOMER: Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?

    OPERATOR: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your
    car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the
    tank yesterday.

    CUSTOMER: Well, I'll be #%#^^&$^@#

    OPERATOR: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a
    July 4, 2003, conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see
    here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge.
    Oh yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State
    Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to
    society?

    CUSTOMER: (speechless)

    OPERATOR: Will there be anything else, sir?

    CUSTOMER: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke.

    OPERATOR: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us
    from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits
    this. Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.
     
  2. William Joyce
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    William Joyce Chemotherapy for PC

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    Sounds like a dream come true for the liberals and the neocons.
     
  3. Adam's Apple
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    Adam's Apple Senior Member

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    Totalitarianism extraordinaire. Even in jest, it’s a chilling thought.
     
  4. insein
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    insein Senior Member

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    Funny you should say that. The ACLU has been pushing this commercial as what The Bush Admin will do to us. Im sure their only problem with that scenario is that they arent the ones controlling it.
     
  5. Mr. P
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    Mr. P Senior Member

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    commercial? what,commercial?
     
  6. Mr. P
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    Mr. P Senior Member

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    I agree Adam. What’s really scary is how close we are to this being reality.

    We are moving closer and closer everyday to a paperless society. Electronic records will rule.

    We pay bills online
    Bank online
    Shop with credit cards
    Use the discount cards at the grocery
    Your SSI# is everywhere
    3 credit reporting agencies have ALL your info.
    The list is long………

    Yeah, just a matter of time, before everything about you/us will be in one big database.

    It just takes the right congress and Prez. to sign off on it. Then it’s a done deal.
     
  7. insein
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    insein Senior Member

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    There was an internet ad 2 years ago i saw and it was that exact dialogue and scenario read out on a screen with some pictures. At the end it said, "Tell your congressmen not to spy on you." So i did and it was apparently and ACLU mass email campaign.
     

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