If this didnt seem as though its VERY possibly in the near future Id have posted in Humor, but its really not funny. OPERATOR: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number? CUSTOMER: Hi, I'd like to place an order. OPERATOR: I must have your NIDN first, sir. CUSTOMER: My National ID Number, yaeh, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610. OPERATOR: Thank you Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number is 266-2566. Email address is firstname.lastname@example.org. Which number are you calling from sir? CUSTOMER: Huh? I'm at home. Where'd you get all this information? OPERATOR: We're wired into the HSS, sir. CUSTOMER: The HSS, what is that? OPERATOR: We're wired to the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time. CUSTOMER: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas. OPERATOR: I don't think that's a good idea, sir. CUSTOMER: Whaddya mean? OPERATOR: Sir, our medical records and commode sensors indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extrememly high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice. CUSTOMER: What?!?!?! What do you recommend, then? OPERATOR: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it. CUSTOMER: What makes you think I'd like something like that? OPERATOR: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion. CUSTOMER: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. OPERATOR: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids. Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99. CUSTOMER: Lemme give you my credit card number. OPERATOR: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit. CUSTOMER: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here. OPERATOR: That won't work either, sir. Your checking account is overdrawn also. CUSTOMER: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take? OPERATOR: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'up up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward. CUSTOMER: Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter? OPERATOR: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday. CUSTOMER: Well, I'll be #%#^^&$^@# OPERATOR: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 4, 2003, conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge. Oh yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society? CUSTOMER: (speechless) OPERATOR: Will there be anything else, sir? CUSTOMER: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke. OPERATOR: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this. Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.