Phoning Jason: A Capital Day (TrumpUSA)

Discussion in 'The Garage' started by Abishai100, Aug 27, 2018.

  1. Abishai100
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    Does capitalism make you worry about televangelists?

    This evangelism-oriented comic book stylized avatar-yarn was inspired by Sin City!




    :1peleas:

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    Americans were making very strange sci-fi horror-films which represented a new age paranoia regarding the subversion of networking and traffic customs, since, after all, this was the age of commerce and Wall Street. These sci-fi horror-films presented eerie creatures/monsters from the future and the deep which symbolized a general fear of invasion and hostility to new age idealism towards teamwork and trade. Why were these films psychologically necessary?

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    A pensive woman named Jane was very concerned that these films indicated a sudden danger regarding the 'volatility' of the human psyche and why simple/basic networking and globalization optimism was somehow simply too 'idealistic.' Jane prayed one night to God and asked that a 'demon-knight' be sent to Earth to deal with all this 'hysteria.' Jane's prayers were answered...

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    A demon-knight named Jason was sent to Earth as an answer to Jane's prayers. Jason came out of the abyss and rose out of a cemetery and donned a hockey-mask and took up a spear and headed out to 'cleanse' America and humanity of the turbulence Jane so feared. Jason was the answer to Jane's prayers --- he was devoted to revolution and humility. This was the demon-knight perhaps foretold in apocalyptic prophecies/texts such as Revelation.

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    Americans were indeed engaged in all kinds of modernism intrigue. The CIA was covertly coordinating a new age war with the Middle Eastern terrorist group ISIS and a rogue European terrorist group known as 'Cobra.' ISIS and Cobra wanted to undermine the computer networks and commercial infrastructures across Europe and Western Civilization, so there was a 'Great Tribulation' approaching. What would Jason be able to do?

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    As Jason decided to roam around the ancient city of China and take photographs of the golden city, he began contemplating the humanist value of the deification of 'child-emperors.' How were these 'infant-rulers' comparable to capitalism-avatars such as Little Orphan Annie and the Cabbage Patch Kids? Jason concluded that capitalism-defense required a serious meditation on the 'aesthetics' of power itself.

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    An evil spirit from Hell known as Medusa was also observing the activities of modern civilization and in particular America. Medusa noted that capitalism-oriented wars such as the Gulf War revealed a strange and hypnotic investment in competitiveness. However, Medusa did not know that the demon-knight Jason was also wandering around and 'observing' the deeds/activities of modern civilization and trying to create a 'dominion of order.' Medusa and Jason were about to confront each other and debate.

    MEDUSA: I'm here for intrigue; you're here as a minion!
    JASON: No; I serve the woman Jane's prayers; I'm on a mission.
    MEDUSA: You can't defy the reality of competitive savagery...
    JASON: No, but I can indeed defy the notion that apathy is 'normal.'
    MEDUSA: It is a peculiar fact that competitiveness is linked to lust.
    JASON: Are you implying that you can defeat me with lust?
    MEDUSA: Well, can you resist the charms of a beautiful woman such as myself?
    JASON: You may be attractive, but you have hair made of snakes...that's ominous!
    MEDUSA: How can you refuse me with basic morality?
    JASON: Well, like I explained --- I serve the prayers of Jane, not man or lust.
    MEDUSA: Capitalism will implode...
    JASON: My spear is one of destiny, not doom.
    MEDUSA: Jane prayed for you, since evil is real!
    JASON: Evil is a challenge; but that's why we honor vigilance.
    MEDUSA: Are you 'vigilant' about warfare?
    JASON: War is necessary and creates governance.
    MEDUSA: We'll see...


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    As Medusa departed from the spirit of Jason, Jason zipped to America and hunted down a ruthless L.A. crime-syndicate boss named Kingpin. Kingpin was using narcotics-traffic money to fund black munitions marketing to ISIS and Cobra, so Jason infiltrated his fortress/lair and pierced his heart with his spear of destiny. Jason then sent Kingpin's photo to the L.A. Times with the note, "Capitalism is for scholars." Kingpin was destroyed...

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    As the death of Kingpin undermined key resource-routes for ISIS and Cobra, American paramilitary forces known as 'G.I. Joes' managed to dismantle the terrorist groups' infrastructures and power-silos, and within one year, U.S. President Donald Trump was able to announce to the press (in a Twitter-tweet), "The great forces of democracy have conquered the shadow-menace of anti-globalization terrorism." President Trump had First Lady Melania Trump wear celebratory nifty red sunglasses for a press-shoot so he could advertise the notion that capitalism-diplomacy was not doomed.

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    As Jason concluded that Earth was more or less safe, he decided to return to his own realm in the abyss. The Gotham City police commissioner (James Gordon) effectively 'inherited' Jason's 'missionary-mantle' and began investigating the crime-circles that threatened modern urban hubs of commerce and industry. America would be once again a beacon of leadership, and Jane was relieved her prayers were answered. Jane decided to watch a few sci-fi horror-films on Netflix. The American city would not become a 'pit of claustrophobia.'

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    GOD: Jason has answered Jane's prayers...
    SATAN: Yes, America is a shining tower again!
    GOD: Capitalism so darn fragile.
    SATAN: That's why need vigilance and service.
    GOD: Do you like Commissioner Gordon?
    SATAN: I think he 'has what it takes.'
    GOD: In that case, let's enjoy some Super Bowl ads on YouTube!
    SATAN: Alright; there was a great Yale lecture about YouTube the other day.
    GOD: I'm sure it fascinated you...
    SATAN: Hey, I'm a fan of 'missionary-work' too.
    GOD: Let's hope no one else has to 'phone Jason.'
    SATAN: True; even Medusa is satisfied!
    GOD: A good day for capitalism is a capital day for TrumpUSA!
    SATAN: You should be a poet...
    GOD: I've always been a huge fan of comic book daydreams.
    SATAN: Maybe someone should make a movie about Donald Trump.
    GOD: Yes! Alec Baldwin portrays Trump in a political-biopic directed by Scorsese.
    SATAN: This is/was the 'Age of Exorcism.'


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