People who lie to you

[Care4all]

We have a commercial running here...a bunch of dudes playing basketball, a Championship basketball game...the ball got knocked out of bounds, the rep called it on going out via the hand of one team, but a player of the other team really knocked it out...and this player FESSED UP and said, "I touched the Ball" and all of his fellow players came down on him, really nasty and hard...saying, what the heck are you doing telling the TRUTH, basically....

But the kid told the truth and stuck by it, even against peer pressure....

Then in the end, the kid's coach told him, that he did the right thing, and thanked him...

and a voice over came on saying something like, "There is more to SPORTS than just winning...."

I was surprised that there had to be a TV commercial/ad TO TEACH young adults that telling the TRUTH was important, more important than winning a Sports game and part of sportsmanship...

Perhaps because we know we all lie, we are giving Lying a break, that it doesn't deserve....

We should always try to strive to tell the truth and should teach our offspring such imo...

 

[mudwhistle]

ok.

Would we live in a "better world" if people did not lie, or have to lie?

Would you want to live in a world without deceit?

Could you live in a world without deceit or deceivers?

I'm not sure some would feel comfortable in that world.

I would....but some may not.

 

[dilloduck]

We have a commercial running here...a bunch of dudes playing basketball, a Championship basketball game...the ball got knocked out of bounds, the rep called it on going out via the hand of one team, but a player of the other team really knocked it out...and this player FESSED UP and said, "I touched the Ball" and all of his fellow players came down on him, really nasty and hard...saying, what the heck are you doing telling the TRUTH, basically....

But the kid told the truth and stuck by it, even against peer pressure....

Then in the end, the kid's coach told him, that he did the right thing, and thanked him...

and a voice over came on saying something like, "There is more to SPORTS than just winning...."

I was surprised that there had to be a TV commercial/ad TO TEACH young adults that telling the TRUTH was important, more important than winning a Sports game and part of sportsmanship...

Perhaps because we know we all lie, we are giving Lying a break, that it doesn't deserve....

We should always try to strive to tell the truth and should teach our offspring such imo...

I prefer telling the truth cause of my ego. You look like an ass when caught in a lie. It's also easier to remember.

 

[Care4all]

there are 2 words, at least there was when I was a kid...(many, many, many moons ago)...FIBBING or Lying

A Fib is to keep from hurting someone elses feelings...not telling them their outfit is horrendous...

A Lie is usually about oneself, to give oneself a better appearance than the truth would, or to hide something that one knows is wrong....

 

[mudwhistle]

Holy shit, CG! To each his - or her - own, but that sounds like an awfully small way to live. Trust has to be earned of course, but to be so bitter and closed off to even that possibility especially at your age is to miss out on a big chunk of life. Ah well, it's your life!

Why assume I'm bitter? I am realistic. I miss out on nothing - I just don't get disappointed by people.... assume the worst, never be disappointed.

Assuming the worst tends to color your perceptions of people.

I figure it's best to let them show me what they are....not assume that they're messed up from the start.

I give just about everyone the benefit of the doubt till they prove otherwise. I'm not judgmental until someone gives me the shaft. Give them the rope they need to hang themselves and see if they do.

 

[dilloduck]

there are 2 words, at least there were when I was a kid...(many, many, many moons ago)...FIBBING or Lying

A Fib is to keep from hurting someone elses feelings...not telling them their outfit is horrendous...

A Lie is usually about oneself, to give oneself a better appearance than the truth would, or to hide something that one knows is wrong....

So if someone is walking around looking horrendous you wouldn't do them the favor of sharing your honest opinion ?

 

[goldcatt]

We have a commercial running here...a bunch of dudes playing basketball, a Championship basketball game...the ball got knocked out of bounds, the rep called it on going out via the hand of one team, but a player of the other team really knocked it out...and this player FESSED UP and said, "I touched the Ball" and all of his fellow players came down on him, really nasty and hard...saying, what the heck are you doing telling the TRUTH, basically....

But the kid told the truth and stuck by it, even against peer pressure....

Then in the end, the kid's coach told him, that he did the right thing, and thanked him...

and a voice over came on saying something like, "There is more to SPORTS than just winning...."

I was surprised that there had to be a TV commercial/ad TO TEACH young adults that telling the TRUTH was important, more important than winning a Sports game and part of sportsmanship...

Perhaps because we know we all lie, we are giving Lying a break, that it doesn't deserve....

We should always try to strive to tell the truth and should teach our offspring such imo...

On one hand, you're right. In most situations truth is not just important, it's everything.

I guess when I think of lying in general, it's taking into account all the many different little ways we lie, by omission more than comission, as part of the social graces - not just what I'd normally consider "deceit". I teach my kids to tell the truth, and I strive to do so in my own life. But we all know there are situations where tempering the truth, or keeping it to oneself, is important. If my broomriding boss asks me what I think of my job, if I want to keep it I'm not going to tell her the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Is that deceitful? Not to me, but again it's all about what you consider "deceit".

 

[dilloduck]

We have a commercial running here...a bunch of dudes playing basketball, a Championship basketball game...the ball got knocked out of bounds, the rep called it on going out via the hand of one team, but a player of the other team really knocked it out...and this player FESSED UP and said, "I touched the Ball" and all of his fellow players came down on him, really nasty and hard...saying, what the heck are you doing telling the TRUTH, basically....

But the kid told the truth and stuck by it, even against peer pressure....

Then in the end, the kid's coach told him, that he did the right thing, and thanked him...

and a voice over came on saying something like, "There is more to SPORTS than just winning...."

I was surprised that there had to be a TV commercial/ad TO TEACH young adults that telling the TRUTH was important, more important than winning a Sports game and part of sportsmanship...

Perhaps because we know we all lie, we are giving Lying a break, that it doesn't deserve....

We should always try to strive to tell the truth and should teach our offspring such imo...

On one hand, you're right. In most situations truth is not just important, it's everything.

I guess when I think of lying in general, it's taking into account all the many different little ways we lie, by omission more than comission, as part of the social graces - not just what I'd normally consider "deceit". I teach my kids to tell the truth, and I strive to do so in my own life. But we all know there are situations where tempering the truth, or keeping it to oneself, is important. If my broomriding boss asks me what I think of my job, if I want to keep it I'm not going to tell her the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Is that deceitful? Not to me, but again it's all about what you consider "deceit".

I'm not sure lying is so much a bad thing as it is something that can have some pretty harsh consequences in your life. Many lies (or fibs) done in the name of protecting yourself or others turn around and do the opposite and bite you in the ass. It's always a good excercise to think a lie through before you tell it-----do you really wanna have to live with with it forever ?

 

[goldcatt]

We have a commercial running here...a bunch of dudes playing basketball, a Championship basketball game...the ball got knocked out of bounds, the rep called it on going out via the hand of one team, but a player of the other team really knocked it out...and this player FESSED UP and said, "I touched the Ball" and all of his fellow players came down on him, really nasty and hard...saying, what the heck are you doing telling the TRUTH, basically....

But the kid told the truth and stuck by it, even against peer pressure....

Then in the end, the kid's coach told him, that he did the right thing, and thanked him...

and a voice over came on saying something like, "There is more to SPORTS than just winning...."

I was surprised that there had to be a TV commercial/ad TO TEACH young adults that telling the TRUTH was important, more important than winning a Sports game and part of sportsmanship...

Perhaps because we know we all lie, we are giving Lying a break, that it doesn't deserve....

We should always try to strive to tell the truth and should teach our offspring such imo...

On one hand, you're right. In most situations truth is not just important, it's everything.

I guess when I think of lying in general, it's taking into account all the many different little ways we lie, by omission more than comission, as part of the social graces - not just what I'd normally consider "deceit". I teach my kids to tell the truth, and I strive to do so in my own life. But we all know there are situations where tempering the truth, or keeping it to oneself, is important. If my broomriding boss asks me what I think of my job, if I want to keep it I'm not going to tell her the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Is that deceitful? Not to me, but again it's all about what you consider "deceit".

I'm not sure lying is so much a bad thing as it is something that can have some pretty harsh consequences in your life. Many lies (or fibs) done in the name of protecting yourself or others turn around and do the opposite and bite you in the ass. It's always a good excercise to think a lie through before you tell it-----do you really wanna have to live with with it forever ?

My opinion only, but the lies most people tell aren't the kind that turn around and bite you in the ass. Could you imagine if every time a person asked "How are you" or "What's up" in passing you gave the 100% honest answer?

"Fine" is what's customary and expected. And yet, if the answer really isn't "Fine" it's technically a lie.

 

[Care4all]

there are 2 words, at least there were when I was a kid...(many, many, many moons ago)...FIBBING or Lying

A Fib is to keep from hurting someone elses feelings...not telling them their outfit is horrendous...

A Lie is usually about oneself, to give oneself a better appearance than the truth would, or to hide something that one knows is wrong....

So if someone is walking around looking horrendous you wouldn't do them the favor of sharing your honest opinion ?

I would definitely share it with a relative or with a friend....not with an acquaintance...What if the acquaintance was wearing this big ugly shirt because they had a "bag for their waste" that they were trying to hide, due to losing half their colon from colon cancer surgery?

 

[dilloduck]

On one hand, you're right. In most situations truth is not just important, it's everything.

I guess when I think of lying in general, it's taking into account all the many different little ways we lie, by omission more than comission, as part of the social graces - not just what I'd normally consider "deceit". I teach my kids to tell the truth, and I strive to do so in my own life. But we all know there are situations where tempering the truth, or keeping it to oneself, is important. If my broomriding boss asks me what I think of my job, if I want to keep it I'm not going to tell her the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Is that deceitful? Not to me, but again it's all about what you consider "deceit".

I'm not sure lying is so much a bad thing as it is something that can have some pretty harsh consequences in your life. Many lies (or fibs) done in the name of protecting yourself or others turn around and do the opposite and bite you in the ass. It's always a good excercise to think a lie through before you tell it-----do you really wanna have to live with with it forever ?

My opinion only, but the lies most people tell aren't the kind that turn around and bite you in the ass. Could you imagine if every time a person asked "How are you" or "What's up" in passing you gave the 100% honest answer?

"Fine" is what's customary and expected. And yet, if the answer really isn't "Fine" it's technically a lie.

hair splitter
I don't ask certain people how there are cuz the truth is that I really don't give a shit.

 

[RadiomanATL]

Personal anecdote:

In my other "real" job, we make the newbies stand at the doors of the stores and greet customers as they walk in. One day, one of the noobs was standing there saying the usual "hey, nice to see you....thanks for coming in...How're ya doing today?" One of the customers turned around at this last one and said "Not too good today man...I just found out I got AIDS".

The new guy was absolutely speechless.




(BTW, the customer was just f'in with the new guy. Didn't really have AIDS)

 

[dilloduck]

I figure most people tend to hang around people who they can be most honest without being constantly judged. If you spill a bean or two they appreciate your friendship enough to keep it to themselves.
I read once where the more you tell other people about yourself and the more up to date you keep them, the more mentally stable you are. They respond to the real you and not a false image you have created and that feedback in turn strengthens you.

 

[goldcatt]

I'm not sure lying is so much a bad thing as it is something that can have some pretty harsh consequences in your life. Many lies (or fibs) done in the name of protecting yourself or others turn around and do the opposite and bite you in the ass. It's always a good excercise to think a lie through before you tell it-----do you really wanna have to live with with it forever ?

My opinion only, but the lies most people tell aren't the kind that turn around and bite you in the ass. Could you imagine if every time a person asked "How are you" or "What's up" in passing you gave the 100% honest answer?

"Fine" is what's customary and expected. And yet, if the answer really isn't "Fine" it's technically a lie.

hair splitter
I don't ask certain people how there are cuz the truth is that I really don't give a shit.

I don't know about splitting hairs. Just making my point that we all lie, a lot of us on a regular basis, but in ways that aren't deceitful. Drawing that line in the sand and saying "One lie and you're done" is an overly simplistic way of looking at things. Now, "Break my trust one time and you're done" is something completely different.

 

[mudwhistle]

Personal anecdote:

In my other "real" job, we make the newbies stand at the doors of the stores and greet customers as they walk in. One day, one of the noobs was standing there saying the usual "hey, nice to see you....thanks for coming in...How're ya doing today?" One of the customers turned around at this last one and said "Not too good today man...I just found out I got AIDS".

The new guy was absolutely speechless.




(BTW, the customer was just f'in with the new guy. Didn't really have AIDS)

Ha...ha...ha......That's funny......in San Francisco that's about as funny as yelling "******" in a black church.

In Clarksville all you get is blank stares.

 

[Dis]

For the record, yea, women are equally as bad as men. I tend to trust completely only those that are related to me by blood.

Guaranteed that they've lied to you, too, whether you want to admit it or not. It may have been a small, insignificant (to you) lie, but they've lied nonetheless.

Anyone that states they've never lied, or have never been lied to is lying.

Period.

Absolutely. Follow the 10% bullshit rule in most situations and you're probably doing all right. But while courtesy even sometimes demands a white lie or an occasional tall tale and everyone does it, not everybody betrays trust. There's a big difference.

True.. But betraying trust is another issue entirely, and much more important in the grand scheme of things.

 

[RadiomanATL]

Personal anecdote:

In my other "real" job, we make the newbies stand at the doors of the stores and greet customers as they walk in. One day, one of the noobs was standing there saying the usual "hey, nice to see you....thanks for coming in...How're ya doing today?" One of the customers turned around at this last one and said "Not too good today man...I just found out I got AIDS".

The new guy was absolutely speechless.




(BTW, the customer was just f'in with the new guy. Didn't really have AIDS)

Ha...ha...ha......That's funny......in San Francisco that's about as funny as yelling "******" in a black church.

In Clarksville all you get is blank stares.

 

[dilloduck]

Guaranteed that they've lied to you, too, whether you want to admit it or not. It may have been a small, insignificant (to you) lie, but they've lied nonetheless.

Anyone that states they've never lied, or have never been lied to is lying.

Period.

Absolutely. Follow the 10% bullshit rule in most situations and you're probably doing all right. But while courtesy even sometimes demands a white lie or an occasional tall tale and everyone does it, not everybody betrays trust. There's a big difference.

True.. But betraying trust is another issue entirely, and much more important in the grand scheme of things.

agreed-----and if the other person is willing to humbly apologize and explain the betrayal of trust I may give em another shot at it ---or not.

 

[goldcatt]

Absolutely. Follow the 10% bullshit rule in most situations and you're probably doing all right. But while courtesy even sometimes demands a white lie or an occasional tall tale and everyone does it, not everybody betrays trust. There's a big difference.

True.. But betraying trust is another issue entirely, and much more important in the grand scheme of things.

agreed-----and if the other person is willing to humbly apologize and explain the betrayal of trust I may give em another shot at it ---or not.

Depends what it is. I can't think of too many real betrayals I could forgive with just an apology and explanation. Once trust is broken it takes a hell of a lot to restore it - if it ever can be. I'd listen, and I hate to say "never", but I can't see it realistically happening.

 

[dilloduck]

True.. But betraying trust is another issue entirely, and much more important in the grand scheme of things.

agreed-----and if the other person is willing to humbly apologize and explain the betrayal of trust I may give em another shot at it ---or not.

Depends what it is. I can't think of too many real betrayals I could forgive with just an apology and explanation. Once trust is broken it takes a hell of a lot to restore it - if it ever can be. I'd listen, and I hate to say "never", but I can't see it realistically happening.

Well tell me a deep dark secret and let's see how it works out