Pence asks Jesus to rapture him up before Mueller can indict him

[DrLove]

I heard through the grapevine that along with Jared -- Sessions, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Mnuchen and Wilbur Ross have already been denied.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Vice-President Mike Pence has requested that Jesus Christ rapture him up before the special counsel Robert Mueller can indict him, a source close to Pence confirmed on Friday.

Shortly after the former national-security adviser Michael Flynn pleaded guilty to lying to the F.B.I., Pence contacted Jesus to discuss the early rapture proposal, the source said.

The source characterized Pence’s request to be raptured up as “urgent” but did not indicate whether the Vice-President asked Jesus to rapture up any other senior Administration officials.

“Some of these people will have to be left behind, for obvious reasons,” the source said. “Jared, for example.”

After the news of Pence’s conversation with Jesus leaked to the press, the Vice-President released an official statement, intended to tamp down speculation about his rapture request.

“I had a good conversation with Jesus Christ earlier in the day,” the statement read. “We touched on the timetable of my rapturing-up, along with a broad range of other issues. That is all I have to say at the present time.”​

Pence Asks Jesus to Rapture Him Up Before Mueller Can Indict Him

 

[EvilCat Breath]

In reality Mueller is starting to lose investigators. The first had to leave because of anti Trump bias. The first of many.

Mueller Removed Top F.B.I. Agent Over Possible Anti-Trump Texts

As the investigation starts to unravel.

 

[EvilCat Breath]

I heard through the grapevine that along with Jared -- Sessions, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Mnuchen and Wilbur Ross have already been denied.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Vice-President Mike Pence has requested that Jesus Christ rapture him up before the special counsel Robert Mueller can indict him, a source close to Pence confirmed on Friday.

Shortly after the former national-security adviser Michael Flynn pleaded guilty to lying to the F.B.I., Pence contacted Jesus to discuss the early rapture proposal, the source said.

The source characterized Pence’s request to be raptured up as “urgent” but did not indicate whether the Vice-President asked Jesus to rapture up any other senior Administration officials.

“Some of these people will have to be left behind, for obvious reasons,” the source said. “Jared, for example.”

After the news of Pence’s conversation with Jesus leaked to the press, the Vice-President released an official statement, intended to tamp down speculation about his rapture request.

“I had a good conversation with Jesus Christ earlier in the day,” the statement read. “We touched on the timetable of my rapturing-up, along with a broad range of other issues. That is all I have to say at the present time.”​

Pence Asks Jesus to Rapture Him Up Before Mueller Can Indict Him

You really believe this don't you?

Gads I hope so.

 

[ABikerSailor]

Yo Tipsy, if the investigation is unraveling, then why has Flynn plead guilty?

 

[EverCurious]

Because Flynn lied under oath, duh. I guess ya'll (D's) wouldn't understand that so much cause Clinton walked despite it (both of em.) Now you get to watch how it goes as these folks (Rs) are put in jail for it. Sadly you'll never see the hypocrisy because ya'll are a part of it.

 

[DrLove]

You really believe this don't you?

Gads I hope so.

Satire ALWAYS lost on Tipsy

 

[DrLove]

In reality Mueller is starting to lose investigators. The first had to leave because of anti Trump bias. The first of many.

Mueller Removed Top F.B.I. Agent Over Possible Anti-Trump Texts

As the investigation starts to unravel.

That was last SUMMER - LoL .. "unravel" my ass