Partisanship and kids' friends?

[Caligirl]

So my kid goes to a birthday party this weekend for a new best friend. This is a kid that is new to our school this year. The new best friend asks my daughter to sleepover, and she does, and I pick her up the next morning and at pickup it looks like everyone is happy and having a good time.

So today (Tuesday) I learn that this friend is now ignoring my daughter, yesterday and today, and pretending the sleepover never happened. It is very weird. These girls have known each other pretty well through the school year, been friends all along, and seemed to have a good time with each other - my daughter is the *only* kid from school that this kid wanted to invite to the party.

The only thing I could think may have happened to change this kid's behavior to my daughter, was that the parents realized I was not of their political views and have pressured their daughter to drop my daughter as a friend. They had nothing but kind words for my daughter previously, and so it is weird to think that they would be so immature (or something) as to take such a reaction.

Do you think that people with extreme poliotical views are likely to encourage their kids to avoid kids from families with other political views? Is it hard for republicans to be around democrats now moreso than four years ago?

I am very confused. And feeling very hurt for this unecessary treatment of my daughter. Maybe it is not political or parental at all. Any thoughts?

 

[dilloduck]

So my kid goes to a birthday party this weekend for a new best friend. This is a kid that is new to our school this year. The new best friend asks my daughter to sleepiver, and she does, and I pick her up the next morning and at pickup it looks like everyone is happy and having a good time.

So today (Tuesday) I learn that this friend is now ignoring my daughter, yesterday and today, and pretending the sleepover never happened. It is very weird. These girls have known each other pretty well through the school year, been friends all along, and seemed to have a good time with each other - my daughter is the *only* kid from school that this kid wanted to invite to the party.

The only thing I could think may have happened to change this kid's behavior to my daughter, was that the parents realized I was not of their political views and have pressured their daughter to drop my daughter as a friend. They had nothing but kind words for my daughter previously, and so it is weird to think that they would be so immature (or something) as to take such a reaction.

Do you think that people with extreme poliotical views are likely to encourage their kids to avoid kids from families with other poliotical views? Is it hard for republicans to be around democrats now moreso than four years ago?

I am very confused.

call them up and find out the facts.

 

[random3434]

That is so weird!

How old is your daughter?

Did you ask her if anything happened at the sleep over? Did the friend do/say something she is embarrassed about, or did your daughter? (tho we know our kids never do anything wrong....)

I can't imagine adults that would not let their children play with others because their mommy voted for McCain or Obama. That is just too immature and freaky! If that's the reason, maybe they should go back to middle school!

 

[Caligirl]

So my kid goes to a birthday party this weekend for a new best friend. This is a kid that is new to our school this year. The new best friend asks my daughter to sleepiver, and she does, and I pick her up the next morning and at pickup it looks like everyone is happy and having a good time.

So today (Tuesday) I learn that this friend is now ignoring my daughter, yesterday and today, and pretending the sleepover never happened. It is very weird. These girls have known each other pretty well through the school year, been friends all along, and seemed to have a good time with each other - my daughter is the *only* kid from school that this kid wanted to invite to the party.

The only thing I could think may have happened to change this kid's behavior to my daughter, was that the parents realized I was not of their political views and have pressured their daughter to drop my daughter as a friend. They had nothing but kind words for my daughter previously, and so it is weird to think that they would be so immature (or something) as to take such a reaction.

Do you think that people with extreme poliotical views are likely to encourage their kids to avoid kids from families with other poliotical views? Is it hard for republicans to be around democrats now moreso than four years ago?

I am very confused.

call them up and find out the facts.

that was plan A but my daughter said she definitely did not want me to do that, so I am starting with plan B (you guys) and C (an email to the teacher) and D (a phone call to a different, evangelical, friend to ask in general how the evangelicals in town are feeling about democrats these days) ....

... these are plans which I am doing without trying to obtain clearance from my daughter first. I hope to return to plan A..... in a couple days... when I have permission.....

 

[Caligirl]

That is so weird!

How old is your daughter?

Did you ask her if anything happened at the sleep over? Did the friend do/say something she is embarrassed about, or did your daughter? (tho we know our kids never do anything wrong....)

I can't imagine adults that would not let their children play with others because their mommy voted for McCain or Obama.

I know - I know. But I was also surprised a few months ago (pre-election) to learn that this girl's mom "hates" obama. Hates! that's pretty immature too, I'd say.

That is just too immature and freaky! If that's the reason, maybe they should go back to middle school!

Yeah... I know, I mean if it is the reason, then better off without that in my kid's life, but I do like to think that we can be friends with people we disagree with......

My daughter is 12. I asked all the questions, to the point that she got very frustrated with me. It is possible that something will come out at bedtime tonight.

 

[dilloduck]

So my kid goes to a birthday party this weekend for a new best friend. This is a kid that is new to our school this year. The new best friend asks my daughter to sleepiver, and she does, and I pick her up the next morning and at pickup it looks like everyone is happy and having a good time.

So today (Tuesday) I learn that this friend is now ignoring my daughter, yesterday and today, and pretending the sleepover never happened. It is very weird. These girls have known each other pretty well through the school year, been friends all along, and seemed to have a good time with each other - my daughter is the *only* kid from school that this kid wanted to invite to the party.

The only thing I could think may have happened to change this kid's behavior to my daughter, was that the parents realized I was not of their political views and have pressured their daughter to drop my daughter as a friend. They had nothing but kind words for my daughter previously, and so it is weird to think that they would be so immature (or something) as to take such a reaction.

Do you think that people with extreme poliotical views are likely to encourage their kids to avoid kids from families with other poliotical views? Is it hard for republicans to be around democrats now moreso than four years ago?

I am very confused.

call them up and find out the facts.

that was plan A but my daughter said she definitely did not want me to do that, so I am starting with plan B (you guys) and C (an email to the teacher) and D (a phone call to a different, evangelical, friend to ask in general how the evangelicals in town are feeling about democrats these days) ....

... these are plans which I am doing without trying to obtain clearance from my daughter first. I hope to return to plan A..... in a couple days... when I have permission.....

good plan---step on you're daughters toes and you'll be kicked out of the house.
I think there are too may possiblities for the snubbing right now to come to any conclusions.

 

[random3434]

That is so weird!

How old is your daughter?

Did you ask her if anything happened at the sleep over? Did the friend do/say something she is embarrassed about, or did your daughter? (tho we know our kids never do anything wrong....)

I can't imagine adults that would not let their children play with others because their mommy voted for McCain or Obama.

I know - I know. But I was also surprised a few months ago (pre-election) to learn that this girl's mom "hates" obama. Hates! that's pretty immature too, I'd say.

That is just too immature and freaky! If that's the reason, maybe they should go back to middle school!

Yeah... I know, I mean if it is the reason, then better off without that in my kid's life, but I do like to think that we can be friends with people we disagree with......

My daughter is 12. I asked all the questions, to the point that she got very frustrated with me. It is possible that something will come out at bedtime tonight.

Please, politics should NEVER interfere with children's friendships. If those parents are that shallow, I feel sorry for their daughter!


Though, it could be for another reason, and your daughter doesn't want to tell you (but she may later) Trust me, I know, remember mini-Echo is 13! She is pretty open and honest with me, but sometimes would rather keep social "spats" she has had to herself....but then eventually comes to me for advice.

 

[007]

So my kid goes to a birthday party this weekend for a new best friend. This is a kid that is new to our school this year. The new best friend asks my daughter to sleepover, and she does, and I pick her up the next morning and at pickup it looks like everyone is happy and having a good time.

So today (Tuesday) I learn that this friend is now ignoring my daughter, yesterday and today, and pretending the sleepover never happened. It is very weird. These girls have known each other pretty well through the school year, been friends all along, and seemed to have a good time with each other - my daughter is the *only* kid from school that this kid wanted to invite to the party.

The only thing I could think may have happened to change this kid's behavior to my daughter, was that the parents realized I was not of their political views and have pressured their daughter to drop my daughter as a friend. They had nothing but kind words for my daughter previously, and so it is weird to think that they would be so immature (or something) as to take such a reaction.

Do you think that people with extreme poliotical views are likely to encourage their kids to avoid kids from families with other political views? Is it hard for republicans to be around democrats now moreso than four years ago?

I am very confused. And feeling very hurt for this unecessary treatment of my daughter. Maybe it is not political or parental at all. Any thoughts?

Number one, I would think your daughter HAS to have an idea what happened. Did you grill your daugther about what they talked about? That should give you an idea. (What gave you the impression it's over politics?)

Number two... ahem... it's over a boy.

 

[PoliticalChic]

I know how you feel. Nothing hurts us more when our own children are hurt. It is hard to believe that adults would poison the relationship of the children.

It is also entirely possible that the girlfriend is acting just like a child. One moment liking your daughter very much and the next moment finding some reason not to like her.

I am curious to know how your daughter's girlfriend's parents became aware how different your political views were and how heated the discussion was.

 

[random3434]

Number two... ahem... it's over a boy.

Do'h!


Duh, the boy thing.....good call Pale Rider!

 

[Caligirl]

Well, it could be a boy but I doubt it - One likes Legolas and the other likes Eragon.


The politics didn't come up in a heated way, but all the 12 year olds are heavy into social studies right now, they have to memorize the oath, they watched the inauguration, so who voted for who and why is a playground topic. This family "hates" obama - I drive a Prius, talked about environmental issues at the party - some of the evangelicals at the party were going on about gay marriage, it was that sort of scene. We talked about Japan (some military at the party) and their revisionist history as regards WWII. I don't think I said anything offensive past the fact that I compost stuff, but I do get pegged as an enviro-nut pretty quick and the prius sort of tips off the Obama vote, and besides the kids talk about it.

There is just a very heavy evangelical streak in the community. So not really knowing why this girl has gotten cold all of a sudden, I am grasping at straws and trying to ask if this makes sense.

Let me put it this way - when Bush won in 2004, I was drunk for a month and couldn't stomach the W bumper stickers. I considered bush to be the antichrist. I still kept up friendships with established evangelical friends, but made no new such friends and it was tough going for a while. I tried to keep a low profile and certainly did not prohibit friendships or anything like that, but it was hard to see the red pride around school when Bush was reelected.

So I wonder if there is a reverse sort of thing, some evangelicals/etc thinking Obama is the antichrist and not wanting their kids around families that put the guy over the top.

So far I get the feeling from both sides of the political spectrum that this is unlikely. I am conforted! We'll see what develops.

 

[007]

Well, it could be a boy but I doubt it - One likes Legolas and the other likes Eragon.


The politics didn't come up in a heated way, but all the 12 year olds are heavy into social studies right now, they have to memorize the oath, they watched the inauguration, so who voted for who and why is a playground topic. This family "hates" obama - I drive a Prius, talked about environmental issues at the party - some of the evangelicals at the party were going on about gay marriage, it was that sort of scene. We talked about Japan (some military at the party) and their revisionist history as regards WWII. I don't think I said anything offensive past the fact that I compost stuff, but I do get pegged as an enviro-nut pretty quick and the prius sort of tips off the Obama vote, and besides the kids talk about it.

There is just a very heavy evangelical streak in the community. So not really knowing why this girl has gotten cold all of a sudden, I am grasping at straws and trying to ask if this makes sense.

Let me put it this way - when Bush won in 2004, I was drunk for a month and couldn't stomach the W bumper stickers. I considered bush to be the antichrist. I still kept up friendships with established evangelical friends, but made no new such friends and it was tough going for a while. I tried to keep a low profile and certainly did not prohibit friendships or anything like that, but it was hard to see the red pride around school when Bush was reelected.

So I wonder if there is a reverse sort of thing, some evangelicals/etc thinking Obama is the antichrist and not wanting their kids around families that put the guy over the top.

So far I get the feeling from both sides of the political spectrum that this is unlikely. I am conforted! We'll see what develops.

Well if these neighbors were aware of your political leanings BEFORE the party, then I still don't see why NOW they have a problem. It just seems like something is missing in this story.

And one of the most fickle creators on earth is a teenage girl. She might like so and so today, and then over night have a crush on another so and so. I still think it could be a boy, because the 'problem' seems to have arisen from when your daughter stayed overnight. Those 'girls' talked about something...

 

[dilloduck]

Well, it could be a boy but I doubt it - One likes Legolas and the other likes Eragon.


The politics didn't come up in a heated way, but all the 12 year olds are heavy into social studies right now, they have to memorize the oath, they watched the inauguration, so who voted for who and why is a playground topic. This family "hates" obama - I drive a Prius, talked about environmental issues at the party - some of the evangelicals at the party were going on about gay marriage, it was that sort of scene. We talked about Japan (some military at the party) and their revisionist history as regards WWII. I don't think I said anything offensive past the fact that I compost stuff, but I do get pegged as an enviro-nut pretty quick and the prius sort of tips off the Obama vote, and besides the kids talk about it.

There is just a very heavy evangelical streak in the community. So not really knowing why this girl has gotten cold all of a sudden, I am grasping at straws and trying to ask if this makes sense.

Let me put it this way - when Bush won in 2004, I was drunk for a month and couldn't stomach the W bumper stickers. I considered bush to be the antichrist. I still kept up friendships with established evangelical friends, but made no new such friends and it was tough going for a while. I tried to keep a low profile and certainly did not prohibit friendships or anything like that, but it was hard to see the red pride around school when Bush was reelected.

So I wonder if there is a reverse sort of thing, some evangelicals/etc thinking Obama is the antichrist and not wanting their kids around families that put the guy over the top.

So far I get the feeling from both sides of the political spectrum that this is unlikely. I am conforted! We'll see what develops.

well----being drunk for a month last time didn't seem to hurt---give it another shot !

 

[Caligirl]

LOL I can't drink anymore sadly enough, or I would! Kills my GI tract now.

Well the mystery is at least partly solved - apparently the girl had not meant for my daughter to stay the night. She had planned a one-on-one sleepover with a friend she hadn't seen in a long time. The mom asked my daughter to stay, turning it into a 3-person sleepover - My daughter really wanted to stay, so I said sure why not, but the birthday girl felt jipped out of the one-on-one sleepover - And my daughter does tend to get a little rowdy when her routine is disrupted --- So it all sort of makes sense now.

No political agenda, thankfully!

Anyway, we'll see what tomorrow brings, we talked about some possible ways to get the friendsip back on track, a simple "I'm sorry" topping the list.

 

[dilloduck]

Way to go , Mom !

 

[random3434]

LOL I can't drink anymore sadly enough, or I would! Kills my GI tract now.

Well the mystery is at least partly solved - apparently the girl had not meant for my daughter to stay the night. She had planned a one-on-one sleepover with a friend she hadn't seen in a long time. The mom asked my daughter to stay, turning it into a 3-person sleepover - My daughter really wanted to stay, so I said sure why not, but the birthday girl felt jipped out of the one-on-one sleepover - And my daughter does tend to get a little rowdy when her routine is disrupted --- So it all sort of makes sense now.

No political agenda, thankfully!

Anyway, we'll see what tomorrow brings, we talked about some possible ways to get the friendship back on track, a simple "I'm sorry" topping the list.

Yep, it sounds like jealousy on the girls part. The one friend probably said, "Dump mini-Caligirl, I'm your best friend" or something along those lines. Remember, girls can be cruel little creatures too........




Thank goodness as we grow up we women aren't like that!

 

[dilloduck]

ya sure

 

[FistyTheBadger]

So my kid goes to a birthday party this weekend for a new best friend. This is a kid that is new to our school this year. The new best friend asks my daughter to sleepiver, and she does, and I pick her up the next morning and at pickup it looks like everyone is happy and having a good time.

So today (Tuesday) I learn that this friend is now ignoring my daughter, yesterday and today, and pretending the sleepover never happened. It is very weird. These girls have known each other pretty well through the school year, been friends all along, and seemed to have a good time with each other - my daughter is the *only* kid from school that this kid wanted to invite to the party.

The only thing I could think may have happened to change this kid's behavior to my daughter, was that the parents realized I was not of their political views and have pressured their daughter to drop my daughter as a friend. They had nothing but kind words for my daughter previously, and so it is weird to think that they would be so immature (or something) as to take such a reaction.

Do you think that people with extreme poliotical views are likely to encourage their kids to avoid kids from families with other poliotical views? Is it hard for republicans to be around democrats now moreso than four years ago?

I am very confused.

call them up and find out the facts.

that was plan A but my daughter said she definitely did not want me to do that, so I am starting with plan B (you guys) and C (an email to the teacher) and D (a phone call to a different, evangelical, friend to ask in general how the evangelicals in town are feeling about democrats these days) ....

... these are plans which I am doing without trying to obtain clearance from my daughter first. I hope to return to plan A..... in a couple days... when I have permission.....

Your daughter doesn't want you to do that? Your daughter doesn't want you to do that!? Who the bloody hell cares what your strumpeet of a daughter thinks, you stunned and disoriented kiwi-vole!

 

[007]

I so wanted to say it wasn't political at the very beginning of this, but I didn't, so I am now...

 

[PoliticalChic]

Caligirl, on a more personal note: You and I have completely opposite worldviews, but I would never interfere if your daughter and mine had a friendship.

If the girlfriend is just being fickle, your daughter might take a chance and call her as if nothing happened and see what happens. If there is still a problem, I would suspect the parents were behind the problem.