Parents of Special Needs Children

[Dis]

My guess is that asking parents of special needs kids if their kids are defective are only going to get you opinions that agree with your own, since they've all kept their children. But, what about those that haven't kept them?

Asking society as a whole if they're considered defective might open another whole can of worms, and might be a bit enlightening, if one can get over the emotional aspect of the conversation, and think/speak with an open mind, and complete honesty.

If you read the first post of mine on here, you see that I have asked anyone to comment, which some did who are NOT parents of special needs kids.

I am TRYING to not get so emotional about this, as I said to xsited in another post.

Thanks for your concern.

Now, you've commented on the way I've asked the question, what are your comments about the question itself?

You've already admitted you're too close to the situation to refrain from blowing a gasket (as further evidenced by your post above), so it's likely you don't want my opinion right this moment.

I'm simply saying that over all I think society as a *whole* considers them defective. If they didn't, more parents would be willing to keep them, and even moreso would be willing to adopt them, or serve as foster parents.

 

[Dis]

my friend refered to himself as a lemon the other day because he has certain health issues. Everyone has something "wrong" about them. With some people the thing that is different about them can just be more serious than others. I was born with bad ankles and I have spinal defect. I wonder if my parents think I am defective.

Wrong comparison. You don't need totally specialized care, and you're not dependent upon such to function in a normal society.

 

[random3434]

Learning for Life





Connecting Hope - Special Needs Directory and Resources


Some good resources.

 

[Luissa]

my friend refered to himself as a lemon the other day because he has certain health issues. Everyone has something "wrong" about them. With some people the thing that is different about them can just be more serious than others. I was born with bad ankles and I have spinal defect. I wonder if my parents think I am defective.

Wrong comparison. You don't need totally specialized care, and you're not dependent upon such to function in a normal society.

I was joking! But no one is perfect!

 

[Annie]

Or anyone else for that matter. What do you think about these comments from the Rat Man? {Korimyr the Rat} I may be too close to the situation to comment to him right now without blowing a gasket. Thought I would get some parent's (or anyone else that wants to chime in) comments.


{this is from the adoption thread btw}

This is me replying to Rat Boy about his comments about "defective children"

Quote: Originally Posted by Echo Zulu
WHAT IN PRAY TELL IS A DEFECTIVE CHILD? One who is not "perfect?"

Rat Boy:
Noone is perfect. But the rest of the post indicates that you seem to know exactly what I am talking about. Doesn't seem to have been much point to asking me this question, except to attempt to argue that the children in question are not defective.

Considering the fact that, in order to be defective, a child must suffer from "birth defects" or "congenital deformities", I think trying to argue that they are not defective is an exercise in absurdity.


Quote: Originally Posted by Echo Zulu
Why don't you ask the parents here of special needs kids if they consider their children "defective."

Rat Boy:
Because I know how much they have sacrificed for their children, and that they love their children very much, and the very last thing that I would ever want to do is compound their tragedy by belittling them or by offending them any more than I can avoid. I am sincerely sorry that my opinion is so offensive to so many people, especially to people in a very difficult situation.

But that doesn't change the fact that I believe I'm right, and that all of the money and manpower that we spend on trying to give these people a "normal" life is a terrible waste. Telling them that they can have a normal life, and that they can do anything that normal people can do, is neither fair to them nor to all of the people who have to help them try to accomplish the impossible.


Quote: Originally Posted by Echo Zulu
Oh, and while you're at it, ask them when they think they will turn their children over to be 'wards of the state.'

Rat Boy:
From my experience, it's either within a couple of years of their child's eighteenth birthday, or when they realize that they are too old (or their finances too depleted) to continue caring for them. I am sure that those in the latter category would love to continue caring for their children forever-- but they're not going to live forever, and after they die their children are not miraculously going to become capable of taking care of themselves.

I need links!


Here:


http://www.usmessageboard.com/health-and-lifestyle/74438-qualified-to-adopt-4.html

 

[Luissa]

speaking of, I wonder whatever happened to kid that played Corky thatcher. That kid made more out of life than most "normal" people do.

 

[Annie]

Two special needs kids here!

It looks like Rat Boy is making some valid points, but you are focusing on one thing that bothers you and end up blowing a gasket in the process. Sometimes you get too emotional to discuss a topic. Best to walk away.

I know I do get too emotional, that's why I wanted some parents opinions.


I won't make any more comments until some reply. Maybe I'm over reacting? That's why I want the PARENTS to comment. I'm just a teacher of special needs kids, and I DON'T consider them defective......................

I'm trying to get bearings here, seems a carry over from another thread.

Ok, unlike EZ, I'm responding as a 'regular classroom teacher', albeit in parochial school. Mind you turds that want to say 'cherry picking' with private schools, I know EZ will back me when saying we deal with some of the same serious cases, without the benefit of trained staff, such as EZ, or psychologists, speech and occupational therapists, much less aids.

In my 10 years of teaching, there were only 3 kids that I felt we'd truly failed. One of them was accepted at a private high school. All their parents from 3rd grade on were advised to test; all of them did; and move them; none did. The public schools where they may have gotten help.

With that said, the public schools in MY AREA are trying to mainstream wherever possible. Even when they can't, NCLB nails them to a cross. We are hitting critical mass, the demand that all kids succeed, while demanding the schools teach to to the unteachable. It's all so wrong.

 

[Red Dawn]

Rat boy, you look like you rode the short bus to school, and got atomic wedgies from the jocks. Is self-loathing the basis of your hate for special needs kids?

 

[random3434]

speaking of, I wonder whatever happened to kid that played Corky thatcher. That kid made more out of life than most "normal" people do.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chris_Burke_(actor)



Here, some info on Down Syndrome:


National Association for Down Syndrome

 

[Seraega]

Two special needs kids here!

It looks like Rat Boy is making some valid points, but you are focusing on one thing that bothers you and end up blowing a gasket in the process. Sometimes you get too emotional to discuss a topic. Best to walk away.

I know I do get too emotional, that's why I wanted some parents opinions.


I won't make any more comments until some reply. Maybe I'm over reacting? That's why I want the PARENTS to comment. I'm just a teacher of special needs kids, and I DON'T consider them defective......................

Yes, you do get too emotional. I've seen it happen on numerous occassions. When you get into this state, you overreact, stop seeing things clearly and attack the poster with accusations that are not always true.

Yes, I am a parent of special needs kids (as I clearly stated). No, wouldn't call them defective, but let's take a look at the definition of the word 'defective':

"...falling below the norm in structure or in mental or physical function."

That's a special needs kid. How do you think we lost one of our children due to a serious genetic disease? Did that just happen because they were perfect in every way?

No, I would never call them defective nor even consider them defective. As I've told them many times, "God doesn't make junk." We are all here for a reason. Love binds us together. Our differences make us great. But special needs kids need special attention. They are clearly not the norm. They can achieve greatness and many do. Don't ever call them defective, but accept the fact that they are different.

Have you and your partner been tested to see if this is just random chance, or if there is some reason why this is happening? I only ask because as I posted above my best friend and his wife want to have 4-5 kids, and even though they both have terrible genes and their first kid is not doing so well they're continuing to try for more! I just don't understand that. I'm really trying to come to grasp this because they're having a really hard time with 1 kid. I can't imagine how they're going to cope with more.

 

[alan1]

Rat boy, you look like you rode the short bus to school, and got atomic wedgies from the jocks. Is self-loathing the basis of your hate for special needs kids?

Your comments about his looks are such an effective and compelling argument.
Not.

 

[Luissa]

speaking of the issue of birth defects, if people can they should donate to the shriners. I know here where I live they are talking about maybe having to close the shriner's hospital.

 

[Korimyr the Rat]

Or anyone else for that matter. What do you think about these comments from the Rat Man? {Korimyr the Rat} I may be too close to the situation to comment to him right now without blowing a gasket. Thought I would get some parent's (or anyone else that wants to chime in) comments.

I know I'm the last person you want to hear from on this thread, but I think you are showing a lot of class here-- unlike certain other members of this forum-- and I appreciate that you are seeking outside opinions before attacking me or attempting to compose a response without attacking me. This is how a civilized person behaves when confronted with arguments he or she finds unconscionable.

For what it is worth, I believe you have every right to be angry and to take offense to my comments. I may have taken every possible effort to phrase my opinion respectfully, but I understand that this is a very emotional topic and a topic in which a lot of people have a very personal stake. I also understand that my opinion is considered reprehensible by the vast majority of Western society, and I would be foolish not to expect to receive strongly-worded and sometimes downright insulting responses.

When you decide to reply, civilly or otherwise, I will be ready to continue the conversation. And if you decide instead that my position is simply too offensive and not worth the effort, I will not think any less of you for it, and I do not believe that any other worthwhile human being would fault you for it either.

 

[Red Dawn]

Rat boy, you look like you rode the short bus to school, and got atomic wedgies from the jocks. Is self-loathing the basis of your hate for special needs kids?

Your comments about his looks are such an effective and compelling argument.
Not.

Hey Mountainman, piss off!

I choose to not be nice to self-professed FASCISTS. I don't like any asshole who worships at the altar of Fascism.

You can be nice to Fascists if you want. Maybe you can be pals with David Duke.

But don't follow me around giving me any Miss Manners lectures about how I treat fascists. You do your thing, I'll do mine.