Parenting - M & F

DGS49

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Apr 12, 2012
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It has been proposed that a Mother's love is unconditional, while a father's love must be earned continually.

A mother will say, upon imposing punishment, "This hurts me more than it does you."

A father will never say that. The unstated thought is that the father WANTS the punishment to hurt, and to be remembered. That's the whole point of punishment, eh?

Many people live their entire lives trying to gain their father's approval - even after their father has died.

Many people take their mother's love for granted, and suffer pangs of guilt when Mother dies because they were never able to articulate sufficient gratitude for their unconditional, life-long love.

Good PARENTING requires both types of love. Which is why single-motherhood is such a societal disaster, despite the heroic efforts of the single moms to provide every kind of nurturing and support while the child is growing up. It is also why children being brought up by same-sex couples are not getting the best parenting even though they may be overwhelmed by unconditional love from both sides. That's not what we need. We need judgmental love from one parent.

The success of parents in this area - or the lack of it - impacts all of our lives for as long as we live, and possibly for a succeeding generation. My father was raised in an orphanage - never knew his own father - and his indifferent parenting has affected not only me and my brothers, but also my son and nephews, only 3 of 9 of whom are married despite all being middle aged.

Thoughts?
 
A father and a mother each have distinct roles in a child's development. The child suffers without having each of them.

Part of the problem why society is a hot mess
 
A father and a mother each have distinct roles in a child's development. The child suffers without having each of them.

Part of the problem why society is a hot mess
We are short individuals like Hitler and Stalin which had two parents in home raising them...
 
It has been proposed that a Mother's love is unconditional, while a father's love must be earned continually.

A mother will say, upon imposing punishment, "This hurts me more than it does you."

A father will never say that. The unstated thought is that the father WANTS the punishment to hurt, and to be remembered. That's the whole point of punishment, eh?

Many people live their entire lives trying to gain their father's approval - even after their father has died.

Many people take their mother's love for granted, and suffer pangs of guilt when Mother dies because they were never able to articulate sufficient gratitude for their unconditional, life-long love.

Good PARENTING requires both types of love. Which is why single-motherhood is such a societal disaster, despite the heroic efforts of the single moms to provide every kind of nurturing and support while the child is growing up. It is also why children being brought up by same-sex couples are not getting the best parenting even though they may be overwhelmed by unconditional love from both sides. That's not what we need. We need judgmental love from one parent.

The success of parents in this area - or the lack of it - impacts all of our lives for as long as we live, and possibly for a succeeding generation. My father was raised in an orphanage - never knew his own father - and his indifferent parenting has affected not only me and my brothers, but also my son and nephews, only 3 of 9 of whom are married despite all being middle aged.

Thoughts?
In my case it was the exact opposite. My Dad's love was unconditional; my mother was another ball of wax, and my Dad left. You're right that the effects echo down the generations. That is why it is so important to try and help out when any of us sees a kid who really needs a hug, an affirmation, someone who believes in them. The things we do are like ripples in a pond. You never know what actions might be nudged in a good direction somewhere long after you've left the scene.
 

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