Opinions Please.

[earlycuyler]

Wow, I've never seen anything like that preached at any church I've ever been too. I would have told my family to get up and we would have walked out, and I wouldn't have returned until that pastor was no longer there. Your family and your daughter are far more important than that church is, and just because it claims to be a christian church doesn't mean that the staff are doing what is right. I would advise that you find one that you and your family like and attend there until something has changed at this church , a place where you won't be exposing your daughter to a pastor like that. What's ironic is that he does an entire sermon on judging while he's condemning her as a liar the entire way through it. He gives lip service that he's not doing that on one or two occasions, but it's very obvious where his loyalites lie, and it's not with your daughter. I get his point that maybe there are opposing factions in the church regarding this incident and that people are gossiping and talking about it, but if he wanted to address that piece of it he could have done it in a much more kind and tactful manner. I could never imagine my pastor giving such a sermon, ever. Is this what all Baptist pastors are like??

I hear you, and was at the point that we were going to leave. My daughter does not want to go. As I said, I helped build the church. As far as the Piaster go's, I have him for breech of trust, and the sermon is the evidence. he hi one of three elders. I only need to convince one more to have the piaster reprimanded. My daughter is in the mood to fight to stay, I am with her. And no. I have never seen this before in my life. Most just tell the gossips to shut up. And to be fair, this is all my side of this. Keep that in mind.

 

[earlycuyler]

clearly he has judged the girl of not being credible...he said so

This is my thinking as well. First, I dont blather my personnel shit on the internet. In this case, I needed a sounding board. Some one or two people to hear the shit and opine. You got the sermon, now some details. i have to be careful here as the police are involved, and there is an investigation on going. The Girl is my daughter. The accused is my best friend. He is also involved with the church band, as well as other church duties, like posting the sermons. The event took place two years ago on her birthday. It DID NOT happen at the church, or during a church function. I sat and listened to that sermon. I stared into the preachers eyes as he gave it. I did the same for the accused fellow while he stared back and sang "come to Jesus". The Deacons of the church kept there eyes on me, and two were stationed being me and one in front. This is in the church I have been a member of since before that preacher was there, and the deacons, and the accused. I physically helped build the church. In my mind thees men called me out. Not just me, but my daughter. I was going to give up on the church, and the Wife agreed. We asked my Daughter and she told us NO, absolutely not. She proceeded to tell me That she will NOT be run out of her church by the scumbag who did what he did to her. She told me that even if he is not convicted, that everyone will know, and that he will not be able to do it again and get away with it. My first thought was that my girl has fire in her belly. Then I cried some because my best friend did this, and the preacher at my church basically called my daughter a whore. All the stereotypes you see on life times. Then I got up this morning and figured that I am proud of my daughter. I admire her grit and willingness to fight this out. i am done weeping like a babe, now its war. This was not an issue in the church until that sermon. Now we will fight this out in the Church. The goal will be to destroy that stupid fucking red neck and have him ejected. As for the accused, the cops told us that he may not be prosecuted for it, but that we should have a dandy civil case and that we SHOULD sue for damages. Either way, he is going down. My daughter looked me in the eyes and asked me not to be rash. Told me that if I went off we would lose. She is strong. And I am a proud (but sad) father. Sorry to rant. Had to put it somewhere and no one I know will look here so I figured why the hell not.

is the church really that important to you ?...I would go after the old bastard and his little buddy with a most furious vengeance...but I would not step foot in any church that would sit by and listen to his threats and accusations

Its coming. Just today I have been getting calls and was told that the youth group calls the accused "the ice cream man" and "the creeper" I have 9 woman who are willing to speak to the police on my daughter behalf. I told my Daughter this will be ugly. Her answer was that it wont be any uglier then recounting the story over and over for the cops. the thing is, we dont want to be pushed out by a pedophile. We intend to remove the pedophile.

 

[strollingbones]

early i get the conflict...my husbands family was big into buiding their church its even named after the family.....it is hard to walk away from a church you are heavily invested in.....

with that said...there are times to go....i would not go now...but as you said...after...deal with your daughter and all now....the church can be dealt with later.....but if its such a burden you might consider another church but then again...we are in the south...some small towns are larger than other small towns but they all are the same...everyone knows what everyone knows....

i would look for other girls.....he has done this to

 

[Amelia]

Its coming. Just today I have been getting calls and was told that the youth group calls the accused "the ice cream man" and "the creeper" I have 9 woman who are willing to speak to the police on my daughter behalf. I told my Daughter this will be ugly. Her answer was that it wont be any uglier then recounting the story over and over for the cops. the thing is, we dont want to be pushed out by a pedophile. We intend to remove the pedophile.

Bravo.

 

[earlycuyler]

i see the good rev dill has him a much younger wife..

Not by much. This is spilling into the church, half think the guy did it and all of them are not surprised he was accused, Im surprised they thought that about him. I did not want it in the church, but it was brought out there. And my Girl wants to fight it out for the other girls there. She has my check book, and my support. War. Oh, CBD IS the honcho.

The sole purpose in going to church is to praise God and spend that time worshipping Him and to find fellowship with others. I don't see how you can possibly do that at this church now. Some battles are worth fighting, but I don't think this is, at least not in church, it certainly is in the court system. If your main goal is to go to a place where you can find peace and happiness and your priority is to devote that time to praising God, then it doesn't seem like staying at this particular church would allow you to meet that goal. I know it wouldn't for me, but everyone is different.

Its more then the church. My daughter wants to fight for it. I got her back. If she gives I support her. But she is fired up. My beef is with the pastier. I am after him. When the dust settles, I may go on.

 

[earlycuyler]

early i get the conflict...my husbands family was big into buiding their church its even named after the family.....it is hard to walk away from a church you are heavily invested in.....

with that said...there are times to go....i would not go now...but as you said...after...deal with your daughter and all now....the church can be dealt with later.....but if its such a burden you might consider another church but then again...we are in the south...some small towns are larger than other small towns but they all are the same...everyone knows what everyone knows....

i would look for other girls.....he has done this to

The detective mentioned other girls to. He said that there is NEVER just one. They took the guys computer to. The preachers opinion is not that of the congregation. After it all shakes out, he will be "adjusted".

 

[strollingbones]

there is never just one....that is true.....and taking his computer if the police have gone that far...they believe your daughter ....now its just proving it.....keep pushing the police....

i got to ask...dude this was your best friend and you never got any hint he was this way....and i know its hard to see demons at times...but your gut never told you....or you never listened?

 

[strollingbones]

i am so not judging......but damn it just seems like you would know it....or sense it...

 

[Newby]

Wow, I've never seen anything like that preached at any church I've ever been too. I would have told my family to get up and we would have walked out, and I wouldn't have returned until that pastor was no longer there. Your family and your daughter are far more important than that church is, and just because it claims to be a christian church doesn't mean that the staff are doing what is right. I would advise that you find one that you and your family like and attend there until something has changed at this church , a place where you won't be exposing your daughter to a pastor like that. What's ironic is that he does an entire sermon on judging while he's condemning her as a liar the entire way through it. He gives lip service that he's not doing that on one or two occasions, but it's very obvious where his loyalites lie, and it's not with your daughter. I get his point that maybe there are opposing factions in the church regarding this incident and that people are gossiping and talking about it, but if he wanted to address that piece of it he could have done it in a much more kind and tactful manner. I could never imagine my pastor giving such a sermon, ever. Is this what all Baptist pastors are like??

I hear you, and was at the point that we were going to leave. My daughter does not want to go. As I said, I helped build the church. As far as the Piaster go's, I have him for breech of trust, and the sermon is the evidence. he hi one of three elders. I only need to convince one more to have the piaster reprimanded. My daughter is in the mood to fight to stay, I am with her. And no. I have never seen this before in my life. Most just tell the gossips to shut up. And to be fair, this is all my side of this. Keep that in mind.

Well, I hope you are able to find enough peace to do what is intended at church, just don't lose sight of that priority, worshipping God and fellowship. Regardless of how much of an emotional investment you have in this place, if you can't do those two things, then continuing to go there would be pointless. I wish you the best! Good luck and God Bless!

 

[earlycuyler]

there is never just one....that is true.....and taking his computer if the police have gone that far...they believe your daughter ....now its just proving it.....keep pushing the police....

i got to ask...dude this was your best friend and you never got any hint he was this way....and i know its hard to see demons at times...but your gut never told you....or you never listened?

Thats what makes me sick. Did my gut ever tell me ? Why didn't listen ? Did I enable it ? Why didn't I catch this ? The kid does not hold it against me. Im my mind she should. The Wife is devastated by the same thoughts. I dont know or understand how or why my daughter does not hold it against me, or us.

 

[earlycuyler]

Wow, I've never seen anything like that preached at any church I've ever been too. I would have told my family to get up and we would have walked out, and I wouldn't have returned until that pastor was no longer there. Your family and your daughter are far more important than that church is, and just because it claims to be a christian church doesn't mean that the staff are doing what is right. I would advise that you find one that you and your family like and attend there until something has changed at this church , a place where you won't be exposing your daughter to a pastor like that. What's ironic is that he does an entire sermon on judging while he's condemning her as a liar the entire way through it. He gives lip service that he's not doing that on one or two occasions, but it's very obvious where his loyalites lie, and it's not with your daughter. I get his point that maybe there are opposing factions in the church regarding this incident and that people are gossiping and talking about it, but if he wanted to address that piece of it he could have done it in a much more kind and tactful manner. I could never imagine my pastor giving such a sermon, ever. Is this what all Baptist pastors are like??

I hear you, and was at the point that we were going to leave. My daughter does not want to go. As I said, I helped build the church. As far as the Piaster go's, I have him for breech of trust, and the sermon is the evidence. he hi one of three elders. I only need to convince one more to have the piaster reprimanded. My daughter is in the mood to fight to stay, I am with her. And no. I have never seen this before in my life. Most just tell the gossips to shut up. And to be fair, this is all my side of this. Keep that in mind.

Well, I hope you are able to find enough peace to do what is intended at church, just don't lose sight of that priority, worshipping God and fellowship. Regardless of how much of an emotional investment you have in this place, if you can't do those two things, then continuing to go there would be pointless. I wish you the best! Good luck and God Bless!

Thank you. And when my Daughter says its time to stop, its done. Even if I dont get my white whale.

 

[kwc57]

Hit the link and you will see a sermon called "good Judgment". If you are willing, would you read or listen to it and give me your opinion on what you feel the guy is saying, and what is the point he is trying to get across. Thanks much.

Lighthouse Baptist Church

OH MY GOD!!! I'm a life long Baptist and earned a bachelors in Religion with plans to go into the ministry. Never happened. I was a Deacon for a number of years. I've been thru my share of church "issues" and splits. I rarely darken the door anymore. If this man were my pastor, I think I'd be ripping him a new one of asking him to resign. On one hand, I understand his desire to confront the problem head on if it is festering in the church. On the other hand, he can preach whatever message he wants without alluding to the members in question. For me, that is taking it over the line. Especially how it tends to favor the accused. I dealt with an issue where the pastor had a rocky relationship with his wife and had some serious hots for an attractive lady in the church. She and her husband told him to lay off. He didn't. Others noticed it. What happened, he had some lackeys approach the man and his wife about leaving the church for the good of the congregation when rumors started to circulate. Their take on it, we didn't do anything wrong, we aren't leaving. Things just went downhill from their with half the folks realizing what a douche we had hired and the other people backing him because he was "God's man" and God had brought him there and God would move him. Half the people ended up leaving. The church no longer exists.......not because of that, but because of many things like that in it's 50 year history. I won't even begin to tell you what you should do as I don't know all the particulars. I do know that there is a time to take a stand and there is a time to just walk away. That is your decision.

 

[strollingbones]

well sounds like he and his daughter have made that decision....at its to stand.....now all we can is support that decision with our whole hearts and help another poster down the journey of life....believe it or not early there are some compassionate people on here

 

[earlycuyler]

Hit the link and you will see a sermon called "good Judgment". If you are willing, would you read or listen to it and give me your opinion on what you feel the guy is saying, and what is the point he is trying to get across. Thanks much.

Lighthouse Baptist Church

OH MY GOD!!! I'm a life long Baptist and earned a bachelors in Religion with plans to go into the ministry. Never happened. I was a Deacon for a number of years. I've been thru my share of church "issues" and splits. I rarely darken the door anymore. If this man were my pastor, I think I'd be ripping him a new one of asking him to resign. On one hand, I understand his desire to confront the problem head on if it is festering in the church. On the other hand, he can preach whatever message he wants without alluding to the members in question. For me, that is taking it over the line. Especially how it tends to favor the accused. I dealt with an issue where the pastor had a rocky relationship with his wife and had some serious hots for an attractive lady in the church. She and her husband told him to lay off. He didn't. Others noticed it. What happened, he had some lackeys approach the man and his wife about leaving the church for the good of the congregation when rumors started to circulate. Their take on it, we didn't do anything wrong, we aren't leaving. Things just went downhill from their with half the folks realizing what a douche we had hired and the other people backing him because he was "God's man" and God had brought him there and God would move him. Half the people ended up leaving. The church no longer exists.......not because of that, but because of many things like that in it's 50 year history. I won't even begin to tell you what you should do as I don't know all the particulars. I do know that there is a time to take a stand and there is a time to just walk away. That is your decision.

My Daughter does not want to leave. I will do what ever she wants. As for the pastier, he spoke to my daughter honor. I plan to answer for it. I dont have his pulpit, but I have state licensed therapist, the cops, and the congregation. I will plead my case to the elders of the church. My response to the sermon will have to be presented to the congregation. It sounds stupid, but weather we leave or go, I feel its what I need to do. What else will he let someone there get away with because HE feels they are not capable of doing what ever. In the end, its my daughters choice.

 

[earlycuyler]

well sounds like he and his daughter have made that decision....at its to stand.....now all we can is support that decision with our whole hearts and help another poster down the journey of life....believe it or not early there are some compassionate people on here

I have found that to be so. I cant say anything to anyone here, but I had to say something some ware. It has helped.

 

[eots]

Hit the link and you will see a sermon called "good Judgment". If you are willing, would you read or listen to it and give me your opinion on what you feel the guy is saying, and what is the point he is trying to get across. Thanks much.

Lighthouse Baptist Church

OH MY GOD!!! I'm a life long Baptist and earned a bachelors in Religion with plans to go into the ministry. Never happened. I was a Deacon for a number of years. I've been thru my share of church "issues" and splits. I rarely darken the door anymore. If this man were my pastor, I think I'd be ripping him a new one of asking him to resign. On one hand, I understand his desire to confront the problem head on if it is festering in the church. On the other hand, he can preach whatever message he wants without alluding to the members in question. For me, that is taking it over the line. Especially how it tends to favor the accused. I dealt with an issue where the pastor had a rocky relationship with his wife and had some serious hots for an attractive lady in the church. She and her husband told him to lay off. He didn't. Others noticed it. What happened, he had some lackeys approach the man and his wife about leaving the church for the good of the congregation when rumors started to circulate. Their take on it, we didn't do anything wrong, we aren't leaving. Things just went downhill from their with half the folks realizing what a douche we had hired and the other people backing him because he was "God's man" and God had brought him there and God would move him. Half the people ended up leaving. The church no longer exists.......not because of that, but because of many things like that in it's 50 year history. I won't even begin to tell you what you should do as I don't know all the particulars. I do know that there is a time to take a stand and there is a time to just walk away. That is your decision.

My Daughter does not want to leave. I will do what ever she wants. As for the pastier, he spoke to my daughter honor. I plan to answer for it. I dont have his pulpit, but I have state licensed therapist, the cops, and the congregation. I will plead my case to the elders of the church. My response to the sermon will have to be presented to the congregation. It sounds stupid, but weather we leave or go, I feel its what I need to do. What else will he let someone there get away with because HE feels they are not capable of doing what ever. In the end, its my daughters choice.

its important to respect her wishes in this regard

 

[strollingbones]

she doesnt blame you cause its not your fault.....simple as that...

i mean its such a nasty trick....here you are in crisis and your ex best friend is the cause

 

[Intense]

Hit the link and you will see a sermon called "good Judgment". If you are willing, would you read or listen to it and give me your opinion on what you feel the guy is saying, and what is the point he is trying to get across. Thanks much.

Lighthouse Baptist Church

It is a Police Matter and should be dealt with accordingly.

 

[earlycuyler]

Hit the link and you will see a sermon called "good Judgment". If you are willing, would you read or listen to it and give me your opinion on what you feel the guy is saying, and what is the point he is trying to get across. Thanks much.

Lighthouse Baptist Church

It is a Police Matter and should be dealt with accordingly.

Ultimately yes. and is. The detectives are on it.

 

[BDBoop]

there is never just one....that is true.....and taking his computer if the police have gone that far...they believe your daughter ....now its just proving it.....keep pushing the police....

i got to ask...dude this was your best friend and you never got any hint he was this way....and i know its hard to see demons at times...but your gut never told you....or you never listened?

Thats what makes me sick. Did my gut ever tell me ? Why didn't listen ? Did I enable it ? Why didn't I catch this ? The kid does not hold it against me. Im my mind she should. The Wife is devastated by the same thoughts. I dont know or understand how or why my daughter does not hold it against me, or us.

Please don't. Not you, not your wife. Don't blame yourselves. You should not be blaming yourselves anymore than your daughter should be blaming herself.

He's a sicko. Of course you never saw it. He had to keep it hidden. What he does is ILLEGAL. Unless you were a mind reader, you'd never know.

And you're not.

So don't go there.