Only In Chicago

[Annie]

No, not politics, enough of that this week.

Two guys from Chicago die and wake up in hell. The next day, the devil stops to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and bomber hats, warming themselves around the fire.

The devil asks them, 'What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?'

The two guys reply, 'Well, you know, we're from Illinois , the land of ice and snow and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a bit, you know.'

The devil gets a little steamed up and he decides to fix the two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Chicago and finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling sausage and drinking beer.

The devil is astonished. 'Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you seem to be enjoying yourselves.'

The two Illinoisers reply, 'Well, ya know, we don't get too much warm weather up there in Chicago , we've just got to have a cookout when the weather is this nice.'

The devil is absolutely furious, he decides to turn all the heat in hell off.

The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, the people are shivering so bad, they are unable to wail or moan

The devil smiles and heads for the room with the 2 Chicagoians. He finds them back in their parkas, mittens and hats. They are jumping up and down and cheering.

The devil was dumbfounded. 'I don't understand. When I turn the heat up, you're happy. Now it's freezing cold, and you're happy. What is wrong with you two?'

The Illininoisers look at the devil in surprise. 'Well, don't ya know - if hell froze over, that must mean one thing........


the CUBS won the WORLD SERIES.

Which reminded me of this oldie:

You Know You're From Chicago if...

You Know You're From Chicago if......
You - correctly - don't pronounce the "s" at the end of Illinois.
You become irate at people who do.
You measure distance in minutes.
You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Des Plaines".
Your school classes were canceled because of excessive cold.
Your school classes were canceled because of excessive heat.
You've even had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
Stores don't have sacks, they have bags.
You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to the mall I wanna go with."
You can locate Illinois on the United States map.
Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is at least twice as big as the bun and accompanied only by ketchup and a dill pickle slice.
You install security lights on your house and garage and then leave both unlocked.
When asked how your trip was to any foreign, exotic place, you say, "It was different."
You carry jumper cables in your car.
You know what the numbers I-80, 55, and 90 mean.
You realize that I-290, I-90, I-94, and I-294 are all different roads.
You refer to any interstate highway as "the Tollway" or else "the expressway."
You know the given names of the interstates, i.e.: Stevenson, Kennedy, Eisenhower, Dan Ryan.
You refer to anything south of I-80 as "Southern Illinois".
You refer to Lake Michigan as "The Lake".
You refer to Chicago as "The City".
No matter where you are, when you hear the term "Downtown" you immediately assume they are talking about Downtown Chicago.
You find yourself referring to the central business district of any city you happen to be in as "The Loop."
You have two favorite football teams: The Bears and anyone who beats the Green Bay Packers.
A brawl over which Chicago baseball team is better breaks out every year at your neighborhood block party
Even though you live 3 hours south, you still buy "The Trib."
You know what goes on a Chicago Style Hot Dog.
You know what Chicago Style Pizza is -- and feel pity for those that don't, and with good reason!
You know why they call Chicago "the Windy City".
You understand what "lake-effect" means.
You know the difference between Amtrack and Metra, and know which station they end up at.
You have ridden an "L" (elevated train).