Only at Wal-Mart

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Trinity, Jun 17, 2005.

  1. Trinity
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    Trinity VIP Member

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    Only at Wal-Mart
    One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says
    to Mike behind him," My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a
    doctor."

    "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
    "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine
    sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about
    it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a lot cheaper than a
    doctor."

    So Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.
    He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the
    urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds
    later, the computer ejects a printout:

    You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and Epson
    Salt. (Aisle 8) And avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks...

    Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.

    That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe
    begins wondering if the computer can be fooled. He mixes some tap
    water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
    daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Joe hurries back to
    Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in
    his concoction, and awaits the results.

    The computer prints the following:

    1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)

    2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)

    3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

    4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

    5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
    better.

    ...Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart
     

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