Trinity
VIP Member
- Jun 16, 2004
- 1,286
- 79
- 83
Only at Wal-Mart
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says
to Mike behind him," My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a
doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine
sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about
it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a lot cheaper than a
doctor."
So Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.
He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the
urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds
later, the computer ejects a printout:
You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and Epson
Salt. (Aisle 8) And avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks...
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe
begins wondering if the computer can be fooled. He mixes some tap
water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Joe hurries back to
Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in
his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
better.
...Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says
to Mike behind him," My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a
doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine
sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about
it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a lot cheaper than a
doctor."
So Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.
He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the
urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds
later, the computer ejects a printout:
You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and Epson
Salt. (Aisle 8) And avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks...
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe
begins wondering if the computer can be fooled. He mixes some tap
water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Joe hurries back to
Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in
his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
better.
...Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart
