On Caves, and Such Things

Discussion in 'Writing' started by Helios, Jan 30, 2008.

  1. Helios
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    Helios Member

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    I wrote this story my senior year of high school, we were supposed to write an expanded version of Plato's Allegory of the Cave. I'm open to any criticism/comments you want to share. Here it is:

    Two tribes lived in a cave together, on opposite sides of a great chasm. Across the abyss spanned a large bridge of stone, which served to connect the tribes of the cave. The tribes seemed to be in a constant state of competition and warfare. One day, the special connections controlling one tribe decide to solidify their control over their tribe in an effort to fight a more effective war. They were the most dangerous brand of evil, intelligent evil, and understood that they had to fight two fronts: a war of fear and ignorance against truth and the liberty in their tribe, and a phantom war against the people of the other tribe.

    Over the centuries, the increasing weight of their cannons and war machines began to erode the bridge, and when the people addressed this issue, they were told the bridge was not as important as the divinely blessed and patriotic war against the other tribe. The people were too dazzled with the SHADOWS ON THE WALL to object to or understand complex situations, and with time they forgot they had a voice at all. Seeing their plans come to fruition, the special friends and leader of the tribe amped up their farce war effort, and their complete domination of the people. Large areas of the bridge were badly damaged by now, and it was no longer easy for the people to navigate it.

    One oppressive, dark day a small but healthy baby was born, who was called Spero, son of a hunter and a seamstress. Later that day, the people's worst nightmare came true, the battered bridge collapsed and with it all connections between the two tribes. The leaders and connections continued to disseminate fear amongst the people. The threat of an attack was now highly improbably, but the people continued to live in fear, having become accustomed and comfortable with it.

    Spero grew up to become extraordinary, a man whose eyes saw through deception, and whose ears could distinguish truth from lie. He had visions of a mysterious and beautiful light, that could envelop and empower the body and mind. He became obsessed with his dreams, and eagerly told the people of the tribe about the light. The people denied and dismissed him and Spero gained the reputation of being a lunatic and a fool.

    He became very disillusioned and decided to leave the cave, something that was never even mentioned by the people. He gathered up a thick rope and steel spikes, and began his ascent. The way was not easy, and he slipped and stumbled often. As he climbed, his body suffered scratches, bruises and he nearly turned around, but the vision of the light impelled him to continue. When he had reached the peak, he hammered a steel spike into the roof, creating a hole. The hole created a shaft of bright light and Spero lifted his face to it. He smelled fresh air for the first time, and was rejuvenated. He realized how polluted and dusty the toxic air of the cave had become. The young man saw the light and was one with the dream. He broke a larger hole into the ceiling of the cave, and climbed through, until the light surrounded him. It recognized him. It enabled him. The light loved Spero and gave him freedom.

    At once, he sought to share the light with the people. He told them of the fresh air, the sunlight and the freedom. When the people turned their heads to the light high up in the cave, they were blinded by its unequaled brilliance and brightness. Their vision became unfocused and blurry, and they cursed the light. They directed their anger at Spero, and he answered saying “You must embrace the light in order to be liberated by it.” He urged them to scale the wall of the cave and see it for themselves. They did not understand, and began to return to their small, safe existence as slaves. They did not want to make the difficult journey, saying it was too perilous. Out of love, the young man dragged the people forcibly towards the light. Outraged and afraid, the people turned on him and cast him into the chasm, where he fell unto his death.
     

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