Old Folks

Discussion in 'Humor' started by ZippyDippyDoo, Jun 5, 2010.

  1. ZippyDippyDoo
    Offline

    ZippyDippyDoo Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2010
    Messages:
    69
    Thanks Received:
    6
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Location:
    AZ, USA
    Ratings:
    +6
    Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home. The first says, "Fellas, I got real problems. I'm seventy years old. Every morning at seven o'clock I get up and I try to urinate. All day long I try to urinate. They give me all kinds of medicine but nothing helps."

    The second old man says, "You think you have problems. I'm eighty years old. Every morning at 8:00 I get up and try to move my bowels. I try all day long. They give me all kinds of stuff but nothing helps."

    Finally the third old man speaks up, "Fellas: I'm ninety years old. Every morning at 7:00 sharp I urinate. Every morning at 8:00 I move my bowels. Every morning at 9:00 sharp I wake up."

    --------------------------
    A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"

    Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."

    "That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?"

    Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."

    "Thank you, Amie," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?"

    Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy murders people, steals from them, and drinks."

    The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and asked if there might be some logical explanation.

    Billy's father said, "I'm actually an attorney. But how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

    ---------------

    Two lawyers met at a cocktail party late one night.

    "How’s business?" asked the first.

    "Rotten," replied the other. "Yesterday, I chased an ambulance for twenty miles. When I finally caught up to it, there were already two other lawyer hanging on to the bumper."

    --------------
     
  2. helow
    Offline

    helow Rookie

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2010
    Messages:
    8
    Thanks Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Ratings:
    +0
    hey

    thanks for sharing ur old folks.
     
  3. rightwinger
    Offline

    rightwinger Paid Messageboard Poster Gold Supporting Member Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2009
    Messages:
    120,218
    Thanks Received:
    19,818
    Trophy Points:
    2,190
    Location:
    NJ & MD
    Ratings:
    +45,311
    The way it is supposed to read:

    Finally the third old man speaks up, "Fellas: I'm ninety years old. Every morning at 7:00 sharp I urinate. Every morning at 8:00 I move my bowels.

    The others replied "Thats fantastic for a man your age...so whats the problem?"

    He replies " I don't get up till 9:00"
     

Share This Page