Remember that script I posted here a while ago, about the pregnant girl? (for the record, I gave it a title, 'Ten Days Late') ANyway, in my fiction class today, the teacher gave us these handouts about a writing contest they're having at my school and one of the things they're looking for is short scripts. My question is, do you think with some major rewriting (see below) I could submit this? This probably doesn't need to be said, but I want you guys to be honest about it, don't beat around the bush. Here's the things that I already know I need to work on: -Music cues: too many of them, Bry's comment "but I know you're a fan of Dawson's Creek, so I guess it's okay" stuck with me more than I think he ever thought it would. -The ending: it's convoluted. I think it would work on the screen, but on the page, it's confusing. -Most of the dialogue was just off the top of my head, so I need to rework it, make it more lively. -The girl's friend doesn't really do much other than sit on the curb and say 'okay, explain the plot to me.' I need to do more with her or else take it out altogether. -I may add a scene where the girl calls her mother. Maybe in place of the diner scene after the beach where nothing really happens. -I liked the scene with the girl and her father. I'll work on the dialogue, but I really liked the interaction between them. -the boyfriend was a little one-note, in my opinion. It's hard to get too deep in such a short script, but I think I need to make him a little more sympathetic. -I don't know about that final shot (rattle and roses). It seemed a little too overly arty to me. What did you think? OK, what else do I need to do? If the answer is 'give up', then just give it to me straight.