Objectivist Cult Member Says Composition Not Relevant to Science

Discussion in 'Humor' started by M.D. Rawlings, Jan 19, 2013.

  1. M.D. Rawlings
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    M.D. Rawlings Classical Liberal

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    Source: Associated Press
    by Michael David Rawlings
    01/15/2013
    You-Just-Can’t-Make-This-Stuff-Up World Journal



    In response to a learned missive regarding the technical application of the philosophical terms for measurement and composition to mathematics and modern science, Objectivist cult member Robert "Pseudo-Science" Bumbalough yesterday averred that the composition of empirical phenomena was not relevant to the scientific concerns of identity. “It just doesn’t matter,” he said with a slur and the look of a crazed animal in his eyes. “Chemistry? Pfft. Who needs it?”

    Bumbalough is a follower of the self-styled philosophy of reason known as Objectivism, so-named by its originator Ayn Rand, the controversial novelist and Russian émigré of the Twentieth Century who died of heart failure in 1982.

    Rand is most notable for her rather boorishly didactic novels Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged, and for her unapologetic defense of ethical egoism and laissez-faire capitalism.

    Reports have it that Rand developed her sophomoric theory of concepts, the centerpiece of Objectivism’s mysticism, while all hopped up on amphetamines and the charm of an endless chain of nicotine delivery devices.

    “After the sixth day she was downing handfuls of Dexedrine at a time every two hours with shots of Vodka like they were Gummy Bears,” an anonymous insider revealed.

    “We had to board up all the windows on account of the fact that we almost lost her when she smashed through one. I just managed to snatch her by her ankles on her way out. We’re talkin’ forty stories. On top of that, by the eleventh day she dispensed with the Pall Malls altogether. When we weren’t repairing the holes in the walls of her apartment from all the bouncing around, we were lining up eight balls of pure N.”

    Another source who was present at the time told this report, “The needles kept breaking off in her arms due to the eradicate and uncontrollable spasms that racked her entire body from all the juice. So enraged was she with our incompetence that she literally busted the pulsing vein in the middle of her forehead that had grown to the size of a small lemon. Blood and spittle sprayed everywhere as she screamed at the top of her lungs, ‘Look here you worthless toads, existence exists! Now go nick a roll of duct tape from the corner market and just lash me down to the chair!’.”


    Prufrock's Lair: Objectivist Cult Member Says Composition Not Relevant to Science
     
  2. Mad Scientist
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    Mad Scientist Deplorable Gold Supporting Member Supporting Member

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    I love science, I really do. My main hobby, R/C Model Airplanes, is nothing BUT Science. But people who only follow science always seem to miss the thing that makes us all Human: Emotions.

    I could tell you how an airfoil works, how torque effects the take off roll. High speed flutter, inverted spins and all that but you know what yer not getting as I'm telling you all that?

    How it FEELS to have the Transmitter in my hand as I fly the plane through the sky. Yeah, I could describe it in Scientific terms, but there's NO WAY for you to understand how it FEELS until you do it for your self. And even then, YOUR EXPERIENCE will be different than mine. What would be exciting for me may be pedestrian or boring for you.

    Why is that? Objectivism. As defined by Wiki:
    Scientists love to explain things with Graphs and Charts but I think they miss a large portion of Understanding and Comprehension by leaving out Emotion which they perhaps see as Irrational.
     
  3. M.D. Rawlings
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    M.D. Rawlings Classical Liberal

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    My experience with Objectivists is that they're pretty much one-dimensional in their thinking.
     

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