The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree...and think 25 to life would be appropriate. --Jay Leno America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask. --Jay Leno Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal? A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it. --Conan O'Brien Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon? A: A fund raiser. --Jay Leno Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary? A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners. --David Letterman Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved? A: America ! --Jimmy Fallon Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo? A: Bo has papers. --Jimmy Kimmel Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program? A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road. --David Letterman and the funniest....guess who these guys voted for (forget that i ended the sentence with a prepositon....)?
Mitt Romney is saying his comments about liking to fire people were taken out of context. Yeah, what he actually said was he likes to set poor people on fire." –Conan O'Brien Hookers in Times Square, God bless 'em, are offering a Mitt Romney Special. For an extra $20 they'll change positions." –David Letterman "Mitt Romney was on the 'Today Show' and admitted he likes to read the 'Twilight' books and watch 'American Idol.' If elected, he would be the 1st Mormon and the 1st 13-year-old girl to be President." —Jimmy Kimmel
"Mitt Romney says President Obama's promises are like Kim Kardashian's wedding vows. President Obama shot back. He said Romney's positions last about half as long as a Kim Kardashian wedding." –Jay Leno
Jimmy Kimmel: “There’s a term for guys like President. Probably not two terms.” . "Remember when the country rallied around you in hopes of a better tomorrow? That was hilarious." "Democrats would like you to stick to your guns. And if you don't have any guns, you can ask Eric Holder to get some for you." "They say diplomacy is a matter of carrot and sticks, and since Michelle Obama got to the White House — so is dinner." And a nod to obama's communist agenda. "It doesn't matter if you're black, like President Obama, or white, like President Obama, or red, like President Obama's agenda."
