Obama Jokes

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Ame®icano, Sep 21, 2009.

  1. Ame®icano
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    Ame®icano Gold Member

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    [​IMG]

    The Postal Service created a new stamp with a picture of President Obama.

    The stamp was not sticking to envelopes.

    This enraged the President who demanded a full investigation.

    After a month of testing and $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special Presidential commission presented the following findings:

    *The stamp is in perfect order.

    *There is nothing wrong with the adhesive.

    *People were spitting on the wrong side.
     
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  2. Ame®icano
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    Ame®icano Gold Member

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    Acorn employee and an lawyer were fishing in the Caribbean.

    The Acorn employee said, “I’m here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.”

    “That’s quite a coincidence,” said the lawyer. “I’m here because my house and all of my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything.”

    The Acorn employee looked somewhat confused. “Uhm... How do you start a flood?”
     
  3. Oddball
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    Oddball BANNED Supporting Member

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    What's the difference between God and Obammy?

    Obammy gets better press.

    God doesn't think he's Obammy.

    God only gets to be worshipped one day a week.

    God only wants 10%.
     
  4. Ame®icano
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    Ame®icano Gold Member

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    A guy traveling through Mexico on vacation lost his wallet and all of his identification.

    Cutting his trip short, he attempted to make his way home but was stopped by the U.S. Customs Agent at the border.

    “May I see your identification, please?” asked the agent.

    “I’m sorry, but I lost my wallet,” replied the guy.

    “Sure buddy, I hear that every day.”

    No ID, no entry,” said the agent. “But I can prove I’m an American!” he exclaimed.

    “I have a picture of Ronald reagan tattooed on one side of my butt and George Bush on the other.”

    “This I gotta see,” replied the agent.

    With that, the guy dropped his pants and showed the agent his behind.

    “By golly, you’re right!” exclaimed the agent. “Have a safe trip back to Chicago .”

    “Thanks!” he said. “But how did you know I was from Chicago ?”

    The agent replied, “I recognized Obama in the middle.”
     
  5. Ame®icano
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    Ame®icano Gold Member

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    Late one night in Washington, D.C., a robber jumps a well-dressed man and sticks a gun to his back.

    The robber demands, “Give me your money!”

    The man stiffened, but said indignantly, “You can’t do this to me! I’m a U.S. congressman!”

    The robber retorts, “In that case, give me MY money!”
     
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  6. WillowTree
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    WillowTree Diamond Member

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    :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
     
  7. Ame®icano
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    Ame®icano Gold Member

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    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7X9wP1zQcQ]YouTube - Ordering pizza in 2010[/ame]
     
  8. Modbert
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    Modbert Daydream Believer Supporting Member

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    Notice your video mentions the Bush Administration. That video is a couple years ago though I think. :lol:
     
  9. Ame®icano
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    A man is sitting in a bar far from home when Barack Obama comes on TV. The man looks at the TV and says, “Obama is a horse’s butt.”

    Out of nowhere, a local jumps up and punches him in the face, knocking the first guy off his bar stool, then stomps out.

    He gets up, rubbing his cheek and orders another beer.

    Shortly afterwards, Michelle Obama appears on the TV. He looks at the TV and says, “She is a horse’s butt, too!”

    Out of nowhere, another local punches him on the other side of the face, knocking him off his bar stool again.

    He gets back up and looks at the bartender, “I take it this is Obama country?”

    “Nope.” replies the bartender. “Horse country.”
     
  10. Ame®icano
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    In Honor of the 44th President of the United States, Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has issued a new flavor, ” Barocky Road”.

    Barocky Road is a blend of half Vanilla, half Chocolate, and surrounded by Nuts and Flakes.

    The Vanilla portion of the mix is not openly advertised and usually denied as an ingredient.

    The Nuts and Flakes are all very bitter and hard to swallow.

    The Cost is $100.00 per scoop.

    When purchased, it will be presented to you in a large beautiful cone, but then the Ice Cream is taken away and given to the person in line behind you.

    Thus you are left with an empty wallet, no change, holding an empty cone, with no hope of getting any Ice Cream.

    Aren’t you feeling stimulated?
     

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