Not a rant, just some tough decisions i have made.

[actsnoblemartin]

I have made four tough decisions, that I have though about for a very long time. I have considered the pro's and cons, and am making these choices solely based on what is best for me, in my life. I have decided the following three things.

I have decided that while I want to be in a long term committed relationship, I consider marriage a scam, and too much of a gamble. I think people in a relationship, need to be able to walk away, without all the emotional bloodshed that divorce has, and with over 50% divorce, and less people getting married, I cannot accept that marriage is anything more then a fairy tale, taught to little girls, who believe you can have it all. and men who are pressured into it.

My 2nd decision, is that I will not date a single mother, and never have children of my own. I am not emotionally, or mentally equipped to do so, and I am not the least bit interested in being a father.

Third, and finally, I think living with a woman, or living with the opposite sex is a terrible idea. In my humble opinion, when youre in a relationship, you need to have a life outside youre relationship. You need to have a safe space, to call youre own, and when you want to have friends over, or have a fight, it is best to have your own place, and if you break up, its much less messy, because, you both have youre own space to go too.

fourth, I have decided that if men and women are going to be equal, it is imperative, women stop asking and/or expecting men to take care of them, men and women must take care of each other first, before they take care of anyone else. I think women should pay 50% for any date, whether its the first date, and/or during the duration of any relationship with a man.

 

[hjmick]

How old did you say you are? Just for the purpose of discussion mind you. A jumping off point, if you will.

 

[Care4all]

How old did you say you are? Just for the purpose of discussion mind you. A jumping off point, if you will.

my guess from his picture in the pictures of us thread, he is about 18, if the picture is recent?

Care

 

[hjmick]

my guess from his picture in the pictures of us thread, he is about 18, if the picture is recent?

Care

I am also curious as to whether or not ANM is a child of divorce. Again, just for some perspective and a basis for discussion.

 

[Toro]

best of luck to ya.

i think some of those decisions are quite mature, but you just may have eliminated 90% of the female population.

 

[Care4all]

I am also curious as to whether or not ANM is a child of divorce. Again, just for some perspective and a basis for discussion.

I would surmise that he is a child of divorced parents or a child of unhappy parents or a child of "very busy" parents,

or a young adult that is just exploring the world and the realm of decisions he will have to make? hahaha, which is probably the "real" case....

 

[Vintij]

I have made four tough decisions, that I have though about for a very long time. I have considered the pro's and cons, and am making these choices solely based on what is best for me, in my life. I have decided the following three things.

I have decided that while I want to be in a long term committed relationship, I consider marriage a scam, and too much of a gamble. I think people in a relationship, need to be able to walk away, without all the emotional bloodshed that divorce has, and with over 50% divorce, and less people getting married, I cannot accept that marriage is anything more then a fairy tale, taught to little girls, who believe you can have it all. and men who are pressured into it.

My 2nd decision, is that I will not date a single mother, and never have children of my own. I am not emotionally, or mentally equipped to do so, and I am not the least bit interested in being a father.

Third, and finally, I think living with a woman, or living with the opposite sex is a terrible idea. In my humble opinion, when youre in a relationship, you need to have a life outside youre relationship. You need to have a safe space, to call youre own, and when you want to have friends over, or have a fight, it is best to have your own place, and if you break up, its much less messy, because, you both have youre own space to go too.

fourth, I have decided that if men and women are going to be equal, it is imperative, women stop asking and/or expecting men to take care of them, men and women must take care of each other first, before they take care of anyone else. I think women should pay 50% for any date, whether its the first date, and/or during the duration of any relationship with a man.

Let me give you a lesson in Vintij 101.

First decision. Marriage can work with the right person, but if you rush into it, its more of a money thing. Dont ever marry or even get with someone who does not have a job, or a career path. They just want your money.



Second decision. Dont ever, ever get with a single mother. The kid is not yours and you STILL have to take care of it and pick up the tab once in awhile? Not one cent should be paid to children that are not yours. Also, do not get married under the age of 24.

Third decision. In my case, you can live with your girl IF and only IF everything is in HER name. haha. Dont ever live with someone when something is in your own name. That way you can leave whenever you want, or if you split your name....you can cut your losses. If its in your name, your trapped. And dont live with someone who is jelous, or someone who does not let you do your work (in my case, write music) or chill with your friends whenever you want. In my case, I dont have good friends that she doesnt chill with so we share friends, it works that way. They are not true friends if they stop hanging out with you just cuz you have a girlfriend.

Fourth decision, perfect. You got it.....never pay for a whole date and if you do, you switch off. DTB (dumb that bitch) if she makes you pay for every date. She should have her own cash, to take you out every other time. No pussy is worth more than 40 dollars a date.

Lastly, let it be known that you wont tolerate anything that you dont like. Too many pussified boyfriends out there who do whatever the girl says. If your like me.....you say its 50/50 for everything, or hit the road.

 

[Gunny]

I have made four tough decisions, that I have though about for a very long time. I have considered the pro's and cons, and am making these choices solely based on what is best for me, in my life. I have decided the following three things.

I have decided that while I want to be in a long term committed relationship, I consider marriage a scam, and too much of a gamble. I think people in a relationship, need to be able to walk away, without all the emotional bloodshed that divorce has, and with over 50% divorce, and less people getting married, I cannot accept that marriage is anything more then a fairy tale, taught to little girls, who believe you can have it all. and men who are pressured into it.

It is not the piece of paper the state grants you that keeps you from being able to "just walk away." It's the "long-term committed relationship" part. The emotional bloddshed comes from destroying THAT, not a piece of paper the state uses to categorize and tax you.

In other words, the reasons you claim to want to avoid marriage for exist anyway, and the hurt is the same.

My 2nd decision, is that I will not date a single mother, and never have children of my own. I am not emotionally, or mentally equipped to do so, and I am not the least bit interested in being a father.

Only you can decide that. If you can't handle it, at least you're wise enough to recognize it.

Third, and finally, I think living with a woman, or living with the opposite sex is a terrible idea. In my humble opinion, when youre in a relationship, you need to have a life outside youre relationship. You need to have a safe space, to call youre own, and when you want to have friends over, or have a fight, it is best to have your own place, and if you break up, its much less messy, because, you both have youre own space to go too.

What you are describing is "dating," not a long term committed relationship; which, is what you said you desired. There is no mine and hers ... it's "ours." Again, your choice, but good luck finding anyone that would agree to those terms.

fourth, I have decided that if men and women are going to be equal, it is imperative, women stop asking and/or expecting men to take care of them, men and women must take care of each other first, before they take care of anyone else. I think women should pay 50% for any date, whether its the first date, and/or during the duration of any relationship with a man.

Dude, I predict MANY lonely nights in front of the PC or TV for YOU.

Men and women can be equal and men still treat ladies as they should be treated. If who is paying for half the date is your major concern, I'd say you aren't as interested in the woman as you think.

 

[Care4all]

or a young adult that is just exploring the world and the realm of decisions he will have to make? hahaha, which is probably the "real" case....

I am going on this being the actual case Martin.

I think it is very thoughtful of you to contemplate how you think, regarding these issues. You know YOU, better than any of us here on this board and you did say you spent "some time" thinking about it.

So let me tell you a little bit about me.

I love my husband and he loves me.

To the both of us, we are amazed at how much we have grown in our love for eachother and dependence on eachother for most everything in life...

Of course this is outside of personal interests of my own and personal interests of his own, cuz we definately have our own "space" when it comes to that...

My hubby, completes me.

And I, complete him.

In fact, he is my best friend, and was my best friend for at least 5 years before we even dated eachother, with alot of ex girl friends and exboyfriends in between!

IF, and this is a big IF Martin, you find a girl that is your very best friend in the whole wide world, and you just don't want to spend a minute without her, in and out of the bedroom, then you should consider that you might want to marry her.

As far as children are concerned, you do not have to bear children to be Happy. (Wow, the mental help I've been getting must be working? )

My husband and I have not been able to have children of our own, I am barren, and we truely ARE happier than most couples out there, with or without children. This helps a great deal with the "loss" of natural parenthood.

On the other hand, my older sister is alone after one of those "divorces" that you spoke about, and because of her religion and the stand on 2nd marriages, she is alone, and she ABSOLUTELY LOVES being single! She has tons of friends and things to do that she enjoys!

Care

 

[Truthmatters]

QUOTE=actsnoblemartin;584106]I have made four tough decisions, that I have though about for a very long time. I have considered the pro's and cons, and am making these choices solely based on what is best for me, in my life. I have decided the following three things.

I have decided that while I want to be in a long term committed relationship, I consider marriage a scam, and too much of a gamble. I think people in a relationship, need to be able to walk away, without all the emotional bloodshed that divorce has, and with over 50% divorce, and less people getting married, I cannot accept that marriage is anything more then a fairy tale, taught to little girls, who believe you can have it all. and men who are pressured into it.

My 2nd decision, is that I will not date a single mother, and never have children of my own. I am not emotionally, or mentally equipped to do so, and I am not the least bit interested in being a father.

Third, and finally, I think living with a woman, or living with the opposite sex is a terrible idea. In my humble opinion, when youre in a relationship, you need to have a life outside youre relationship. You need to have a safe[ space, to call youre own, and when you want to have friends over, or have a fight, it is best to have your own place, and if you break up, its much less messy, because, you both have youre own space to go too.

fourth, I have decided that if men and women are going to be equal, it is imperative, women stop asking and/or expecting men to take care of them, men and women must take care of each other first, before they take care of anyone else. I think women should pay 50% for any date, whether its the first date, and/or during the duration of any relationship with a man.[/QUOTE]




This part glared out at me.

Dont ever get married unless you feel the person you are marrying IS that safe place.

I feel for you young man ,its a crazy world out there and when and IF you meet the right person you will find that in their arms is that safe place.

I dont mean money, sex, or any of the other worlds illusions but the look from another human being who you know them well enough that they dont even have to say they would stand beside you no matter what happens and how hard it becomes.

Heres a hint though, Do say it!