Nice retirement vs. having kids

Discussion in 'Current Events' started by fuzzykitten99, Mar 17, 2006.

  1. fuzzykitten99
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    fuzzykitten99 Senior Member

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    I read this, as it was on MSN.com and advertised the 'real cost' of having kids. I thought it would be kind of interesting, just to see what my 2 kids will cost me (monitarily) over the years. I get reading it more and more. It then goes into saying (sounds to me anyway) that women over 40 who want a nice retirement should maybe reconsider having kids because the financial cost may hinder a nice retirement.

    WTF?! If you are THAT worried about having a nice retirement, basically more focused on what kids cost rather than the non-monitary returns that you get, that cold, impersonal money could never give you. Plus the fact that you contribute to the continuation of society, and your kids will likely be helping pay for your retirement through taxes.

    Tim and I would be living SO nicely if we didn't have kids. But I don't look at the financial part of having them, other than providing the basic needs, which are always met plus some. I would rather have my little Nathan (and Ben too!) and get to have the cute little antics, sweet hugs, and the way he snuggles with me when he crawls into bed with us on weekend mornings, than the extra $5-600/month we spend in caring for him through daycare, diapers, groceries, and fun stuff.

    Then it goes into saying that women over 40 may need to look at when their kids are going to start college, and when they themselves will be retiring. Who the hell says parents MUST foot the bill for a college education? What happened to working through college, getting scholarships, financial aid, and student loans? If Nathan or Ben want to go to school, I would certainly look into maybe helping out with books, or part tuition, but not footing the bill entirely.

    http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/CollegeandFamily/Raisekids/P144966.asp?GT1=7924

     
  2. Nienna
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    Nienna Senior Member

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    I agree, Fuzzy. My daddy footed the entire bill for college for us four girls. He paid tuition, books & supplies, gave us a car, and an allowance, too. We still worked part-time jobs for extra spending money, but we pretty much had a free ride.

    I am ashamed to say I think I wasted my college experience. Not that I partied it away (AS IF!), but I took it for granted, and wasn't serious about it. If I had had to pay for it, I think I would have gotten more out of it.

    Our kids will have to pay for at least part of their college. There is no way we can afford to put all of them through. We will try to help them. Maybe it's mean, but I don't feel sorry for them. I think it will do them good.
     
  3. Nienna
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    Nienna Senior Member

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    Oh, and the other thing... who ever said life was supposed to be all about YOU? They are weighing the cost of having kids v/s the benefits they get from them. What is that all about???? That is one of the most immature things I have ever heard! Certainly kids give you love and pleasure, but a parent should be more focused on what he/she GIVES to the child rather than what they are getting out of it.
     
  4. fuzzykitten99
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    fuzzykitten99 Senior Member

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    i think if someone (or couple) is THAT focused on money-maybe they SHOULD rethink having kids. They are too self-centered or obsessed with money to really enjoy what a child or children can give back. I don't need an article to tell me kids are expensive. DUH! But I look at all the great experiences that I am getting out of it, plus the fact that will (hopefully) get to be a grandma someday.

    I think this is what has stirred into me the desire to start a home-daycare, which I am in the process of applying for a license. It takes a few months, and I am not in hurry, though ideally I would like to open up a few weeks after my maternity leave is up.

    I have always wanted to be a teacher because I love kids, and like to read to them, play games, and all sorts of stuff. Since being an actual teacher in a school is unlikely until my kids are older, I can be a teacher to the pre-school ages. Tim likes this idea because then I can be a SAHM and bring in money, likely more than I am making now.
     
  5. Nienna
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    Nienna Senior Member

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    I know some women who have done this, and it has worked out really well for them. The only thing they have said is that you have to be REALLY firm about your boundaries. Like the times you will be available, what areas of the house the kids will be allowed in, payment dates, etc. People will try to take advantage, but those women I know who were able to be firm really liked the arrangement.
     
  6. fuzzykitten99
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    fuzzykitten99 Senior Member

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    I will be firm but flexible in certain situations. I am hoping to set up a few PT kids that go to the local elementary school, because I am only 2 blocks away.

    As far as where the kids are allowed to go, this is why we are re-doing the basement to make it more liveable and putting the computer/office stuff down there, and turning the den upstairs into a toy/play room. We need egress windows downstairs to be able to have that as a daycare area.

    Plus with the food programs and county programs, even with 6 kids with max being 10 including my own), I would be making 1.5-2x my income, even being cheaper than most of the other providers around here. AND...I get to be with my kids more. I won't be taking another infant right away because Ben will count as one, and I don't think I could handle more than one. So when Ben is about 8-9 months, I would look at taking one.

    There are a few things that we need to do well before we can take kids, like putting a fence around our pond/garden, which we were going to do anyway, and install a few gates on the deck. We don't need to fence in the yard, but I want to anyway, so the kids can run freely.
     
  7. fuzzykitten99
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    fuzzykitten99 Senior Member

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    oh, this really cracks me up...kids can bring you such joy, but from what it sounds like, they are saying money can bring you the same joy, just from material objects that it can buy.

    personally, I would rather spend the money on the kids, and see their faces when Mickey greets them at Disney World, or be able to talk about how much fun they had on the family camping trip, or getting the exact toy/game they wanted for their birthday. Kids and the memories they help create will last longer than all the money in the world will. My memories of my kids will stretch much farther than a few extra dollars in my pocket.
     
  8. Nienna
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    Nienna Senior Member

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    You're preaching to the choir, for me.
     
  9. Bullypulpit
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    Bullypulpit Senior Member

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    My wife and I are a couple of DINKs (Dual Income, No Kids). And that's how we like it. "Be fruitful and multiply..." may be appropriate for agrarian societies with 50%, or higher, infant mortality rate. But it doesn't so much work in modern industrial and post-industrial societies which pay lip service to "family values" and derides the idea of providing support systems to help raise children. You know...subsidized day-care...paid maternity leave...pre and post natal home wellness nursing visits.

    All necessary, unless one income is sufficent to meet the needs of the family so one parent can stay home and raise the kids. But, as we all know, that is the exception. And don't even get me started on the people who shouldn't even be allowed to own pets, let alone bear children.
     
  10. dilloduck
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    dilloduck Diamond Member

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    So you would have kids if the government would help you pay for them?
     

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