Nice Guys or Bad Boys?

[Anachronism]

Ok folks, this is one of the Eternal Relationship Questions....

Ladies, do you prefer Nice Guys or Bad Boys?.... and WHY?

I'm truly interested to hear what members of both genders think on this one. Ladies, what do you prefer, and are you honest with yourself (and others) about it? Guys, what has your experience been over the years.... do the ladies prefer the nice guy or the guy who is in some way dangerous, or at least a rebellion against social standards?

 

[strollingbones]

bad boys

and one pays the price....i simply expect him to take it outta town....what he does when he is outta town is his business...now fuck up and let it get back to town...i am not happy....be discreet how hard is that

i think it just goes to what you want in life....security and safety go with the nice guy....

 

[random3434]

When I was younger I liked the "semi bad" boys.

Now that I'm older, a man with good character, who is honest, smart and funny is what I look for.

I have that all in my man, and he's a great father to his 2 kids too, which is the most important thing of all.

 

[Anachronism]

Echo, a question for you....

When you were in your "semi-bad boy" phase, were you honest with yourself and others about who/what you were looking for, or did you go around telling yourself and others that you really wanted a "nice guy"?

 

[random3434]

Echo, a question for you....

When you were in your "semi-bad boy" phase, were you honest with yourself and others about who/what you were looking for, or did you go around telling yourself and others that you really wanted a "nice guy"?

Well, I'm not sure what you consider a 'bad boy'-I was raised that men respect women and treat them like ladies. If a guy was an 'a-hole' then I would dump him. So I guess back then, it was more of an attraction thing at first, and then when I got to know their true character I decided if they would stay or they would go.

I've made some mistakes for sure, I was "fooled" by someone BIG TIME, but never again.

 

[Anachronism]

Echo, what I'm asking is more a matter of once you found out what they really were, did you stay with the semi-bad guy or dump his ass and go looking for the "nice guy".

In my personal experience, I spent a LOT of time in High School and college consoling young women who CLAIMED they wanted the "nice guy" (which I tend to be) in their life; but who repeatedly chose and were burned by the "bad boys", only to go right back to them once the tears were wiped away and the initial emotional pain disappeared.

It got bad enough in college that I instituted a "one cry per guy" policy with my female friends. I would be there for them the FIRST time that Mr. Right did them WRONG. If they went back to him a second time, I would not be there the next time he did her wrong.

 

[random3434]

Echo, what I'm asking is more a matter of once you found out what they really were, did you stay with the semi-bad guy or dump his ass and go looking for the "nice guy".

In my personal experience, I spent a LOT of time in High School and college consoling young women who CLAIMED they wanted the "nice guy" (which I tend to be) in their life; but who repeatedly chose and were burned by the "bad boys", only to go right back to them once the tears were wiped away and the initial emotional pain disappeared.

It got bad enough in college that I instituted a "one cry per guy" policy with my female friends. I would be there for them the FIRST time that Mr. Right did them WRONG. If they went back to him a second time, I would not be there the next time he did her wrong.

Nope, only ONCE in my life did I get back with the 'bad guy'- (after a year of not seeing him) and 3 months later he did the same thing to me. Lesson learned, never again.

Nice guys finish first in my world.

 

[Anachronism]

Nope, only ONCE in my life did I get back with the 'bad guy'- (after a year of not seeing him) and 3 months later he did the same thing to me. Lesson learned, never again.

Glad to hear that you learned the lesson the first time, though sorry you had to go through that to learn it,

Nice guys finish first in my world.

Good to hear. Not if only more ladies felt that way.

 

[dilloduck]

What's the deal with the bad boy attraction anyway ? A challenge or self fulfilling prophecy ?

 

[random3434]

What's the deal with the bad boy attraction anyway ? A challenge or self fulfilling prophecy ?

Good question.

You would hope as women mature, they would look for someone that is going to treat them right and be honest and faithful to them.

But, as some of my friends who continue the cycle of dating 'bad boys'-a lot stems from self-esteem issues and things from their past. They always need 'drama' in their life, and if it's not there they get bored.

 

[dilloduck]

What's the deal with the bad boy attraction anyway ? A challenge or self fulfilling prophecy ?

Good question.

You would hope as women mature, they would look for someone that is going to treat them right and be honest and faithful to them.

But, as some of my friends who continue the cycle of dating 'bad boys'-a lot stems from self-esteem issues and things from their past. They always need 'drama' in their life, and if it's not there they get bored.

Maybe it's easier to be rejected by an asshole.

 

[MikeK]

What's the deal with the bad boy attraction anyway ? A challenge or self fulfilling prophecy ?

Good question.

You would hope as women mature, they would look for someone that is going to treat them right and be honest and faithful to them.

But, as some of my friends who continue the cycle of dating 'bad boys'-a lot stems from self-esteem issues and things from their past. They always need 'drama' in their life, and if it's not there they get bored.

I believe you've imparted some substance to this familiar but vague question -- and answered it.

 

[editec]

I've noted that women tend to gravitate to men who aren't afraid of women, and to men who don't have some goofy notions about what women want, how they're to be treated, their socially appropriate role in society and so forth.

Women tend to have good radar when it comes to seeing that these men are still really BOYS.

And every time I've seen some self declaring nice guy whining about how some hot chicks he likes, likes the bad boy?

The overwhelming evidence suggested that guy was making a play for a girl that was (for various reasons) waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out of his league.

How comforting to think, when that happens, that the girl was too blind to see all his noble NICE guy traits, eh?

 

[California Girl]

I got me one of them 'nice guys', never had much time for 'bad boys'.

 

[Shadow]

Women like bad boys for the same reason men like the Sex kittens.

They are sexy,attractive, all the other women want them...and they are a challenge.

Once you catch one though...they usually aren't all that they are cracked up to be.

 

[Anachronism]

Women like bad boys for the same reason men like the Sex kittens.

They are sexy,attractive, all the other women want them...and they are a challenge.

Ok. Then why do so many women CLAIM to want the "Nice Guy" while they're on the prowl for the "Bad Boy"? At least the vast majority of Men are honest about wanting the Sex Kitten rather than the Girl Next Door.

Once you catch one though...they usually aren't all that they are cracked up to be.

Ok. Then why do they go back to the same well time and time again? Isn't it said that one of the definitions of Insanity is.... "Doing the same thing multiple times and expecting different results"?

 

[dilloduck]

Women like bad boys for the same reason men like the Sex kittens.

They are sexy,attractive, all the other women want them...and they are a challenge.

Once you catch one though...they usually aren't all that they are cracked up to be.

Gotcha-----catching the bad boy makes you better than the other chicks
Could it possible be that the animal instinct in females want good mating material for sex but need a nice guy to be their real partner?

 

[Anachronism]

I've noted that women tend to gravitate to men who aren't afraid of women, and to men who don't have some goofy notions about what women want, how they're to be treated, their socially appropriate role in society and so forth.

Of course. Pretty much any human being is going to want to gravitate to people who are not going to hold them accountable for their failings and inadequacies.

Women tend to have good radar when it comes to seeing that these men are still really BOYS.

I TOTALLY disagree on that. Then again we would probably disagree on what the definition of a "boy" is.

And every time I've seen some self declaring nice guy whining about how some hot chicks he likes, likes the bad boy?

The overwhelming evidence suggested that guy was making a play for a girl that was (for various reasons) waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out of his league.

LOL. This "self declaring nice guy" doesn't even bother checking out the hot women. There's no point. Between my personality and my appearance they won't even give me the time of day.

However, when one has a friend who repeatedly comes crying to you that her boyfriend is a scumball and she wishes he were more like you, then goes right back to Mr. Scumball rather than replacing him WITH YOU, one really begins to wonder.

 

[Shadow]

Women like bad boys for the same reason men like the Sex kittens.

They are sexy,attractive, all the other women want them...and they are a challenge.

Ok. Then why do so many women CLAIM to want the "Nice Guy" while they're on the prowl for the "Bad Boy"? At least the vast majority of Men are honest about wanting the Sex Kitten rather than the Girl Next Door.

Once you catch one though...they usually aren't all that they are cracked up to be.

Ok. Then why do they go back to the same well time and time again? Isn't it said that one of the definitions of Insanity is.... "Doing the same thing multiple times and expecting different results"?

Women want what they usually can't have... the best of both worlds. Which is why they will try to change the bad guy to fit their mold. Usually with negative results.

Alot of women don't like to be alone (and can't do it...men make them feel valuable). They will sometimes settle for just being with any man instead of being alone...and won't wait for Mr. right.

 

[Shadow]

Women like bad boys for the same reason men like the Sex kittens.

They are sexy,attractive, all the other women want them...and they are a challenge.

Once you catch one though...they usually aren't all that they are cracked up to be.

Gotcha-----catching the bad boy makes you better than the other chicks
Could it possible be that the animal instinct in females want good mating material for sex but need a nice guy to be their real partner?

Alot of women do like catching the Alpha male. It's an ego/pride kinda thing.

Me...I like a nice guy...with the potential to be bad once in awhile.