Newsflash / Jan 27, 2014

Discussion in 'Middle East - General' started by Emmett, Nov 16, 2005.

  1. Emmett
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    Emmett Active Member

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    From the AP newswire:

    Press Secretary Dan Rather reports this am that President Hillary Clinton has returned home from her trip to Germany accompanied by her husband Secretary General Bill Clinton. The Clintons who were visiting the last hold out nation from the new ONE WORLD ORDER were there explaining the new American Social Health Plan and addressing some of the concerns folks in Germany had expressed.

    "Yes, death from common cold among 4-8 yr olds is up 13% in the US however we expected there would be some transitional problems associated with the logistics of this huge undertaking" replied Mrs. Clinton. Most of this problem is the Republicans who believe private health care was better refusing to sign up and get on the waiting list for treatment. You see, they are killing our children.

    Other news reports have it that a comment was made by the Clinton Pink House that the problem would take care of itself. Secretary of State Ted Kennedy has indicated that the prison system is busting at the seams with Republicans who continue to use illegal money with God printed on it. "This will quickly eradicate the number of Republicans in society and therefore before long we will have no opposition" he declared.

    Secretary of Education Charles Rangal admitted there has been some problems with the new education reforms but bragged that most high school seniors could now spell their last name without referring to their wrist mounted microchips for assistance.

    Attorney General Schmann had no replies when asked his opinion.

    Secretary of Defense John Kerry said "all was well" at the Pentagon! Reconstruction of the building since the November attacks by Iranian warheads was going well and that everyone understoon "it was just a mistake that the missile was fired".

    Surgeon General Howard Dean reports that :the Creepy Flu" pandemic had only killed 300,000 not 4,000,000 which had been reported earlier. He blamed radical illegal Republican groups for the misinformation.
    "I HATE THEM" he said.

    Stay tuned to Standardized American News Service for furthur reports.
     
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  2. Annie
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    Annie Diamond Member

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    Where is that slitting wrist smilie?
     
  3. Bonnie
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    Bonnie Senior Member

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    I liked that, very creative and sadly somewhat accurate :(
     
  4. Emmett
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    Emmett Active Member

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    HB 789,984,946 This bill will serve to make it law that no member of the Democratic States of America will speak out against Government.

    It has come to the attention of Lawmakers both LD (Liberal Democrats) and OD (other Democrats) that people here in America have been verbally attacking the Clintons new Tax Plan of 72% flat tax for individuals earning over 100,000 dollars per year. Also it has been rumoured that some folks refused to surrender their inheritance to help their fellow man in Europe and other countries by which we are now members of the ONE WORLD ORDER.

    The DSOA is not going to return to the days of groups like the NRA speaking it's mind freely in public without recourse.

    Speaking out against Government will be punishable by prison.
     
  5. Emmett
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    Emmett Active Member

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    WE Laugh now!!!! :gross2: :read:
     
  6. Annie
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    Annie Diamond Member

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    Not me. I'm still looking for that smilie.
     
  7. Emmett
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    Emmett Active Member

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    I am forever fascinated by the left, how can folks ever think that having every aspect of their lives controlled by Big Brother can make their life better. I am a radical has been Libertarian. I believe that I was created, imagine that! I also carry a shhhhhhhh! GUN! for protection, I have cheated on my taxes so I could buy food, I think everybody should pay at least a little tax and I am sick to death of watching my country's political theatre become a damn circus.

    I don't get alot of time for chat houses and so forth so I like to interject a little humor for a change to make a point but I believe passionately we need to do something fast or you will be reading something very similar to that newswire above.

    God Belss you all, til the next time.

    Emmett
     
  8. nosarcasm
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    nosarcasm Active Member

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    I am taxed without representation. :cof:
     
  9. theHawk
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    theHawk Registered Conservative

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    LMAO ..."Clinton Pink House" '

    :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
     
  10. LuvRPgrl
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    LuvRPgrl Senior Member

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    I CHEAT on my taxes so I can buy a bigger car. :) (thats for you Kathianne! )
     

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