Newly Discovered Documents Shed Light On Nation's Creepy Founding Uncles

[blu]

Newly Discovered Documents Shed Light On Nation's Creepy Founding Uncles | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

PHILADELPHIA—In what is being hailed as the most significant historical discovery in recent memory, workers renovating Independence Hall last month unearthed a vast trove of documents penned by the nation's Founding Uncles, a group of off-putting, largely disreputable, but nonetheless influential relatives of America's early heroes.

I wonder how these guys will get written into the history textbooks

 

[Baruch Menachem]

Robert E Lee's dad qualifies. As does Sam Adams, to a degree. George Washington's stepsons were nothing to write home about either.

 

[007]

Interesting.

 

[rightwinger]

The Onion on top of this breaking story once again

 

[JakeStarkey]

The article is a spoof, of course.

 

[Avatar4321]

The article is a spoof, of course.

The Onion is running spoofs?!??! Holy crap! Since when? How did the editors let this get by them?

I don't know if I can trust the Onion as a serious news source anymore. Thank you for showing me the light.

 

[Douger]

I found this on the real founding Nazi's
Which U.S. Presidents Owned Slaves?

 

[blu]

The article is a spoof, of course.

uh, no its not. quit trying to derail my thread

 

[JakeStarkey]

See, Avatar, you can learn when you pay attention.

 

[Yurt]

The article is a spoof, of course.

 

[William Joyce]

But the documents also reveal their unique viewpoints of the moments that defined a nation: Wayne Adams, crouched behind an ale cask, witnessed the Boston Massacre in its entirety, and ruined family gatherings for years after with detailed, enthusiastic recollections of the blood and viscera he saw that day. And though he is not a signatory to the document, Chuck Madison attended the Constitutional Convention, apparently for the sole purpose of cornering delegates and attempting to persuade them to put all of their money into a "cannot miss" Spanish doubloon currency- exchange scheme.

Hi-larious!

 

[JakeStarkey]

The article is a spoof, of course.

uh, no its not. quit trying to derail my thread

I am helping out the far righties who believe the article is the real thing.